The little things in life. =)

Just finished a weekend of loving goodness. yesterday was a perfect day with the man I would call my forever home. My dear dear, I would go to the ends of the world with you, and never look back. I love you so so so much. :) just thinking about your smile would make everything wrong go right. yesterday was a day we spent tgt, trying to get to hort park and mt faber, but plans had to shift due to the heavy heavy rain which the bus stop saved us from in the nick of time. it was a day with some slight discourse over earth and forest trail (what's wrong with me! lol!) and dear dear's initial disappointment with dji. but everything ended nicely when we managed to spend time tgt at home.. having a nice homey hawker center dinner, dear dear 疼我 and let me over order oyster omelette.. It was a cold night, but my heart is infinitely full and warm because you're in it. ^^ dear dear, 谢谢你 。I want this life with you in it, so much that I can't put a pen to paper for it. That's a ...

Why is the pensive associated with regret  remorse and longing? Why does reflections have to be laced with a brim of sad? Let's change that!  We are fast pressing on to 6 months!!! Time flew!!! ^^ Haha, this blog is almost becoming a relationship blog. I think that represents the proportion of my life that has been filled because of you. Hehe, more about that later. Let me try to inject a bit of balance first. 2020 has been a year of 圆满, balanced in its expression, full in its experience. Life has been tough enough for everyone. I'm glad everyone got to where we are and managed to adapt through it. This year, I express my gratitude for my country, which has proven to execute thoughtful functional kiasu through crisis. I'm thankful that we are where we are not by luck but by design. I'm thankful for the many dumps that I sat in professionally, for they have honed a greater sense of balance in my decision making. I accept that I'm always the feeler, and I should moder...

31.  A third of life passed- what have I achieved? What routes have I journeyed? Where am I headed in this lifetime?  A third of life passed- have I figured put what kind of person I am and want to be? What values and principles do I stand for?  A third of life passed- is that considered short or long? Have I wasted too much time? Do I still have time to get back on track?  Dear dear, 5 months past and I find myself in a dip of reflection and a ton of self remorse and reproach. I wish everyday that I could be a better partner to you, and I strive everyday to be wiser and more mindful of my every action. I struggle to make up my mind and elucidate what I truly stand for. This week, I reckon with the failures that I struggle with as a person. I am not a bad person. But in my struggle to please and adapt to every situation that came my way, I have let myself be shaped loosely by the external influences and failed to firm up my innermost core. I am not a bad person. But ...

It's 2am and I'm still having trouble sleeping.. I guess the past 2 days have been intense on my churning mind. This is probably the first time we went through a mini man made crisis together as a couple.  It got me thinking about how I didn't do so well to protect you from what I know to be insensitive and 任性 natures of my mother which I should have expected. I further got me thinking about the times whe  I wasn't firm enough to walk away from past baggages and you had to step in for me to block and delete certain contacts that wasnt doing me good. These reflections led me back to the very very very start, when my dear dear splash water on me to 叫我 "清醒一点!!"。Back then  you told me, that if given a choice, 99.99%  of the population would not choose to hurt the person they love because they don't want to hurt somebody else. Unless I'm that 0.001%, I should find it easier to have my answer. Truth is, I dislike having to hurt another person in general. Tru...

Love Someone There are days, I wake up and I pinch myself. That you're with me, not some one else . I smiled the entire way through my run today. I skipped through the sad songs because they no longer resonate, and I can't remember why they ever did. I circle this happy one; this one that trembles with love, joy and a little bit of delicate fear. For I have something that I actually fear to lose, for the first time in this lifetime. I have You.  You're Fearless, when I'm fearful. You're logical where I'm over emotional. You're willing to take a leap of faith, when I'm held back by my worries and self fulfilling prophecies. You're the start of every story I want to participate in and close. And I'm so much Braver now, because of you.  In due time, when we are on the cusp of a new life together.  In due time, when we are on the cusp of a busy and mundane life together.  In due time, when we are on the armchair looking back together.  I know I will ...

Has it been that long since i dropped by to pen a proper thought her in this platform? I am almost certain i have reread those past few posts over and over again in the last 3 years though. 3 years, how time flies. How much the world has changed, how much has my work, my family, my friendships, my relationship and myself changed. Dad, if you looked at the me today, and we had a beer or coffee together, what would you say? sk