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平安

It's 2am and I'm still having trouble sleeping.. I guess the past 2 days have been intense on my churning mind. This is probably the first time we went through a mini man made crisis together as a couple. 

It got me thinking about how I didn't do so well to protect you from what I know to be insensitive and 任性 natures of my mother which I should have expected. I further got me thinking about the times whe  I wasn't firm enough to walk away from past baggages and you had to step in for me to block and delete certain contacts that wasnt doing me good. These reflections led me back to the very very very start, when my dear dear splash water on me to 叫我 "清醒一点!!"。Back then  you told me, that if given a choice, 99.99%  of the population would not choose to hurt the person they love because they don't want to hurt somebody else. Unless I'm that 0.001%, I should find it easier to have my answer. Truth is, I dislike having to hurt another person in general. Truth is, the person who loves me the most always gets the brunt of it, because in the end I will choose to hurt the person who won't cause me pain- because they love me. 

I no longer want to do that. 

Dear dear, you know, I have never spoken up to my mummy this way before. For the first time, I realise how much I wish to protect the man I so dearly dearly love. For the first time, I got angry with myself for not standing up for you. For the first time, I have so much reason to 捍卫我们的爱情. And the reason is you. Haha cliche song lyrics copying 🤣🤣, but it is the truth. Today, when you gave me 平安，you know my first thought was- I would give everything away just so that you will be 平安快乐。傻瓜。 😊

Dear dear, this time let you偷看hehe. I love you. Please don't forget the 3 promises I made you on our very first month. :) this is promise #3, me making myself a better person for you everyday. 

看一次笑一次😊🥰

晓娟

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