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i will carry my crimes.

it's ancient. and i most probably shouldn't rake this up n open up old wounds. but, i don't want to leave things hanging.





why did i allow it to end that way?

why did i make it so?

im sorry.

my secondary school years- especially the times i had with my np buddies- was, is and most probably will continue to be the best time of my entire life. that still hold true, the only difference now, is that i'm starting to see what lies underneath the pretty facade. the blood, hurt, pain, sadness of others. i plead guilty.

i'm sorry.

i'm aware that no amount of apology can make up for the hurt i've caused. but that's the only thing i can do within my powers. im sorry.

i really didn't mean to hurt, or spoil that special day for u- our one and only ROD... really didn't mean to. neither did i mean to cause hurt with my actions, but trust me, our intentions were not as you thought they were. in fact, we didn't intend anything at all. but it's the unthinking that really hurts i understand.

i didn't know how much hurt i was causing anyone. i was oblivious, and you can say- and i won't deny- i was too caught up in myself. i didn't see you, nor your pain. it only came into view that I was being accused wrongly, and that made everything worse. i only saw myself, saw my side of the story. i failed to see your pain, or the insecurities that pushed you to think the way you did. it's all clear and logical now. it wasn't then. ahh...it's coming back to me now... what happened... vicious cycle. now that sounds like an excuse.

i had shamelessly forgotten about whatever had happened; became blind when the hurt i caused throbs on. i wasn't even aware.

have you forgotten? i hope so. and i sincerely hope time has healed... i'm ashamed of what i had been, what i had done, what my childishness had caused.

i'm sorry that your memory of something so magical and memorable had to be tainted by me. it's too late to make amends now.

i'm sorry that i allowed things to end the way they did.

i sincerely wish that you never have to meet anyone else like me in your life ever again. may your life be ever blissful. but can i shamelessly request? can we bury the hatchet? can you forgive me? and let everything return to when we were 14? haa i'm being childish again- my living in the past. haa... nvm i said tt. =)

sk

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