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A much needed, incoherent rant.

When things get sensationalised, i wonder, do we think before we react? I keep trying to be absolutely objective in making a decision. Then i realise, honestly, it's quite the impossible thing to do. You see, this thing called selective perception and selective attention is something that people fall to, almost everytime. And this is not an academic smoke piece. Considering things properly, people believe what they wish to believe, and once that thought catches on i guess pretty much anything can be twisted to suit your desired perception- whatever it is you want. Perhaps it's a natural cognitive process. It is just that much easier to have a stand and fit evidences to it, than to view evidences before making a stand.

I tried to exercise objectivity, and think from both sides, their individual merits and demerits, before making a stand. i tried to compare to politics in other countries, look back deep into our own history and others', look at real trends before i make a decision. Why? In part, it's my own pride wanting to execute better thinking than peers. (I'm a little ashamed to say that, and i can't deny it, nor do i wanna ignore it.) But in the larger part, i've never wanted to make a decision that i cannot retract. My friends will know this. This comes from my belief that there are always exceptions to watch for, that no one answer will ever suffice. It's not that i don't want to, but i simply can't make a decision without absolute conviction. So now, if i'm asked for this big decision, i feel like i only must go through these evaluations before i choose.

But i digress. Like i said, i tried to be objective and look at all corners before deciding. because i don't want to fall victim to selective perception. But well, i think i'm about to give up on that. It's starting to feel like a lost cause, like i'm going around in circles. It gave y brain such stress to consider everything in the course of research that i had a near nervous breakdown over the whirlpool of information and emotions flying around. Well, i brought it upon myself. So stupid really. But ya, i think that's not gonna work so i shall have to make a stand and go with it regardless.

Oh well. I tried, but i think my cognitive capacity is very very sadly, inadequate.

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