Maybe I talk too much, talk too loud, talk too easy and talk too mindless.
Maybe, i don't know. Don't really know what to do, so i'm not really gonna try anymore. I try too hard, and ask too much sometimes.
Tonight is not the best of nights, again. Feel like taking a gasp of fresh air outside right now. I rmb how i used to say that my favourite smell in the world is just that of the cold, moist air in the wee mornings.
Was looking at a clip from BP's teacher's Day, and got reminded once again of those happy naive times. When the world's greatest problems came from NP, world's best and worst friends were from NP, and how at the end of the day, there was no problem a good deal of pegging on the field/behind the NP room won't heal. Therapeutic clanging of metal pegs. ahha. Thinking back, i guess these kinds of simple joys may simply be insufficient for some to think back upon these days fondly. Not fun enough, not outrageous enough, not mad enough, and just plain meaningless things to rmb. Perhaps. But one man's trash will always be another's treasure isn't it? and they are mine.
haven't done the kind of yearly review that i used to do in a long time. I'm 22, and honestly, i'm not sure exactly what i've achieved. My academic life is in its final trimester. i'm just so close to being a pre-reg pharmacist. And yet, i feel nothing close to being competent. character wise, i think pretty much every virtue has deteriorated, while every vice manifested even more. Who am i and what do i stand for? at an incumbent major crossroad of my life, i have got absolutely no idea. (that is probably the only concrete idea i harbour.) I never imagined life in the future to be like this (from when i was a kid), never imagined it to be so aimless. But then again, who is there to blame but myself? For if i don't set an aim for myself, who can do that for me?
tired of ranting. (this is another particularly bad habit that has grown to enormous proportions over the years. My short attention/interest span.) I just really wanna cross my fingers and hope that the coming few months will shed more light on my next step to take.
今晚的眼泪，掺杂着对爸爸的思念，和对妈妈的心疼与不舍。面对着要离开家的两个孩子们，剩下空空的巢，想到妈妈的处境就忍不住鼻酸。妈妈这辈子的路，艰辛啊。终于成熟的我，满满开始体会妈妈的路。 老爸啊，妹妹真的好想你。我很放不下妈妈。我想啊，可能你走的时候也同样牵挂吧。有空回来看看她ok? 妈妈很想你。保佑妈妈能勇敢地找出新的人生目标，让生活依旧充实。你也一样哦。我还在想象，老爸如果你还在的话，你会对这一切有什么想法和感触。爸爸离开家的时候，是不是也和我一样不舍? 今晚的我，也特别感激有一个疼我的老公。看着视频里，突然之间，没有预兆地大哭起来的老婆- 超难搞的。我知道老公很少会允许自己的悲伤这么放纵出来。所以要你能体会，不审判，不指责，就只是专心聆听和陪伴，其实不容易。可是老公就是那么疼我。我到底做了什么，值得老公那么爱我。万分歉意，可是我就是停不来。最后也只能在心里不断地(边哭，边)说谢谢，希望这人生路上我也能一直这样扶持你度过。 夜深了，该睡了。心里挂念的人们，晚安了。
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