Skip to main content

In the face of death, all stands trivial

life.




ends.


eventually.


i count my blessings many times a day, for having all my loved ones by my side. for being alive.

at 10, as i light up those joss sticks n pray for blessings. i wish for success in my studies, my life.

at 15, i started to pray for everyone in my family. n started to feel tt i've slightly matured n became less self centered, starting to care for my family...

at 17, i pray for everyone in my life. thn i realised tt caring for others, in an indirect sort of way, is my way of being selfish.

bt selfish i'll cont to b.


i won't deny, i fear the cycle of life n death. i fear it, reject it, and try to ignore it. but death has time n again stared me in the face, such tt i cant help but acknowledge its presence. i'm frightened by the fragility of life. by how easily life in a person cn disappear, the way i can choose to shut down this computer.


i cannot stand the thought of losing someone. cant stand the thought of anyone losing something as valuable as life. can't stand the unfairness of it all.


bt i understand that it's inevitable. that 1 day, the one most important to me will pass on. tt one day i will pass on. it's simply a matter of tym. if fate dictates it to b so, i may die in my sleep afterwards. i may, cant rule out that possibility. but if fate decides otherwise, i might live on, n rise to see the sunrise tomorrow; and pray my buddha, see my family once again. for one more day, everyday.


in a way, it boosts me to strive, n work, n leave no regrets. i have to leave one day, my loved ones too. bt we're not leaving behind a life of regrets. no. i want to have everyone look back n smile at the life they had. n perhaps, after that tumult of sadness n despair, we cn smile at wat had been.perhaps.


the human spirit, is irreplaceable. that fighting spirit, that ability to shower care, that strength in adversity. i've witnessed ppl go thru death in remarkable strength. i truly salute them. i'm unsure if i can be the same, bt i hope tt i cn be, for the sake of myself n others.


right now, let me live life fully, with no regrets. live a life of fulfilment. to put it pesimistically, i'm preparing for my n other's passing on. if i cn chg the situation, i will. n i'll try everything. maybe one day during my funeral, ppl will hum to "i'm walking on sunshine... oh oh ooh..."

i'm thankful i can still type. thankful my mum cn still nag.

wat's da greatest wealth in life? the ability to eat shit n sleep. it's true.


i noe it will all end one day. that the day will come, when grades, wages, jobs, gst, politics, terrorism will cease to be of importance. i'm jus refusing to admit it. let me live in denial, up to the day im forced to face up to reality.


i have not been thru the pains of parting.... so i perhaps cant understand as well... bt, i understand enuf to noe... tt it's not sth i want to understand yet.


live on, n live on strong. until the day i lose u, or u lose me; whn tt day comes, we'll live on even stronger thn before. take each stride in life with more confidence n strength, guarded by blessings of our loved ones, whether or not thy are physically thr.

b4 i run out of tym. i love u. to everyone in my life.

sk

p/s: i was struck by the sudden gush of helplessness against the vicious cycle of life. wahaha i had to pen [or rather, type this down. i name this day, the day i once again woke up to the truth of life!! =D rarrr, dont worry, i'm not thinking of suicide, just in case anyone worries about tt. i'm perfectly calm, n i'm aiming to live on to a ripe age. just, facing up. =) really =)


haa, i myt just decide to do sth completely unlyk me. sth out of my world. something crazy. wahaha. ALL IN THE SPRIT OF LIFE! =D

finally, i apologise fr this out of the ordinary post :)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

眼泪

今晚的眼泪,掺杂着对爸爸的思念,和对妈妈的心疼与不舍。面对着要离开家的两个孩子们,剩下空空的巢,想到妈妈的处境就忍不住鼻酸。妈妈这辈子的路,艰辛啊。终于成熟的我,满满开始体会妈妈的路。 老爸啊,妹妹真的好想你。我很放不下妈妈。我想啊,可能你走的时候也同样牵挂吧。有空回来看看她ok? 妈妈很想你。保佑妈妈能勇敢地找出新的人生目标,让生活依旧充实。你也一样哦。我还在想象,老爸如果你还在的话,你会对这一切有什么想法和感触。爸爸离开家的时候,是不是也和我一样不舍? 今晚的我,也特别感激有一个疼我的老公。看着视频里,突然之间,没有预兆地大哭起来的老婆- 超难搞的。我知道老公很少会允许自己的悲伤这么放纵出来。所以要你能体会,不审判,不指责,就只是专心聆听和陪伴,其实不容易。可是老公就是那么疼我。我到底做了什么,值得老公那么爱我。万分歉意,可是我就是停不来。最后也只能在心里不断地(边哭,边)说谢谢,希望这人生路上我也能一直这样扶持你度过。 夜深了,该睡了。心里挂念的人们,晚安了。

RAR! =D

wosh! went visiting at syaza's today!!! BLARDY FUNNY CAN!!!!! =DDD LOL!! there was this 2 super funny videos- 1. "what what my butt!!" some cheapo -erm- hard gay, hillarious, yah. jus DAMN FUNNY LAH! thn another 1 making fun of this bolly wood movie!!! =DD LOL GIRLY MAN GIRLY MAN!! =DD go youtube search 4 it!!! =DD SUPER funny! =D wakaka, lol, it was fuuuuuuunnn man!! wahaha!!!!! n syaza's small bucket of lard is damn nice lah! made nuggets =D. anyhoos! JIA you to syaz!! n nad n kam!! JIA you 4 wat pprs u hav left!!! =D JIA you li! 4 da plain fun of it!! =DDD OOOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!!!! all the best man!!! the best as in, vvv GOOD! as in vv HAO !! GOOD GOOD!!! DA BOMB MAN! =D wah. tt was pure idiocy. =) nvm, i jus made someone happy =). karma booster. sk

/əˈfrɛʃ/

I think it's time to start afresh, right up from ground zero. Funny to attempt a rebirth of character at a quarter of a century, I know. (okay, i confess i struggled between whether I'm a quarter of a decade or quarter of a century old). But well, some things have to be done! To quote my favouritest female singer-songwriter; my (sort-of) life inspiration; "to give yourself a new life, you have to give the other one away". I am famous for holding on too tightly to the past. Perhaps it's time to let good, let go. Seek forgiveness, and also forgive myself for old wrongdoings, whether or not I truly deserve it (who's to judge?). Life simply must not be spent wallowing in the past. (For we are not warthogs, hakuna matata) So-  Hello world, again.  (: sk p/s: #(parenthesesabuse)