I've held off posting this for a long time.
I'm very poor at following up with ppl, regardless of how close we may be. this is because i'm always too caught up with the "thr and then"s, so I find it hard to reply texts, keep up with frequent updates via text, fb etc.
But i make it a point though, for those few special individuals who are a little more special than others, to go out of my way to help when help is needed. Being there when it matters, that's what matters- to me. But perhaps everyone has a different idea of friendship. Pardon my being an old stick in the mud, but people of the past never had the luxury of phones, or the economic capacity to constantly meet up with friends. But that did not affect their ability to make friends.
For a particular friend who meant a lot a lot to me. I still rmb the night we talked about your plans, and i rmb your defiance. Your wilful rebuttal. What hurt was not that our well meaning advice fell on deaf ears. What hurt was the impression that you seem to think we are judging you, and so you need to defend yourself. That was a lack of trust right thr. It's been so many years, you should have known that we only mean well. Moreover, it's us 2. I can understand your anxiety, your need to proof sth to yourself, your need to try on sth bigger; but i had thought this particular friendship would be worth more trust in spite of all that.
A girl friend of mine once said, as friends we always sit tgt, complaining about stuffs, and we all know that none of us needed anyone's advice. Probably none of us will take anyone's either. After all, your life is yours. But carmaradarie is built on such talks, the fact that I know you can't help, but it's nice to have someone to share my burden by ear. I always believe that friends are the people whom I don't need to put up any pretense with, when i can be entirely truthful and speak my mind, regardless of how childish, selfish, jealous or irresponsible i may sound. I don't need to be right and perfect all the time, with my friends. But should the day come, and it has before, when either parties find a need to put up such fences, then I'd start to qn the patency of the friendship and possibly start to draw away. I dont tend to salvage, because I don't like to make people chg for me. And this probably sums up my sentiments about the above-mentioned friend.
It's a great pity.
But I can't open up to you anymore, if you can't be open with me. A fence blocks both ways.
sk
I'm very poor at following up with ppl, regardless of how close we may be. this is because i'm always too caught up with the "thr and then"s, so I find it hard to reply texts, keep up with frequent updates via text, fb etc.
But i make it a point though, for those few special individuals who are a little more special than others, to go out of my way to help when help is needed. Being there when it matters, that's what matters- to me. But perhaps everyone has a different idea of friendship. Pardon my being an old stick in the mud, but people of the past never had the luxury of phones, or the economic capacity to constantly meet up with friends. But that did not affect their ability to make friends.
For a particular friend who meant a lot a lot to me. I still rmb the night we talked about your plans, and i rmb your defiance. Your wilful rebuttal. What hurt was not that our well meaning advice fell on deaf ears. What hurt was the impression that you seem to think we are judging you, and so you need to defend yourself. That was a lack of trust right thr. It's been so many years, you should have known that we only mean well. Moreover, it's us 2. I can understand your anxiety, your need to proof sth to yourself, your need to try on sth bigger; but i had thought this particular friendship would be worth more trust in spite of all that.
A girl friend of mine once said, as friends we always sit tgt, complaining about stuffs, and we all know that none of us needed anyone's advice. Probably none of us will take anyone's either. After all, your life is yours. But carmaradarie is built on such talks, the fact that I know you can't help, but it's nice to have someone to share my burden by ear. I always believe that friends are the people whom I don't need to put up any pretense with, when i can be entirely truthful and speak my mind, regardless of how childish, selfish, jealous or irresponsible i may sound. I don't need to be right and perfect all the time, with my friends. But should the day come, and it has before, when either parties find a need to put up such fences, then I'd start to qn the patency of the friendship and possibly start to draw away. I dont tend to salvage, because I don't like to make people chg for me. And this probably sums up my sentiments about the above-mentioned friend.
It's a great pity.
But I can't open up to you anymore, if you can't be open with me. A fence blocks both ways.
sk
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