I am here to offer anyone who reads this blog a fresh definition of the word: PROCRASTINATION.
i wrote the post below at the end of the previous year. it's my usual habit to wrap up a year and look forward to the next one on my blog. When i was single, lonely and w/o much freedom, this is what i did to quell away the lonesome feelings on new year's eve. I did this last year, but didn't manage to complete it then. VOILA! it's been a year now and i STILL havent gotten down to doing it. I shall leave the post as it was and post it now. So to however is reading and to SK2010, the next time you tell urself "i have got no time to do this now. let's stash it and come back later.", please slap urself immediately and finish whatever you are doing first. because more often than not, the "stashed aways" dont get done- like this post. RMB THAT.
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Hello 2009.
Goodbye 2008. It's been a bittersweet year.
2008 zoomed past before i could fully grasp the works of things. I believe this is a sentiment shared by many other than myself. Or rather, many of those in my social circle. I guess this is mainly because everyone was plunged into a whole new life and a set of whole new experience, hence the rush. For me, change was plentiful; both apparent and inapparent.
Lets see, 2008 saw me starting off on the other side of the classroom- as a teacher rather than a student. I must say it was really quite an enriching and fresh experience. Really puts things into perspective. And no, teaching is not as easy as it seems. Though it pays well. Super well (for a temp job. Ah~ all those tax payers' money spent on people like me. AH~~~ I had my fair share of good and bad experiences. Teaching at Swiss Cottage sec was a once in a lifetime experience. First. We all know how it feels when you're thrown with this group of well bonded ppl, and you feel like the sore thumb. that was what it was like at swiss. Most of the relief teachers were from the school and knew each other before hand. I started off with prejudice, and much unwillingness. But of course learning this important lesson that it's all in the mind was well worth the time spent there. eing completely new, I had to learn the ropes of teaching, learn my way around the school, msot importantly, learn to socialise quickly with complete strangers. I came out of that teaching stint feeling much refreshed and altered. Swiss Cottage was a wonderful school. The staff there were honestly the friendliest and most bonded i've seen by far. All smiles at anyone you see, regardless of whether or not you knew them. I still remember getting so used to this and feeling silly cus i continued with it when i went over to pj. Smiling like an idiot lol. Mr Liew from Swiss was a one of a kind principal. He's the kind of person who would fade into the background. seemed like it. Until he speaks. Mr Liew speaks the language of sincerity and conviction. When he talks, people really do listen. And lol, picture this, He's the kind of principal who'd walk by a normal tech class; see the students go "eh Mr Liew!" *wave*, and happily wave back. This same principal can also walk by the same class, during a lesson, see the same scenario, and step into the class to warn the students to pay attention. No it's not schizo. It's knowing there's a time for work ad play. An old man who can chill. Admired. The relief teaching experience extended into PJ, where i taught Bio. I honestly think i performed far far far below what i expected of myself. I feel as though i failed my students and teachers. So let's not go there. It's one regret that i'll always have. My conclusion after the long relief teaching experience: I don't think i'm cut out to be a teacher. I enjoy the job no doubt. It provides the satisfaction that can't be found anywhere else. But the amount of patience and stamina seems too much to handle. And honestly, I doubt it can hold my interest for very long. Imagine repeating the same content to different classes again and again until you know it by heart. No joke k! It's amazing how teachers do it.
Post relief teaching came the time of undergraduate studies. I now read Pharmacy at NUS. Managed to secure a scholarship with MOH health sciences. Well, what can i say. Friends who hear from me would know how stressful and tough i find the course. It's no easy business. My grades at the end of the first sem was not satisfactory by my standards. And even worse, i worry about losing the scholarship. Hai, Up till now, i still think back to ppl telling me "uni is so much easier than jc!!!", then swear in my mind "damn you bull shit!" traumatising. uni is an eye opening, life changing experience. I am still trying very hard to get used to he system. I lost my streak of discipline somewhere along the way, during the transition of JC to work to uni. So uni was really tough shit for me. i CANNOT wake up on time to gett my 8AM lectues. i blamed everything i could blame. blamed my mum for not allowing me to stay in hall. blame myself for not applying. scolded the transport. internally whined about why everybody must go to work at this time. etc etc. well, willy-san said something which is always stuck in my mind. "it's not that you cannot wake up. that's impossible. if you wanted o wake up you definitely can. it's because you think it's ok to wake up late and go to class late. that's why you can't wake up" logical enough. But i didn't see it until he mentioned. It all runs down to discipline. MY best takeaway from the sem was the understanding of how important it is to have discipline. Must be disciplined enough to wake up, pay attention, print notes before hand, read before hand, find out tips from senior, find qns and solutions, source out text books, read and memorise every single day. DISCIPLINE. i failed this last sem. really. i lost to myself. Because i had no discipline. That's not gonna happen a second time. I will hit above 4.5 next sem. Hopefully 4.7 to 4.8 cap. SK JIAYOU!
Other highlights of this hectic year:
1. Being chosen as valedictorian for PJ. this was crazy. i still think it is. But ah well~ at least the crowd enjoyed my speech. that's all that really matters to me.
2. got back A level results. got 3 As 2Bs. I must say the results were quite satisfactory. though i wish i could've done better for gp but i'm not complaining. I rmb the scenario that day. It was frightening to be so lost as to what to do and how to behave. Thinking of A levels always makes me think of my study group. KK Josh Edwin Eileen. I'm proud of us! and thank you guys for always being there. It's a blessing having you guys here.
3.Got accepted by MOH for scholarship.
4. took part in NUS rag dance. This is kinda a once in a lifetime experience too. first time i participated in a large scale event of this nature. performing nature i meant. Was much fun learning and practicing the dance. made some nice new friends here and there. Pity i didn't stick it out with 'em.
5. pharm camp. got to know the ppl i hang out with in uni now- my og mates.
6. took up the role as costumes head in Rag 09 exco. Pity it didnt fall through. Pharm rag was disbanded before we could do anything.
7. Became OGL for xperience pharmacy camp. 1st time being an ogl. 'twas quite an interesting experience. BEing the clown of the group was fun. Ha, able to unleash my maternal streak, that feel of being older nyeha. was fun acting older (though i really wasnt much older than the participants. 1/2 year solder only maybe). i was blessed with a pretty fun loving group. really enjoyed myself as their ogl. but the interesting thing was about being caught in a position where i get to watch the exco but not be part of it. observing a different style of leadership. learning from the good, cautioned against the bad.
8. Became vice president for PAC. speaking of which i really need to get my engine going again to organise AGM and do up the website. ROAR. Gotta chiong!) I won't say much about this now, except that i hope PAC will clib even higher, become more active and more recognised in PJ in the years to come. this is my vision my pac for the year. JIAYOU.
9. finally, and the most significant thing that happened to me this year, sk got attached. =) it's been almost 10 mths, and a life changing 10 mths it has been. this r/s has really caused me to changed, grew and degenerated in various ways. ultimately, whether it's been a good or bad thing, is something i'm still trying to decide. i won't talk much about it today. But i'll wrap it up with one word: bittersweet.
there're many people i've met this year. various characters, some of whom i've admired from the bottom of my heart, some of whom i depend on... elaborate further later. but a short shout out to...
ili. you're always the first person to come to my mind when i think of friends. we've drifted apart in the past year. most definitely. maybe it's caused by both of us. But on my part, i know i can't seem to face you in the current state i'm in. i'm not exactly proud of who i am now. i'm still trying to become sk again. till then, you'll be on my mind.
jo. ilu so much! you've always been there for me! so much so that i feel bad, cus on the contrary, i'm almost always absent. sorry dear. you're my love! :) nuf said.
xb. we too have drifted apart, but similarly, you're onn my mind all the time. talk to me more ki hope you're happy...
jiahao. this is really private. but you'll always be someone special to me. not special as in that special kinda special. but special as in, i don't think i'll ever find another friend who'll be remotely like you. i guess this is what ppl call mo qi. talking to you, always makes me feel light and joyful. thank you for being a part of my life.
study group dudes. i really miss you guys!
Relief teachers gang. _____ elaborate later, there's too much to say about all of you. i can't justify how i feel with a summary. =) except maybe with this: thank you all.
Jenny. nah not really jenny. rather, goh JENN Y ang. (jenny ang). =D this was how you introduced yourself to me on the first day we met right? =) Thank you love, for being a part of my life too. i've learnt much from you, and i'm still working hard on understanding you. through this, somehow, i'm starting to understand myself better too. weird. i can't explian or pin point exactly why i love you. but i really do. sorry for all the bitter times i've put us through, let's hope the future will be better k lao gong? =) ilu~ we won't give up. things will get better.
and many many more to come. kiv.
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HA. HA. HA. sk u're full of bull! =D
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