The little things in life. =)

The difference between us, is that you seem to think you deserve so little, while I seem to think I deserve a whole lot more. The truth- which I now begin to see- is the exact opposite.

Ah ma, I really miss you. Sometimes, I guess when you're really down and out, things from your comfortable and simple past just gets to you. My ah ma is one. I said, the one thing I was really afraid of with my grandmother's passing, is that I would forget her. I was afraid I would forget the way she looks, her voice when she calls my name, the way she beams when I (or anybody else) greet her at every visit, the way she'd ask us if we want milo (for the kids) or kopi (for the adults) when we went over in the past. Especially the way she beams when her children and grandchildren greeted her. Her smile conveyed a sort of warmth and love that she had for every single member of the family, no less for anyone, i tell you. It broke my heart at the end, when I greeted her, and she didn't respond. That broke my heart the most. Someone asked me what were the lessons that my ah ma taught me. I said "independence", thinking again, I'd say love too.

my 2nd incident with renal adjustments. what's the use of a pharmacist who forgets to dose adjust? Can't believe it. time for confession.

We all have limited time on this Earth,  and a limited 24 hours in a day. What you choose to pack into that 24 hours, will decide what your life portrait will look like at the end of your road. (Yes, I think a lot about the end of the road nowadays.) I was just thinking to myself yesterday, if i applied the "rise of the guardian" concept to myself, what would my core be? I had wanted it to be love. I had thought that love shouldn't be limited. I had thought, that I would be able to dedicate a certain share of love to all the people in my life, who needed the care at the point in time when they do. I had thought, that my heart should be big enough to welcome as many people in as possible. Because ultimately, at the end of my road, I want to breath my last breath smiling, knowing that I have made a difference to people. I had thought that was possible, but i forgot that while my heart can be limitless, my time can't. In trying to be everybody's friend, I have fa...

I take my work too seriously. Jiahao ccan testify to that. Half the time, I bet nobody takes me even a quarter times as seriously as I do myself. That's why I tend to be affected a little too easily I guess. Can be good, can be bad, who's to say right? It's my first independent week in the wards as a full-fledged pharmacist all on my own. 2 episodes have struck me hard: 1) A certain Dr from my ward came over to me one day and asked. This Fluconazole, is the dose ok? I stumbled and said I would check. And check I did, even though I rmbed very clearly why we started the pt on the drug the day before, and why we chose that dose. Just had to be doubly sure. So I confidently got back to him with my answer, and his response left me in shock. He said "this patient has a crcl of ___. Is that too high?" For the love of pharmacy, I did not check the renal adjustments of this drug. And he addressed me "Ms Koh" (nth wrong with that, but it just didnt sit very ...

i break, too. breaking down at the cusp of our graduation. and you, i really want to trust you. i haven't trusted anyone in my life in quite the same way as i do you. i really really really do want to. 

I've held off posting this for a long time. I'm very poor at following up with ppl, regardless of how close we may be. this is because i'm always too caught up with the "thr and then"s, so I find it hard to reply texts, keep up with frequent updates via text, fb etc. But i make it a point though, for those few special individuals who are a little more special than others, to go out of my way to help when help is needed. Being there when it matters, that's what matters- to me. But perhaps everyone has a different idea of friendship. Pardon my being an old stick in the mud, but people of the past never had the luxury of phones, or the economic capacity to constantly meet up with friends. But that did not affect their ability to make friends. For a particular friend who meant a lot a lot to me. I still rmb the night we talked about your plans, and i rmb your defiance. Your wilful rebuttal. What hurt was not that our well meaning advice fell on deaf ears. Wh...

I have officially lost interest in sleep. (Or work, for that matter.) Came across an old blog post where i did this huge list of personality tests and decided to do sth immensely useless: hahha THEN & NOWW! XD so here we go, really quick! 1) THEN: Your Brain is 47% Female, 53% Male Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve What Gender Is Your Brain? NOW:  Your Brain is 67% Female, 33% Male Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you! 2) THEN:   You Are Pretty Logical You're a bit of a wizard when it comes to logic While you don't have perfect logic, you logic is pretty darn good Keep...

I have officially lost interest in sleep. (Or work, for that matter.) Came across an old blog post where i did this huge list of personality tests and decided to do sth immensely useless: hahha THEN & NOWW! XD so here we go, really quick! 1) THEN: Your Brain is 47% Female, 53% Male Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve What Gender Is Your Brain? NOW:  Your Brain is 67% Female, 33% Male Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you! 2) THEN:   You Are Pretty Logical You're a bit of a wizard when it comes to logic While you don't have perfect l...