Skip to main content

101st post

Wow, it's been many many years since i started this blog thingy. This same address that has never changed throughout the years. This blog is a little reflective of my own personal evolution. From the times of it's birth- when it's trendy to have blogs, and beautifully designed blogskins from blogskins.com.- Those were the times during my secondary school years, when all i had on my mind was fitting in, leading the pack, being cool and one of a kind. conflicting indeed- puberty years.
Then- the next era saw me venture to create my own blogskins. My own period of renaissance, when i tried to be a creator. when I (still) wanted to be special and more than the average kid. When i wanted very much to boast what i can do. Looking back: some of the designs were really not bad. reflective of my interests in anime and celebrities. More of anime actually. Some of the designs, really sucked though. But i distinctly remember being equally proud of all my "works". HAHA, picasso-wannabe times. That was when i was entering JC.
At the same time, i started writing more interesting narratives. (This is pretty much the only enduring feature that has come thus far with me). My love for exaggerative writings was expressed through all my posts. And i had but one aim- to entertain. I love the limelight. (Yes, i REALLY was that narcissistic.) Blogging was an enjoyable experience, because everytime i signed in to blog, i felt like i was (for the hour or so) dimming the lights on all the world, and putting the limelight only on myself. During that one hour or so, I was the lead. Today, I still enjoy exaggerative speech and writing. Probably because i find life too mundane, and always try to spice things up on my own part. i no longer am so narcissistic though. But that, being a self judgement, might be highly biased. HOHO. I no longer find the need to be the LEAD. In fact, the irony is that now, i very much would prefer to have a quieter life. Somebody- dim the lights please.
During those times when i stopped blogging- those were the times when work started to catch up. This is reflective of myself as the workaholic. I mean this in a bad sense. Because i do not like the way i go, when work is ahead of everybody else. When I neglect the intricacies of human relations, for the benefit of the greater good and bigger picture. Just like how i've decided to neglect my blog. (if you havent noticed, I write TO people. My blog is my link to the people i love- my relationship with the pillars of my life.) And now, I try to re-estalish that bond, which is proving to be extremely difficult.

Blogging. Ah-

----------------------------------------

Joshua sent me a copy of something that he wrote to class 95 to promote Homecoming. In the letter, he was asked to write about funny experiences from school days. Of all the interesting activities we had, Josh chose to talk about the most mundane of mundanes- Chatting. Not something i expected. But on hindsight, he was probably right in saying that it really was the most memorable thing from school life. I really do miss those times, and those people who made it happen. Sweet nostalgia.

-----------------------------
Today, life is catching up on me faster than i can keep up with. I dislike the way I'm trying to juggle PAC and rag commitments, and realise that I am doing both tasks equally badly. Really dislike it. I swear i won't chew off more than i can eat again. But i think this was what i said the last time as well. hai. Do people never learn? =.= Ok, just me then. =.= RARR all the way till 15 August! Tomorrow will be a better day!

sk

p/s: GP told me once, that blogging creates self centred teenagers. I disagreed. But now, I might have to agree. HAHAH, sorrys for that very self centred post!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Recluse

Once every so often, I like to withdraw into myself and shut out the world- whimsically. Just stop talking. No real reasons. Not really the first time. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps, this is a part of me that needs some getting used to. Perhaps, the people who knows me, knows this happens. Perhaps, the people who do, doesnt exist. Perhaps i'm wrong- Perhaps this is selfish. But once, just once, every so often- i'd like to claim my leave from social behaviors. Just once every so often, i'd like to disappear. Take the phone off the hook- for ages. -I'm sorry though, if my habits hurt. And i do so appreciate the concern too. But, like my daddy says: ourself knows best. sk

overwhelming

i woke up at 4am this morning without an alarm, thinking about all the work undone. realising it's the 12th, and that i'm meeting AC on the 19th to run through my presentation, which i haven't editted. thinking about needing to submit 12 more prescriptions by tomorrow, and i haven't done any. thinking about topics discussions that have't been fulfilled. thinking. thinking. thinking. but unable to drag myself outta bed; my body resisting to put itself through the tsunami of shit. grr. i shall shut both my eyes and trudge through it. Need to remind myself really, that work never stops. ever. Need to remind myself of who i am truly- that i exist without the work. i simply have to start living and breathing again. A random thought, you know how some sites like to ask you to key in some verification code before posting? I like the way blogger does it. "Please prove that you're not a robot." haha, but unfortunately, i think i am becoming one. ok. e

Limited time

We all have limited time on this Earth,  and a limited 24 hours in a day. What you choose to pack into that 24 hours, will decide what your life portrait will look like at the end of your road. (Yes, I think a lot about the end of the road nowadays.) I was just thinking to myself yesterday, if i applied the "rise of the guardian" concept to myself, what would my core be? I had wanted it to be love. I had thought that love shouldn't be limited. I had thought, that I would be able to dedicate a certain share of love to all the people in my life, who needed the care at the point in time when they do. I had thought, that my heart should be big enough to welcome as many people in as possible. Because ultimately, at the end of my road, I want to breath my last breath smiling, knowing that I have made a difference to people. I had thought that was possible, but i forgot that while my heart can be limitless, my time can't. In trying to be everybody's friend, I have fa