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the return of randomness.

HOHO! this place has been forsaken for quite a while hur?!

right! cpr attempt no. 1!

so! how has relief teaching for 2 months been? mm, enriching... in a way... tiring definitely. relief teaching isn't as easy as it seems i feel. at the very least, i managed to make something very clear for myself. I WILL NOT BE A TEACHER. no. unless it's an absolute desperate measure (which then brings me to pray all the very best for a decent a level results). not entirely because i don't enjoy the job. i do. i do think that the sense of fulfilment one gets in teaching, is probably unparalleled in other jobs. but the amount of *^*$^#-ness in exchange for that fulfilment, doesn't feel entirely worth the while. ie, i find myself &%#$^$#* rather than OSH! most of the time. so i would say, teaching is emotionally draining- for me that is. probably due to my manner of working. i have the habit of putting in too much of my expectations in the things i do. that just doesn't help me alot... especially when i'm slogging my guts out to prepare lessons, to be understanding to their situation, to alter the way i deliver so as to optimise their learning, only to be met with "yea. so what is it today?" and "can we go yet?" and "=.="""""" " expressions. and the very worst. tell me. who the hell sleeps in small group consultations?! right in front of me! WTH LA. TOTALLY.

i also realised how much i appreciate time i can spend with myself alone. interactions with people are pretty tiring. but the absence of certain ppl (ILIJOS05 WHERETH ARE U GUYS?!) has been most deeply felt.

i ALSO realised, that in working for that certain objective u r trying to achieve, effort and energy, channeled in the right direction, matters. it's like shitting. ever had the experience where u try ur utter best to MMM MMMM, but tears, sweat and wtv else (other thn shit) escapes ur system? yea. that's what i mean. channel the energy in the right direction man! (ok, =D i'll admit. wtv preceded this analogy was FARCE. my sole and only purpose in posting today, was to share with you this experience of mine. that's it =D just so u know that sk is still alive, kicking n gross =D CONSTIPATION SUCKS TO THE CORE MAN!)

next, so that i can PRETEND i'm not apathetic. JI LEADER ESCAPES. crap. the first thing that came to my mind was "oh man, what's gonna happen to his guard?". poor guy. i think this unfortunate happening is made all the worse, considering the fact that we are on our way up the international ladder- organising the youth olympics, the f1 race and so on. like i was asking my brother, do u think information from abroad is being censored? their opinion? no doubt, i agree in this point of time, pointing the finger is probably not helpful, but it happens doesn't it? people will be people. "this should never have happened. i'm sorry that it has."- it was a little sad to watch this.

in any case, our forces are out prowling the streets; measures are being taken to nab this guy. i've received an mms from the police, with mas selamat staring at me from my phone. saw him staring from the bus stop, saw the rousing of youths frm nj to get everyone alert to this staring man. now, we're left to stay vigilant, and pray that he is found soon. are you optimistic about the capture though? how about the possibilities of a guise, an accomplice, or the worrying prospect of the lack of vigilance? (i was slightly *raise eyebrows* when i saw the lady on tv saying sth like, "i think he'll be caught soon, i have faith in our forces")

i'll reserve my opinions for now.

(see, my gp brain has not entirely erroded away- yet.)

till next, take care!
sk

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