The little things in life. =)

tough love

2012-01-17T00:30:00.001+08:00

I think toughest sem yet is a huge understatement. No, really. (inner voice: it'smyfinalsemasastudentdammitwhycan't youletmeenjoy?!)

again i tell myself, if i get through this, i can get through anything. But with pre-reg coming up.... well.... it's hardly convincing. but it's gonna happen anyways, so no point thinking about it.

i feel tired just looking forward though. ohmygah.

keep marching on... keep marching on... keep marching on...

swim

2011-12-21T03:14:00.001+08:00

Again, i'll say i really love being in water. Love feeling the water rush over my body, watching the shine and shimmer of water's reflections off the wall, watching my shadow at the bottom of the pool, and watching the way the water breaks at my finger tips and create their own shadow. and if i may say, most of all, i like how graceful and fluid i feel in water, as compared to my usually klutzy style on land. ahh. i got my 2nd swimming intervention from a stranger today!! Today, the stranger made a trip specially and walked up to me, just to tell me that he wanted to compliment me for my breast stroke. It the absolute purest sports sense of the word. Can't say how much that meant to me! Nothing would suffice i think; i was over the clouds! =)) hahaha. It was immense for me, to receive that kind of praise. I'd say he knows i'm still learning, because i was still swimming in the shallow pool and he probably just wanted to encourage me to keep going. =) but nonetheless, that meant a lot.

NCC has been a tiring, dreary, rewarding and humbling experience all at the same time. But more than all other emotions, i believe i have learnt much more than what i'll gain in terms of grades and stuff. I'm not sure if i'll ever work in oncology, but this experience has definitely opened up my eyes to something real and different. Should i never return to work here, i think the lessons i have learnt here will already take me a long way- in life. More about that next time.

I just finished packing my bags for the trek tmr. Hope it'll be a fruitful trip! Not literally full of fruits la, (cus i thought of 孙悟空's花果山水帘洞!! when i typed that hahahhaha)

Alright, late night delirium, go away now. i'm turning in. GOODNIGHT everybody. =) I hope your tmr will be a great one- to whoever still reads this. =)

Love,
sk

p/s: CHRISTMAS IS COMING! =) my favouritest time of the year! woots!

Christmas

2011-11-28T22:01:00.001+08:00

Christmas has always been my favourite season; it's the songs, the atmosphere, the love and the overall mood of a 圆满 year. my only wish this christmas is to have a good christmas, as always, one where i can laugh and show my appreciations for the people who made my life so much more. Perhaps a good christmas dinner with the JC gang; home-cooked meal at josh's as we do every Christmas; catch up with where everyone is heading in life before they stray too far away from us. Please please please, that's all i'm asking for this year. Give me that little bit of time away from fyp for that, alright?

my favourite christmas song:think. a delightful listen, hundred times over: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=-QND5VyT_os#!

pessimism

2011-11-23T01:11:00.001+08:00

-can be so infectious. 12 hours before a paper isn't exactly a good time to have a long convo.

I get this feeling that somehow, my optimism must have been quite insulting to you. In fact, it might almost have been condescending- extending from the background concept that you held so tightly. If that was felt, i'm truly sorry. I didn't mean it. Like i said, i was only concerned about your happiness. Truly so. But you made a good point; i guess i can't gauge your happiness using my own standards. Or, i shouldn't gauge your life by my standards. (Cus happiness in life is my ideal, not everybody else's.)

Perhaps, I've really been too pampered.

But still, i'm sorry, as convincing and realistic as you were, i wish to live my own ideals. So no, i'm not going down with pessmism. I'm gonna fight this, for you.

2011-11-22T22:15:00.001+08:00

Sick of studying the same things again and again. Worried about FYP, dunno how i'm gonna die for that after exams. in need of a break! got nothing much to post, so i'll just share some snippets of things keeping me alive these past few dreary weeks. taken on my cui, highly ridiculed (haha) but also highly loved 2 megapix nokia phone that still smses using T9.

Life philosophy for now. fyp i'm sorry. PT i'm sorry.

Drawing much too much than i should. Liked this particular one alot though!

That very faint rainbow from the other day that appeared in the split minute when i was about to walk away from the window after admiring the brilliant orange sky at sunset. no amount of editing could fix this though.

what i see everyday at cck library. haha, beautiful landscape for a restless final year student trying to study. (with some editing, not too bad for a 2mp cam eh?)

memories of storyboarding of film. that's my drawing of my own caricature! haha, so cute! XD (Got only a B for the film. Can't say i'm surprised, but can't say i'm not disappointed either. still enjoyed the mod though! =))

Things to look forward to after exams!
-learn to use premiere pro,
-gonna work work work on my fyp,
-go climb a waterfall!
-TO THE ZOO!
-to visit the trail of clans
-monuments open house?
-and many many many more.

LIFE IS A VERB, live it.

for now, back to work.

sk

reflections

2011-11-14T03:40:00.001+08:00

there are just some films that are more lasting to rewatch, and some that become dreary on 2nd sitting. Movies like Money No Enough, were a joy to watch, and initially, i had though that it was jack neo's commendable effort in creating serious undertones in a light-hearted movie. but on 2nd watch, nah, i thought too much for him. he's just trying really hard to entertain.

This is just like ppl. But hopefully in life, we get more of the kinds of characters that can endure a 2nd, 3rd and many times over rewatching, and still be intriguing in the new interpretation they present each time.

Trudge. on.

2011-10-26T08:55:00.001+08:00

Look in the tunnel,
there's a speck of light within-
Don't give up this fight.

haiku- literally "hai, *哭*“. (laugh la, even if it's not funny haha.)

Singapore films

2011-10-24T04:58:00.001+08:00

Well, just finished the final cut on my film and the report is kinda done as well. All in place for submission tomorrow! Haha, finally done with this 30% project that was a heck of a joyride. =) i really enjoyed working on it together with my pretty awesome group mates, who came from such diverse backgrounds that it was interesting to simply watch the interaction in the group sometimes. Of all the mod chioces i've made in my 4 years, i must say this is really the best one.

i shan't talk too much about it for now, but i just wanted to say something before i forget. In this group, what was nice was that for a change, i could sometimes take a more active listening and observing role, as opposed to my usual talk too much to keep the spirit alive role in other groups. this was really a nice alternative, and served as a form of reminder of the times in my past, when i had sometimes assumed active listening roles, allowing me to observe and learn much more about people. haven't had this opportunity in a long time. but well, sometimes i guess you can't do everything.

Anyways, here's the film. hope you'll enjoy it (at least a bit la hor? XD)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=32gLVayIAQQ

sk

2011-10-21T07:59:00.000+08:00

holy shit. nonononoooo!!!! too slack!

--

2011-10-15T05:16:00.001+08:00

I know i shouldn't complain, it doesn't help anything, i know that. But i've done the things that i think should be done to solve the problem, so in terms of redirecting energy, i think there's no necessity for that right now, so let me just type.

In short, it was a good day gone bad. I guess i shouldn't have let my happiness float me away. shouldn't have agreed to a movie, shouldn't have neglected contacting the necessary people. Made jiahao upset/disappointed/worried (i don't know), inconvenienced him, and i'm really very sorry for that. then i had a mega quarrel with my brother over i) why i did not contact ii) why my phone was flat in the first place. ii) him contacting jiahao. my initial reaction when i guessed that he contacted jh was a little too exaggerated. perhaps it was my being flustered over film changes, and also that i just don't like my friends/boyfriend to be contacted to ask about me. i just, don't like it. They're not responsible for me. if i didn't contact, scold me when i get back, go ahead. but he is not my nanny. i understand you were being concerned. i appreciate it, but i just don't like troubling jh. so yes, my reaction was big. overreacted perhaps. I'm sorry for that. and that, marks the first mega quarrel we had in a long time. perhaps since entering uni.

severely annoyed with myself.

random

2011-10-02T00:23:00.003+08:00

I really like this new layout! =)) hopefully will have time to blog more ahaha.. my command of the language is so atrocious that writing the many reports for my fyp is becoming so painful. Even after the umpteenth time of editing, i still find it chui. CRAP. i better go brush up on my english.

Swim

2011-09-25T23:57:00.001+08:00

"For me, swimming, or just floating in water, feels like a drop of immortality. [...] I love swimming, the feel of the water swirling past my body, the different forces exerted on the palm of of my hand as i stroke through the water, the gentleness of being buoyant."

W. Hodding Carter

"Off the Deep End"

How apt, and how beautiful.

I couldn't have described it better, and i don't imagine this to be an experience unique to me or the author alone. I love swimming, too. I love the feeling of being in water. Like i always say, there is nothing else that makes me feel quite as alive as taking a breath in between strokes. Because only then, do i feel like i'm breathing, for real.

School's been so busy! =( and my recess week was spent being sick (the pity!). I'm so desperate to get back into water. =( i can feel the pool water lapping at my heart; beckoning.

Old posts

2011-09-24T10:32:00.001+08:00

=)) i used to be a much happier blogger really. hahahah.. 2 posts from the old days: =)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what the bloody hell u tell me, what the bloody hell omg!! ARGHHHH!!!!!!

LOL guess what happened man, i. just.dropped.my.phone.into.my.glass.of.water.

DOM.

just like that.

what the hell was i doing?!?!?! OMG!!!!! i duno whether to laugh or cry la!!!!!! *whacks forehead** now how? HOWWW??!?!?! aiyo!! WHO in the world voluntaroly throw their phone into their water? u tell me!! ARGHHHHH...

shit la, no phone AGAIN LOLOL! mei you yuan la totally...

i actually find it very funny- except for the cannot contact ppl bit. lol... sigh, i'll go do sth abt it...

sk

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss.

--langston hughes

love this poem. wahaha guess da title man!! =D shd b quite obvious...

The Negro Speaks of Rivers

I've known rivers:
I've known rivers ancient as the world and older than the
flow of human blood in human rivers
My soul has grown deep like the rivers.
I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young
I built my hut near the Congo and it lulled me to sleep.
I looked upon the Nile and raised the pyramids above it.
I heard the singing of the Mississippi when Abe Lincoln
went down to New Orleans, and I've seen its muddy
bosom turn all golden in the sunset
I've known rivers:
Ancient, dusky rivers.
My soul has grown deep like the rivers.

by Langston Hughes

wahaha... reading abit of poetry here and thr....=D quite fun realli... when you want sth to do...=D mmm...chk out langston hughes!! and emily dickinson!!

ALRYT!! haa...nad asked for a post...lol..ya...so i randomly put sth up...=D wahaha I FRIGGIN' ROCK AYE?! =D

now for da poem's title!!..

**drumroll**

suicide's note.

beautiful aye?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 rather different posts, but both reminding me of myself, once. when i could be high everyday, anytime. When i laughed easy, when everything is funny. =) When i enjoyed the simple pleasures of life such as reading a good poem.

Good old days.

Hello sk, where are you now?

sk

Facebook

2011-09-24T10:01:00.001+08:00

Sharing your life and the lack of privacy just got closer. Where does the line blur?

The new and upcoming facebook features disturbs me. If we recall, about a year or two ago, facebook was a budding social networking site that some vehemently protested against. Yet nowadays, it's hard to find somebody without a facebook account. all those protestors? -converted too. It was a "social networking" site that started out with the said purpose: to network. But now, networking has been brought to a whole new level of cyber stalking. The ticker box with its instant updates, and the upcoming timeline that is suppose to summarise your lifestory into a SINGLE webpage, all these new features on the popular networking site, disturbs me. But the even more disturbing thing is, i think these are features that people will come to embrace, in time. just like facebook did. While the initial rude shock of the change will probably trigger off some cognitive protest in each of us(because it clearly is WEIRD), in time, the convenience of the feature will take over and before you know it, you'll be using the new feature and not even thinking about it. Often times, it's these little "conveniences" that gets you started on something small, before leading you into something much bigger.

What happened to privacy? why is there a preoccupation to "share" your life and thoughts with the whole world? why is there a need to know what the whole world is doing at every second? What happened to the elegance of things better left unsaid?

The problem is that zuckerburg is probably much too smart for our good. The problem with facebook is that it plays up on the tiny flaws of human nature, and draws you in, because sins are tempting. Facebook plays on the inner busybody in each of us, feeds, expands it, and thus keeps us coming back. The problem with facebook is that it is so artfully designed to give you a good experience, that you don't even recognise it. People like it so much that it becomes a very natural and integral part of life, that nobody stops to ponder about where it is leading them. Why is there no "dislike" button after people rant and rave for it? surely they can hear the feedback, and surely, if we can think of it, they can too. Then why? Probably because it introduces an element of negativity that would decrease your enjoyment of the site. And they wouldn't want that. Because they want us to keep going back.

I don't like where this is going, and i sincerely hope that i am over-compliacting things once again. Maybe it's too early to say.

2011-09-19T20:57:00.002+08:00

what did i dooo?! why yew no like meeeeeeeeee?!!!

2011-09-01T22:43:00.000+08:00

alright, one step at a time. Things are piling up so fast that i'm not sure what's the next step to take. Not the busiest yet, but i can foresee i'll probably be gasping for air in awhile. OHMYGAH. the sheetz for slacking so much so far. =X

2011-07-16T02:07:00.000+08:00

not the best of nights.

2011-06-12T05:01:00.001+08:00

this is ridiculous. i cant believe how much time i'm wasting on you. goodness.

A much needed, incoherent rant.

2011-05-05T10:29:00.002+08:00

When things get sensationalised, i wonder, do we think before we react? I keep trying to be absolutely objective in making a decision. Then i realise, honestly, it's quite the impossible thing to do. You see, this thing called selective perception and selective attention is something that people fall to, almost everytime. And this is not an academic smoke piece. Considering things properly, people believe what they wish to believe, and once that thought catches on i guess pretty much anything can be twisted to suit your desired perception- whatever it is you want. Perhaps it's a natural cognitive process. It is just that much easier to have a stand and fit evidences to it, than to view evidences before making a stand.

I tried to exercise objectivity, and think from both sides, their individual merits and demerits, before making a stand. i tried to compare to politics in other countries, look back deep into our own history and others', look at real trends before i make a decision. Why? In part, it's my own pride wanting to execute better thinking than peers. (I'm a little ashamed to say that, and i can't deny it, nor do i wanna ignore it.) But in the larger part, i've never wanted to make a decision that i cannot retract. My friends will know this. This comes from my belief that there are always exceptions to watch for, that no one answer will ever suffice. It's not that i don't want to, but i simply can't make a decision without absolute conviction. So now, if i'm asked for this big decision, i feel like i only must go through these evaluations before i choose.

But i digress. Like i said, i tried to be objective and look at all corners before deciding. because i don't want to fall victim to selective perception. But well, i think i'm about to give up on that. It's starting to feel like a lost cause, like i'm going around in circles. It gave y brain such stress to consider everything in the course of research that i had a near nervous breakdown over the whirlpool of information and emotions flying around. Well, i brought it upon myself. So stupid really. But ya, i think that's not gonna work so i shall have to make a stand and go with it regardless.

Oh well. I tried, but i think my cognitive capacity is very very sadly, inadequate.

2011-05-03T19:26:00.000+08:00

Interesting scene this afternoon: nsp n pap publicity vans were at my estate at the same time, trying to out-loud each other with their calls for votes. Pity is, i can't discern a thing from either side. (And it disrupted my studying to a large extent.) I shudder to imagine if this happens in parliament. Whatever the results, i pray that our leaders will keep their heads clear with Singapore as their primary objective, and be rational in parliamentary debates (if ever). I don't think it takes a politician to realise that bickering to win is senseless and endless. At the end of the day, if this happens, it's the citizens who suffer. *points at the self pity card* Well. I look forward to the results!

2011-05-01T21:08:00.001+08:00

i think i need to stop comparing mmyself with others. Woman, you have your own needs. come on now, come away.

2011-04-29T04:05:00.002+08:00

It's been a mildly strenuous evening. Well, I'm unwittingly offending people without meaning to at all. I think i need to shut up, but i need to vent a little.. well. To everyone i offended today, i don't know you, and i don't think you know me either. I didn't knowingly mean to offend/make mistakes that offend you. So please accept my sincere and humble apology. And perhaps stop walking around in my brain so it can rest. :)
Apart from that, it's been a strenuous evening of debates at home. Not sure of what to say, but i think i shall say none for now.
Perhaps im too arrogant in my beliefs of the right or wrong. Perhaps im just too plain arrogant in the closet. Perhaps it's a good time for some revaluation n change.
Not the best evening I've had. Oh well, it's gonna be a new day tMr! Sk, learn to learn n move on bah.

From me, to me.

Goodnight world..

unrest

2011-03-02T22:26:00.002+08:00

If the world does come to an end, it might be man against man. Seems like we're doing a good job destroying ourselves without intervention. If i'm an alien watching us from up above, i might laugh at just how smooth my kill-Earthlings-and-take-over-Earth!! plan is going without me lifting a finger.

Pakistan, Libya, terrorists, etc- stop killing people already, please. the fact that this phrase would have been so taboo to me in the past, but is just rolling off my fingers right now, disturbs me. *sigh* what's the world coming to?

I'm really bad with titles.

2011-02-28T05:26:00.002+08:00

Random thoughts distracting me from studying. Friendship can be such a fragile thing. I never really did subscribe to the ideals that real friends contact each other most every other day. Perhaps it's ili and jo, but with my really close friends, we are close, regardless of contact. And i know we'll always stay that way. Perhaps i'm too emotionally isolated. But now, i find myself rethinking this habit of mine. well, recently i've been confronted again and again with changing group dynamics, changing relationships and sentiments, and undercurrents amongst a few of my closest friends. How shall i put this; the constants that i held on to in the past don't seem so constant anymore. That drives me a little mad. Having undercurrents left unsaid within a group- that drives me mad too. Slowly, i begin to identify individuals with their individuality rising up and above the cliques. Slowly i begin to realise that, perhaps they have found greener pastures elsewhere, other friends that they would rather treasure. Slowly, i begin to realise that not everyone reciprocates the level of importance that i feel about a particular group of friends. Slowly, i start to feel them grow distant and far away from the clique. That makes me sad, especially when that someone happens to be one I felt especially close and like minded to.

I really do hope this is transient.

Back to books now.

oh, but before i go, let me just say, I think i may have too much on my plate. Not all of which has been willingly loaded by me, but they are there nonetheless. *struggles for better time management*. Haa, and oh, let me also say, i think i complain wayyyyyy too much these days to be healthy. i annoy myself with my incessant grumblings! shut. up. sk. O.O

2011-01-05T13:08:00.002+08:00

after all these years, the one thing i cannot stand is still obnoxiousness. it's like... a fly. just gotta live with it.

.

2010-11-22T21:42:00.001+08:00

dislike seeing an emo post. be gone!

med chem sucked. i hope patho pharmaco will b good.. fingers crossed!

Just because..

2010-11-21T23:43:00.002+08:00

just because society has turned cold, doesn't mean i will.

just because friendships may be a thing of practicality now, doesn't mean it will be that to me.

i shall believe, that there are exceptions.

i shall believe, that maybe, it just takes a bit longer for a true bond to be formed for others.

i shall believe, that people can be moved; that ice can be melted. (global warming dammit)

i shall believe in this.

and i will continue to believe in friendship, brotherhood and the communal spirit.

i will believe.

2010-11-19T19:24:00.001+08:00

life can do with a little bit of sunshine right now. hmm. n no, i'm not talking about exams.

that- i shant even embark on.

The media

2010-11-06T09:35:00.002+08:00

I don't quite enjoy the style of media nowadays in Singapore. Media is starting to feel a tad too "entertainment" now with the rising of citizen journalism in the form of stomp and xin.msn. I don't enjoy the way that news get spun up into a huge story which captivates people for a few days, or maybe weeks, and then have everyone on to yet another piece of enthralling news. This i observed since the times of Mas Selamat, which was yet another sensational news that tided over and everyone forgot about. I hope that the news gets forgotten, but not the lesson though.

Now, don't get me mistaken; reading the news is not wrong. But the style of journalism nowadays seem to go along the lines of feeding public interests, and solely that. Having the media start to stray away from the actual news and enter into the lives of the people involved to use them as news, in a bid to captivate readers' attention- that, i think is wrong. And with more and more empowerment of the individual's ability to air their views in public, i see a trend of people passing open judgements on the people involved. That, i think, is wrong too.

I was telling Jiahao yesterday that i was adamant not to discuss the teen slashing with people, because i don't wish to feed the media anymore. I think there is a certain limit where the media should be going with their reports, and i think they are crossing it. Reporting on the lives of the teens involved, reporting on the notoriety (pardon me for lack of a better word haha =D) of the gang and the "good" of the boy is directly influencing reader opinions. And anyways, why does anybody think that we are in a position to pass judgements? How sure are we that the media is reporting the whole truth such that our judgements based on what is seen, is sound?

it's been a week since the news came out. And i happened to see this ranking on the news website that i always read.

Speak to be understood; Listen to understand.

2010-10-07T19:37:00.002+08:00

Speak to be understood.

This is my random thought of the day. I've been doing a little bit of reading and writing for a project that i am due to submit tomorrow. (something that i ought to be working on right now, instead of blogging haha. But this is a quickie i swear.) I realise that many people have the tendency to write in long, complicated sentences which are strings of clause after clause after clause. Long, convoluted sentences that wraps itself around your brain and clench real hard, before you can make any head or tail out of it. And after you are done with that, you're on to yet another one. I got reminded of this a couple of days ago, when i read an interview by Mr Lee about his wife's influence on him. She says that we should write in clear concise sentences. I agree. But i think that long-winded sentences are simply a reflection of our incessantly firing neurons, that we are sometimes too lazy to curb and correct. The next time you write, ask yourself: "what am i writing for?". Whatever your cause, I am sure you will need somebody to understand you before you can get there. So yes, understand that you need to be understood, and make yourself understandable. Write simple sentences; choose your words wisely; don't be too generous with your words. I will appreciate it in future if i have to decipher your work to do mine. =)

(yes you are right. i am just skiving and complaining about having to read looong paragraphs of writings.- complaining in a more elaborate fashion. HAHA. BACK TO WORK!)

2010-09-15T21:59:00.000+08:00

oh yes! i forgot, i wanted to share this for www.paulocoelhoblog.com.

Character of the week: Chaplin

Published on September 10, 2010 in Character of the Week. 42 Comments Print

210Share

A day without laughter is a day wasted. Despair is a narcotic: it lulls the mind into indifference.

I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it has fulfilled its purpose.

Life could be wonderful if people would leave you alone. Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.

I thought I would dress in baggy pants, big shoes, a cane and a derby hat. everything a contradiction: the pants baggy, the coat tight, the hat small and the shoes large. I had no idea of the character. But the moment I was dressed, the clothes and the make-up made me feel the person he was. I began to know him, and by the time I walked onto the stage he was fully born.

I suppose that’s one of the ironies of life doing the wrong thing at the right moment. What do you want a meaning for? Life is a desire, not a meaning

I am at peace with God. My conflict is with Man. That´s the trouble with the world: we all despise ourselves

In the end, everything is a gag.

Charles Spencer “Charlie” Chaplin, KBE (16 April 1889 – 25 December 1977) was an English comic actor and film director of the silent film era

update!

2010-09-15T21:34:00.004+08:00

Hohoho, it's been awhile since i updated! haha, been pleasantly occupied Nowadays. =)

*breaks into a song* It's good, isn't it? Grand, isn't it? Great, isn't it? Swell, isn't it? Fun, isn't it? Nowadays~ =) *cough:CHICAGOMG!*

SO! if you had to sum up 2010 thus far in a word, what would it be? Hmm, i'd say dramatic and (now) peaceful. (i can't count! =)) Hmm, it's another rollercoaster year this year. Not entirely in a bad sense i guess, i think i will finally have things to talk about in my end of year review! =)

haha, but i'll save that for then! for today, i just thought i'd give a public thanks (despite the fact that my blog's public is probably not more than a handful) to this very nice lady who decided to give me a lift after seeing that i was DRENCHED in the rain this morning, waiting for the green man at the traffic junction, with my bag on my head as a feeble shelter. =) THANK YOU. =) I don't know you, but today you reminded me of myself from a while back. When i highly believed in looking out for my fellow human beings, and lending a hand whenever possible. I believe in paying it forward, you know? =) It was a very pleasant reminder, so thank you. And to whoever may be reading this, remember that YOU can be the start of a loooong chain of paying it forward. It really does happen! =) Whether or not you see it.

Alright, that's all! i'm gonna scoot to study before naggychanjiahao nags at me to stop facebookingtweetingplayingsmsingblogging and start studying! =D (hahha, i know you never said that lilst, but hey! =) i can already predict that you will one day. come on.. i know you too well yes? =))

ciao guys! =) take care!

2010-08-25T18:31:00.002+08:00

School has started for about 2 weeks and i'm tremendously behind time with all the lessons missed due to yog. This is worrying. But nonetheless, i view this semester with a little more confidence than the past one. Screw this, i'm gonna OWN! hahha, alright i'm just saying to psych myself up. =) But yes, i took the effort over the past couple of weeks to clear out some of the junk that has been accumulating since i graduated from JC. Almost as though it was done on purpose, these uncleared junk are the perfect parallelism to how i have given up the reigns over my own life for the past 2-3 years. Well, something's about to change.

Enough of self-psyching, self-centered talk. =)

the mega event of the recent past is probably YOG. As we can all see, there is a huge hoo hah about this event. It's not exactly a huge part of my life, but it has indeed given me a fresh experience. The organisation of the competition over at my event, leaves much much more to be desired for. This time, i sincerely hope that feedback forms are read, because i wrote them an essay hahahha.. Yup, but i shall hold my comments now. Patriotism in the house yo! And yes, to be fair, they have done some things very well too. So i guess, YOG is passable success. I speak for my venue alone though.

On another note, I've been hooked to Glee during the holidays! =D So my main purpose in coming here today, is to share this little bit of inspiration with anybody who still reads the blog. =) If i'm not mistaken, this is a song from the West Side Story. (i really wanna watch it one day! hmm.) So yea, enjoy it! =) I'd like to try defying my own gravity one day- If you can understand me hahaha..

Defying Gravity

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try Defying gravity
I think I'll try Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost

Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try Defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

Recluse

2010-07-20T23:07:00.003+08:00

Once every so often, I like to withdraw into myself and shut out the world- whimsically. Just stop talking. No real reasons. Not really the first time.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps, this is a part of me that needs some getting used to.

Perhaps, the people who knows me, knows this happens.

Perhaps, the people who do, doesnt exist.

Perhaps i'm wrong-

Perhaps this is selfish.

But once, just once, every so often- i'd like to claim my leave from social behaviors.

Just once every so often, i'd like to disappear. Take the phone off the hook- for ages.

-I'm sorry though, if my habits hurt.

And i do so appreciate the concern too.

But, like my daddy says: ourself knows best.

End of exams.

2010-05-06T01:53:00.004+08:00

i don't feel much about the end of exams actually-

i guess that is a signal that perhaps i didn't work hard enough and build up the hunger for relaxation while mugging, hence i don't feel the surge of relief. Ah- i miss that feeling much actually. next sem will be a better sem. YES IT WILL BE.

--------------------------

Preceptorship will commence on the coming Monday. I am rather excited about it, and I look forward to a time of learning and actually applying the knowledge that i have learnt in school. I believe if you ever meet a pharmer undergrad, you will hear the same unanimous complain about how there doesn't seem to be a meaning in doing what we are doing. How it feels like we are simply dead memorising the cold, hard, facts. How we all disagree with the system and feel that university education should be about thinking- and how it's been a long time since we last did more of that. For me, the curriculum has honestly entrenched certain doubts in this career path that i have chosen. But no, I haven't given up all hopes on this line yet. Hence, i hope that this preceptorship will shed some motivation and light on what we are all working so hard for.

Random thought: it will surprise you, the things you can do when you know what you are fighting for.

----

i just had an intense mental battle with myself over the random following:

*recalling an early conversation about not wasting food*

*mentally enacts self, nagging that we shouldn't waste food*

me: "just think about all the starving children in Ethiopia"

me: "Ethiopia~ hmm, well said. but it's not like this food will be flown to Ethiopia after this."

(i just realise how flawed the above line is)

me: "no it won't... but i brought up the example to show that we must not waste food for the simple fact that we should honour the importance of food."get food.

me: "The main problem why Ethiopia is not getting food, is because they do not have access to these. it's because of their mindset. Hououring the sanctity of food wont help.

im typing rubbish!

complete later. =.=

Qing Ming Jie

2010-03-26T09:06:00.008+08:00

I just got home from the cemetery. It’s been perhaps 2 years since I last went sao mooing with my parents. The feelings about the trip are unchanged though. In the cemetery in the mornings, I always find a sense of calm and serenity. It’s really really beautiful in the morning during the drive over, when we pass the stretches of grassland, covered in a thin layer of mystiquey mist. With the rising sun illuminating the landscape, refracted in the water droplets hovering in the air, every thing looks so so nice. =)

This year, quite a few people went to sao mu from my daddy’s side of the family. To my surprise, my grandmother went too. Note: she can hardly walk/stand/sit without pain (she told me one ok, not i exaggerate!).So yes, i was rather surprised to see her there. I like to hang out with my ah ma, even though i can’t really speak fluent hokkien. And sometimes i don’t understand the things she say. But i still like to hang out with her! =D while the rest of my uncles and aunties and cousins were talking while burning the incense paper, i took the opportunity to talk to my ah ma for a bit. She was standing in front of my ah gong’s grave cus she said that way, she has a place to lean against. Then we tried to strike up a conversation with each other lol.. one duck one chicken talking, my dad would always say. =D there was one episode that left an impression on me though. I asked her a qn, but she didn’t hear me. She was- it seemed- stoning. I decided to let her stone for awhile, and then i asked her the same qn again. But then, she didn’t hear me again. after a while though, she started to talk-- to my ah gong. I felt like i was intruding, like, dian deng pao u know? Haa..

Yup, so that was sao mu for this morning.. oo oo, i didn’t manage to get a picture, but 2 very cute puppies (the mongrel kind with long excited tails) came over to play! =D SO ADORABLE! =DDDD i call them xiao huang and xiao hei! =DDD hahahha...

And i got to sit at the back of the lorry when we were coming home! WHEEEE! =DD shiokness! =D haa, pretty good way to start a day. NICE.

picture time!

xiao huang! =)) hahahaha

the rising sun

the sun again, awhile later.

on the lorry, on my way home

my favourite flower in my favourite colour (thank you. =))

Time to resume work!

2010-03-25T19:40:00.002+08:00

Confused. is perhaps the wrong word.

--------

clear headed and clear hearted. but where responsibilities meet emotions- tough.

jabby

2010-03-18T03:23:00.004+08:00

i feel like the jabber wocky from alice in the wonderland with that name.

It's 3:24am in the morning. i just got woken up from my sleep.. Well, yesterday was the test for Pharm practice. The test went alright; a little disappointed in the soap section because i didnt catch something that lilian said in class (hence did not include it in my soap. marks marks precious marks.).

Had a rather eventful after-test though. =) Had ajisen and very unexpectedly caught this movie named "up in the air", which i really really enjoyed! I really do recommend that movie! =D Pity i dont hear much hype and buzz about it. i guess it's because the media is occluded with rubbish scandals EVERYDAY nowadays. Urgh, my eyes. (note to edwin: i think this is where your low information diet comes in handy). But yes, i digress- back to the movie. I really did enjoy the movie. And me being me, i actually enjoyed it more than i did for Alice in Wonderland. I guess the company played a part in this preference too though. But anyhows, it's a good movie to catch if you are in the mood for good old british style drama. (Think About a boy, Chocolate, Love actually etc. ) The movie revolves around this guy called ryan bingham (George clooney dammit!), whose works both as a motivational speaker, and as the guy who comes around to your company to fire you, "when your boss doesnt have enough balls to do it". Yes, that's pretty much what his company does. If my memory doesnt fail me, clooney described it as a job where he helps to tide/ferry people over a difficult time, and show them some hope where there is none. "and when they are near to the bank, dunk them in the water and make them swim." (i LOLed at that!) i wouldn't talk too much about the plot though, because that in itself is nothing majorly majorly spectacular. It's a very everyday-life kind of movie. Very very very similar to about a boy actually. The beauty of the movie comes in the well crafted dialogues and witty speeches between the characters on screen. Fantastic chemistry. Oh and also the ideas that they put into my head and got me thinking- read on. Beware of shocking scenes near the start of the movie though. (think scantily clothed lady IF ur definition of scanty= butt revealing). But all in all, it's a movie i would recommend. =) go catch it!

Like i was saying, the movie really did put some ideas into my head. 2 points i would talk about:

1) Ryan Bingham is this motivational speaker. He has a standard speech in the movie. "Now, I want you to imagine yourself carrying a backpack. feel the straps of it on you. Now, I want you to put in.... etc etc etc" The things he put into his backpack included items and people. Then he asked, "Now, i want you to try and take a few steps. Move around.". And when you know and agree with him that you can't move, he tells you "Make no mistake, in our world, to live is to keep moving". And finally, he tells you to set fire to all those things in your MEGA backpack. Typical typical motivational speaker. Typical but still true. What kind of baggage have you been carrying around with you on a daily basis?

2) As i said, Ryan goes around firing people. So of course, we got to witness many scenes of him firing various people, and how he consoles them and helps them to move on. In one of my particular favourite firing scene, he asked this father of two 'why do you think kids admires sports stars?" His answer: "Because they follow their dreams." And then he goes on to give that man a shock therapy and said "your kids don't admire you." shocking. But somehow he manages to turn it around, and make the man think that this unemployment is in fact, his chance at rebirth. AH- what say you to that? I believe i can do with some of that rubbish coaching right now though. =D

Right, enough about the movie. Please understand that it's in the middle of the night and thoughts are flying through my head disorganised. Hence as a result, they are pouring out of my fingertips disorganised too. Sorry for the incoherence! =D But yes, i should get back to sleep.

change. and other random thoughts.

2010-03-14T11:48:00.005+08:00

it's been a hectic few weeks. It is so very easy to lose track of time when work is piling up in a never ending stream. However, complain as i may, i do somewhat enjoy the bumble bee life that i am currently leading. There is always that odd sort of masochistic fulfillment that you get, when you finish an assignment, a lap report or a test after nights of night sleeping.

i like. =D

I have been leading the past few weeks of my life, very differently from the way i used to live them. In particular, i have been leading the past few weeks of my life differently from the way i lived them for the past 2 years. Go figure. Something has changed. Hmm, I am afraid to face up to the change actually; i'm unsure of where this current state of life is going to lead me. It's an apprehensive feeling- like stepping into the dark. There is a constant nagging worry at the back of my head, but i'm enjoying each new surprise so much that it is enough for me to ignore that voice. But no, i'm not turning emo over this. =D i just need some alone time, to think and sort things out with myself rationally, rather than emotionally.

Somebody asked me "what is the colour of jealousy?". i said "colourless" but i never really got to explain why. it's because jealousy blinds you. Good point to note and take home (so othello!).

Edwin's blog is one of my constant reads. It's very interesting to watch how he manges his life, because, he is one of those people i will label, as "people who took the road less travelled". And in all honesty, he is probably the only one who really deserves that label. =D keep going ed! =D I hope you'll succeed in all your ventures and endeavours. many cheers to you and your guts! I'll quote alice in wonderland "Yes, unfortunately you are (mad). Completely bonkers. But let me tell you a secret- all the best people are."

i recently bought 2 new books- "the tipping point" by malcolm gladwell, and "lovely bones" by ... somebody. (HAHAHA) Am starting on the fiction one first! =D I've almost forgotten how enjoyable it is to read, and lose yourself in the fictitious world buried between the pages of your book.

I am really glad that I finally can swim. =D haa, i really love swimming! I like the feeling of water rushing against your skin. it's like having a cool breeze sweep over you- except, you can control the "wind" in the water. i love the nice cool feeling of water against skin. i like it that in the water, you don't hear a thing. i love the way i come up gasping for air after a few laps in the pool. i love the way swimming helps to clear all the clutter from my head; in the water, i focus on the strokes, on breathing, and for the time in the pool i can forget about everything else. And when i surface from the pool, i can think more clearly. in essence, i really love swimming. =D

i am disgusted with the state of my body. =D (this reminds me of ili. LOL, during one of those days when i was feeling down and pissed off, she sent me a very random "i feel abit fat. free to gym?" and put a smile on my face immediately. thanks dude. =D) so yes, i'm finally starting to gym and jog and swim regularly. =D i have a personal goal: to take part in a full marathon before i graduate from nus. =)

Somebody asked me before, why im always sneaking peeks at people when im outside. That got me thinking a bit. I don't know. But i do know, that if you observe hard enough, everyday around you, many good things are happening. I think it's important that once every so often, we need to take a good look at life, and realise that there are many small things in life that makes it great. Look at the babies, full of life. couples- of love. students- able to go to school. groups of secondary kids- friends and joy (because i always get reminded of my own times in bpghs =D). Many many many more. One day, when you are feeling stressed up and unhappy, promise that you will try to focus on looking at life, and find these small things that makes life great. And cheer yourself up from there. Because life is worth living. =)

ok, i think this shall conclude my very random post of thoughts running through my mind. =D till next time!

photographs

2010-02-23T22:10:00.004+08:00

Ok, i have 15mins. CNY this year was very special to me in so many ways, i can never do it justice if i attempt to describe it.

-So i won't. (What lazy?! =D)

I will, however, pick on one particular episode to speak about here:

This CNY, i paid a visit to jenny's granddad, with him as well of course. Throughout the visit, it was very evident that jenny's ah gong was an aging man; his memory and vision were both very quickly deteriorating. Despite this, there is still one thing within him that never faded, and that is his love for his wife, who unfortunately left us a few years ago. Whoever coined the term "time can heal all wounds" should really meet jenny's ah gong right now and be prepared to feast on those words. Years have past, but jenny's ah gong continues to talk about how she has suffered so much with him when they were younger; how very sad he was when she died, and how he cried so badly over her passing. When jenny asked him "Ah gong, are you happy that so many grandchildren and children came to visit you today?" He plainly replied "No la. Ah ma is not here anymore, how to be happy?" No, it wasn't attention seeking behavior. On that day too, he showed me many pictures of him and her, and many of their children when they were much younger. For a frugal man, he was willing to pay for a camera in those difficult times, and was willing to take great efforts to keep photographic documentation of the ages that have passed. That says a lot about what memories mean to him, doesn't it? I don't really know what to say about the pictures, except that I was deeply moved by the depth of life captured in the simplicity of the images. The photographs were very simple, black and white. with no fancy focus or camera tricks. just a straight forward aim and shoot. But, they surpass many of the nicely tuned up photos that i have ever seen. "Beautiful" is how i think i should rightfully describe it.

After that day though, I found myself a new hobby. (Surprise!) I found my old camera; the kind with no flash, no need for batteries, and the kind that you have to wind up every time you want to take a shot. I found some film still within it and sent them for developing. (i think the film roll was from 6 years ago. i forgot what they featured. =S but i'm excited to find out!) Then, i bought some new old-school film rolls. And i'm all set to capture life and all its emotions in that little box of a camera- no frills attached. =)

haa, i should so be studying right now! overshot by 15 mins! omg!

Sherlock Holmes

2010-01-04T17:31:00.002+08:00

Well, 2009 reflection can wait, let's confront the matter at hand first. SHERLOCK HOLMES IS SUPREME.

omg.

I have been wanting to watch this movie since it came out in the cinemas! So this morning, i hopped out of bed and checked out the movie's show time first thing in the morning! Yes! Before i even peeed! =D Then VOILA! I was in the cinema half an hour later to catch the show! =D I deliberately chose a seat in the centre of the first unoccupied row counting from the back of the cinema. =) WOOSH! Good experience! It felt like i had the cinema all to myself! =))

At first glimpse of the poster, i guess anyone with a little background of the story will be taken aback by how different the characters look from their traditional outline. I was too, initially. However, if you had a little more background in this story- if you read the books- you will realise that this movie is perhaps one of the most accurate portrayal of Holmes and Watsons. You really have to read the books yourself to see. =) That disheveled, can't-care-for-nothing-in-the-world yet a little childish attitude is truly what typifies Holmes in the book. =) i LOVED it so much! =) Robert Downey Jr. and Jude law did a pretty good job carving out their very own class of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. The set and filming of this movie is also very well done. It is indeed old London through and through. Another thing- Rachel McAdams was a stunningly HOT Irene Adler too! very hot. =D *swooooons* Though the portrayal of Irene Adler here is a little different from that in the book, I am definitely not complaining because it really added that little bit more spice to the movie! =)

Some bad points about this movie: It is a little too fast paced. I have only recently decided to download the ebook of sherlock holmes into my ipod to read. If not because of that, I believe i would have been lost in many parts of the story. I suggest you do the same to get a general feel of the story before hitting the cinemas. Also, Holmes seemed a little too clingy to Watson in the show- one thing that was perhaps overdone in the show. LOL to gayness. I mean, he was on an all out campaign to stop his best friend from getting married! what was that about? So ya- GAY.

Alright, I believe I have ranted enough about this movie. I hope you can go watch it too! =) I don't think you will regret!

----

Our part to play.-

On Christmas day (or was it New year's day? =S I don't remember), Channel 5 was showing the concert held in celebration of President Barack Obama's winning of the Nobel Prize. There has been a lot of celebrations and criticisms about his winning of this award. Some say that he is well deserving, some say he is not deserving at all. I say that I don't know enough about Barack Obama, and the things that he has and has not done. So, I firmly believe that I am not in any position to make a conclusion about whether or not he is deserving. And this is what i believe for many of the commentors as well. Perhaps we should learn not to make such hasty decisions. But anyway, my purpose in talking about this is not to discuss the decision, rather, i hope to discus his speech. No matter what is your stand about Barack Obama, you have got to admit, the speech he made was great! Here's my favourite part:

Somewhere today, in the here and now, in the world as it is, a soldier sees he's outgunned, but stands firm to keep the peace. Somewhere today, in this world, a young protestor awaits the brutality of her government, but has the courage to march on. Somewhere today, a mother facing punishing poverty still takes the time to teach her child, scrapes together what few coins she has to send that child to school -- because she believes that a cruel world still has a place for that child's dreams.

Let us live by their example. We can acknowledge that oppression will always be with us, and still strive for justice. We can admit the intractability of depravation, and still strive for dignity. Clear-eyed, we can understand that there will be war, and still strive for peace. We can do that -- for that is the story of human progress; that's the hope of all the world; and at this moment of challenge, that must be our work here on Earth.

http://swampland.blogs.time.com/2009/12/10/barack-obamas-nobel-prize-speech-transcript/

Do take a read! =)

--------------------------------------

Anyways, I hope 2010 has been good to everyone so far! =) I had a very blessed and Love-filled Christmas. And i am not talking about romantic love. =) To the NP gang, my family, the study group dudes, s05, uni clique and the few ppl i got to talk to from 4t1, all of you made the conclusion of 2009 a very special and heartwarming one for me. =) LOVE ALL! =D Have a good 2010 ahead!!

Love,

=)

2009-11-01T16:24:00.003+08:00

Am taking a break from mugging.

Just in case i forget, let me record down 2 very heartwarming and adoring incidents yesterday. =)

1) It was yet another day on the semi-peak hour train back home. Everything was exactly the way they should be: no seats, people redefining grab poles as lean poles, semi-clubbing kind of crowdedness that makes me wanna whip out my fone and play a song, hoping to see everyone bounce to the music. (Now, that would really be a sight wouldn't it? =D). So yes, a typical journey back home. However, there was something atypical about this situation. Or rather, there was an atypical character present at this situation. there was- a toddler boy. Correction: there was-a very adorable- toddler boy with his family. (now that i am recalling this, i must say, shame on the Singaporeans who didnt have enough initiative to give up their seats to this family. the 1st thing i heard when i got on the train, was this: "no no no no no~". lol, that was the boy's answer to everything.

Father: "__ (forgot his name), come hold on to the pole.."

boy: (sings) nononononono

father: come sit here in the pram

boy: (sings) nononononono

-boy goes to somebody on the train and started playing with their suitcase. the suitcase had cats printed on it.-

Father: Cats!

boy: (sings) nononononono!

LOL. As the train rocked its way to jurong east, the brave little toddler stumbled and tumbled his way around the train cabin. Until, he came over to my side of the cabin. The train shook at that very moment, and the boy fell. in front of me. But no, he didn't cry. =D so i helped him up, and handed him back to his father. and guess what happened next?

(reader's discretion is advised. the following paragraphs may throw u into fits.)

The boy turned back and smiled at me. (SO CUTE.) then, he struggled free from his daddy's hands, and promptly proceeded to walk towards me. BUT, before he got to me, he sat down. right in the middle of the cabin. And- stretched out his hand towards me. HAHAHAHA. so i picked him up and he promptly struggled free and found another corner, where he sat down, and stretched out his hands towards me- again! =D lol. CUTE RIGHT! =D

That boy made me laugh so hard. =D

heartwarming incident 2:

SEOW KEN HAS AN IPOD TOUCH NOW! =))) thanks to jenny dar! =) We had an extremely long phone conversation last night. It warms my heart that time flies so fast when we're spending time together. =) I'm very happy to say that after almost 2 years of being in a relationship, our spark hasn't diminished a bit, and is in fact evolving into a- FOREST FIRE. AHAH. exaggerated much. =) but yes. Looking back on the past 1 year and 8 months, i can see that both of us have grown and changed. like jenny said last night, we both learnt to "accomodate" to each other's differences. yes, we still quarrel. but nothing so big to be worth remembering. How do i put this across.. We are a pair that doesn't go out much. We spend a substantial amount of time studying tgt. We don't go to movies. We also spend a lot of time eating and talking on the phone. Everything about us seems, so ordinary. And this is exactly what i like about our relationship.

simplicity.

(my english suck really bad omg.)

haa, ok, enough mushy business. I just want to take this chance to say thanks to Jenny for being in my life. You've made me a better person. i grew to know that what i believe in, only represents a very small minority of the population- same goes for everyone- and that sometimes, differences do not need to be ironed out. Sometimes, there are no reasons for things happening. sometimes there are no reasons for arguments and bad temper. So at the end of the day, we all need to learn to focus on the bigger picture, and let go of the minute details. I would say, that being able to truly let go of unhappiness and not find somebody to blame, is a fine art to be mastered over a long time.

Thanks jenny. =)

p/s: ilu.

pp/s: In my everyday life, there are some staple people i never fail to think about. (though thoughts do not always translate into actions). today, i wanna say something to a very special person in my life. Jo- i wanna let you know that you're in my thoughts everyday. Remember that everything will work out fine, no matter how bad situations seem to be. stay hopeful! remember that you're a fine young lady, so don't let anyone convince you otherwise. =) iloveyou for all the efforts you make to maintain our friendship. and iloveyou for being you! =) *hugs* hang in there girl!

pp/s: this was too long a study break. dammit. =.=

life

2009-10-22T01:32:00.002+08:00

sucks. really bad. (i would click "strikethrough" here if i could. just to appear like a teenage emo,like i wanted to when i keyed in www.blogger.com instead of atomic absorption spectrometry. -but i can't. =/)

I'm in the midst of completing a lab report that is due tmr.. and i am in dire need of a brain break. so, here i am. School has just redefined the term draining. The trail of assignments, reports, projects, and tests run as long as the Nile river does flow. And my brain is stretched as thin as keira knightley can get. I shan't even begin to list out the schedule for the upcoming few weeks, it's oddly demoralising. Sometimes, we meet with a setback in life that shows us just how small we are. Sometimes, these setbacks are the things that opens your eyes to your own shortcomings, and brings you out of the small shrouded Nirvana of yours, -or mine for that matter. I am seriously lagging behind the standard of the class. i can hardly answer my assignment questions. and for once, I find myself smoking through most of my assignment question without barely understanding 2/3s of what i say. when it's all laid out on the table, i am a bad bad bad student, with an immense load to catch up on, but not enough time to actually do it. when it's all laid out on the table, my cap seems like it's going to bore it's way through the table top, the flooring, right down to the bottomless basement in the arena of caps. How now brown cow? What are you going to do?

i need a plan.

i need to devise a strategy to get me out of this rut that i bulldozed and lodged myself in.

i need motivation and inspiration.

and yes, these things are going to come from me. i am going to give birth to some, right now!

time will be made, assignments will be completed without a hitch, tests will be overcome, revision will get started and roaring, the finals are going to come and go like an enjoyable summer breeze. i am going to excel!

GANBATTE!

signing off,
Ms- Notsosmallinthefaceofadversity-BIG. =)

101st post

2009-07-24T01:40:00.002+08:00

Wow, it's been many many years since i started this blog thingy. This same address that has never changed throughout the years. This blog is a little reflective of my own personal evolution. From the times of it's birth- when it's trendy to have blogs, and beautifully designed blogskins from blogskins.com.- Those were the times during my secondary school years, when all i had on my mind was fitting in, leading the pack, being cool and one of a kind. conflicting indeed- puberty years.
Then- the next era saw me venture to create my own blogskins. My own period of renaissance, when i tried to be a creator. when I (still) wanted to be special and more than the average kid. When i wanted very much to boast what i can do. Looking back: some of the designs were really not bad. reflective of my interests in anime and celebrities. More of anime actually. Some of the designs, really sucked though. But i distinctly remember being equally proud of all my "works". HAHA, picasso-wannabe times. That was when i was entering JC.
At the same time, i started writing more interesting narratives. (This is pretty much the only enduring feature that has come thus far with me). My love for exaggerative writings was expressed through all my posts. And i had but one aim- to entertain. I love the limelight. (Yes, i REALLY was that narcissistic.) Blogging was an enjoyable experience, because everytime i signed in to blog, i felt like i was (for the hour or so) dimming the lights on all the world, and putting the limelight only on myself. During that one hour or so, I was the lead. Today, I still enjoy exaggerative speech and writing. Probably because i find life too mundane, and always try to spice things up on my own part. i no longer am so narcissistic though. But that, being a self judgement, might be highly biased. HOHO. I no longer find the need to be the LEAD. In fact, the irony is that now, i very much would prefer to have a quieter life. Somebody- dim the lights please.
During those times when i stopped blogging- those were the times when work started to catch up. This is reflective of myself as the workaholic. I mean this in a bad sense. Because i do not like the way i go, when work is ahead of everybody else. When I neglect the intricacies of human relations, for the benefit of the greater good and bigger picture. Just like how i've decided to neglect my blog. (if you havent noticed, I write TO people. My blog is my link to the people i love- my relationship with the pillars of my life.) And now, I try to re-estalish that bond, which is proving to be extremely difficult.

Blogging. Ah-

----------------------------------------

Joshua sent me a copy of something that he wrote to class 95 to promote Homecoming. In the letter, he was asked to write about funny experiences from school days. Of all the interesting activities we had, Josh chose to talk about the most mundane of mundanes- Chatting. Not something i expected. But on hindsight, he was probably right in saying that it really was the most memorable thing from school life. I really do miss those times, and those people who made it happen. Sweet nostalgia.

-----------------------------
Today, life is catching up on me faster than i can keep up with. I dislike the way I'm trying to juggle PAC and rag commitments, and realise that I am doing both tasks equally badly. Really dislike it. I swear i won't chew off more than i can eat again. But i think this was what i said the last time as well. hai. Do people never learn? =.= Ok, just me then. =.= RARR all the way till 15 August! Tomorrow will be a better day!

sk

p/s: GP told me once, that blogging creates self centred teenagers. I disagreed. But now, I might have to agree. HAHAH, sorrys for that very self centred post!

post exams.

2009-05-09T00:04:00.003+08:00

ok, nerds are callled nerds for a reason. =D i've had 3 most enjoyable day, but the 1st thg on my mind is still: OH MY GOSH. I FINALLY SAW THE END OF EXAMS. time really flies, i'm no longer a freshman! come 3 yrs time and i'll be looking forward to graduation. amazing.

As much as i wish to say i can take a break and relax, but i can't. My plate is full; my to do list is running long. yuckyuckyuck. Got college day coming up most immediately. need to do up a speech to introduce the new valedictorian for this year. for pac, we have a lot of house keeping matters to settle. need to start exposing huayuan to all the teachers, need to start handing over matters to the juniors. for rag. WAH LAO i completely slacked for rag k. my float prototypes and designs r not up. havent contacted my sub comms. JIA LAY JIALAT JIALAT, have to start planning! 1st up on my list is to do a timeline all the way until rag day. JIAYOU SK!

Spent 3 very enjoyable days with jenny!! =) yay! 1st day: we watched this movie "252 signal of life" together with joanna. Review of the movie:
Interesting enough i guess. the plot is not too bad. 252 stands for sos. it's basically a movie aimed to awe us about firefighters and hw they save lives. The movie is set in the time of a mega tsunami cum typhoon that struck japan. It follows the story of a few strangers with apparently no connections with each other, and culminates in their meeting and struggle for survival through the typhoon cum tsunami together. if u're thinking along the lines of "ok.. thy have to overcome their differences and work together to escape". u're spot on. OH- but thr's a hero factor to the movie that you have to consider. (talk about it later) The movie takes us through their individual sad stories and attempts to tug at our heart strings as the few of them bond and overcome their differences etc etc. all in all it's a happily ever after story, with more mud, dust and water. - and the fairytale princess is a man. HAHA. this is the general outline of the movie. my true opinion of it: DRAMA AS DRAMA CAN BE. oh my tian ok, it was a disaster movie turned dramatic comedy for me. we start off with a superman who rounds up every survivor of the tsunami. (they were trapped in the subway). then the movie further adds on to his hero aura by showing us how he is like the light in the dark for the survivor. knowing exactly what to do. improvising and coming up with ingenious solutions. did i use the word superman? ok wrong, maybe not superman. maybe, we should make it the whole of justice league. YES, THAT'S THE AMOUNT OF DRAMA AND HEROICS THEY PACKED. you will be amazed by the dramatics that the scriptwriters came up with. for eg, the characters who were trapped together were so carfeully crafted u know! we have an exfirefighter (yes he's the ultimate hero), a disillusioned doctor, a korean woman (heavily injured, suffering from internal bleeding) a guy who sells a fish tank filter. (he called it mr bubbles. =.= MRBUBBLES leh. =.= wth) anw, guess what's the coincidence? ---

the girl was in great pain, the doctor checked on her n concluded she will die. UNLESS, she got a blood transfusion. "NONONO. it's IMPOSSIBLE to carry out a tranfusion here!!@" -then guess what?- YES drama queens, LET'S USE THE FISH TANK FILTER!!! JANG JANG JANG JAAANG! =D lol ok. i laughed. LOUD.

in all- it's a not bad movie. honestly. not too bad. =) (believe me?)

2nd day was nua day with jenny... went out for dinner with his friends. 3rd day was shopping day!! incredibly simple 3 days, but i'm happy and contented. =) hee...

ok, before i ramble further, i bttr go prepare for my mtg tmr. =S procrastination is evil.

ciao!

New start.

2009-05-04T02:44:00.002+08:00

New start in a different sense this time.

I did it! I called Jenny and told him the two things on my mind. 1. about the phone call at night. 2. about telling ah jiang stuffs i shouldnt have told him. RU SHI ZHONG FU. =)

HUGE relief.

Judging from my response, it's quite obvious it didnt go badly at all.. =) my maybe wasn't just a maybe. it was truth. =) yay. I just realised, i used to give ppl the benefit of doubt and think the best of them. Meaning which, my maybes will ALWAYS be truths. Along the way i lost this habit. Time to get it back!!! Jenny must feel so hurt that i should be thinking the worst, not the best of him, everytime he does something.

Even i feel damn sad thinking about it like that. =/

It's a new beginning! I'm going to carve out a new beginning for myself, him, and our relationship. OPERATION FREEDOM is still on! =)

I'M ON!

Cheer for me yo! SK's COMING TO THE HOUSE YO! =D

I'm back. HAH.

TOODLE DUMS,
sk

p/s: excerpt from phone convo.

"I think i'm psychic! 1. i knew you werent asleep. 2. i knew you were thinking like that that's why you chose not to tell me the truth.

him: my dear, the second thingis called trust please. you trust me that's why you think like that.

me: I DON'T CARE! I AM PSYCHIC!

him: okok, you're a psychic and a delayed psychic ok.. =D"

"me: i had this operation freedom ting you know... [explain explain]
him: AHAHAHA operation freedom sounds like the tamil tigers!
me: did you just call me the tamil tigers?!
him: sorry sorry, i meant the tamil tigeress!
=.="

"me: we have to check the spring neap low tides before we head to p. ubin. must see chek jawa, if not not very fun to go... if tide conditions not favourable then we dont go bah..
him: wah the spring neap low tides reminds me of my diver training.
me: har? you know about spring neap low tide ah?! OH MAN! i was still attempting to flaunt my geog knowledge!
him: come on, in udt we operate at low tide... [lengthy explanation]...
me: orh...wah i learn sth new!!! =) yay!
him: yea! HOOYA! i like our ______ (insert forgotten word)! HOOYA!
me: (spur of the moment) RIBET RIBET!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA *fits* i've always wanted to do that! cus you all wa1 ren2 mah...
him: did you just gua gua gua us?
me: no! i RIBET RIBET!!! =DDDDDDDD really always wanted to do it, but i thought you'll find it insulting.
him: I DO! OF COURSE INSULTING LAH! it's because you're too far away ok! if not i confirm whack you! i feel like whacking you la! just because you're too far away ok..."

LOLOLOL cracked me up real good haa..

-finito!

New start.

2009-05-03T22:09:00.000+08:00

Maybe i should start blogging again. Blogging has always been hovering in the back of my mind for a long time now. I just took a quick skim through my old posts; including the ones on my private blog (Not so private now that I've announced it. But I figured that what i wanted to hide in the past doesn't really need to be hidden.). I realise that i have indeed changed much in terms of character- i used to be so strong; i used to be so cheerful; i used to be so clear minded.

---------------------------------------

Why blog?

In the past it was partly for entertainment, to look cool, to boast my english standard, (though i know there's nothing to boast about lol) etc. Now, with the comfort that people take that my blog is dead, i think i can safely say i blog for the comfort of organising my thoughts logically.

A lot has been going on in my mind for the past few months. Or more aptly put: a lot has been going on in my mind for the past year, ever since i got into a relationship with jenny. It's not easy. A word in fairness would have me saying that the responsibility is both of ours equally. But I'm no longer fair minded. And like jo said, i ALWAYS said it's both our responsibilities. But i always think it's his.

Dissonance. Ah.

There is a better time to do this reflection, given that i have a paper tomorrow that i am hardly prepared for. But let me try to gain some efficiency and flush this out of my system so that i can concentrate on studies later.

To Jenn Yang:

There is a problem between us.

I don't trust you.
You hate it that i don't trust you.
You think i have a problem- a control freak problem.
You try to resist it.
I see this as your attempt to hide something and all the more I find it hard to trust you.
and the vicious cycle continues.

You should know very well why I don't trust you. Because of the things you did. I did say though, that confidence and security has to be self- built. So the reason why i don't trust you, should be more appropriately expressed as: the result of the things you did, AND the fact that I am unwilling to let go.

Fair enough.

But how do i trust when i keep sensing the possibilities for distrust? Maybe it's a self fulfiling prophecy. Maybe it's because I think... so it seems.... But why are the evidences always so convincing?

Lose sight of the past and let's talk about today. Why did you lie? I am impressed by my own sixth sense. I had a feeling (when you called me at 1am yesterday to tell me you're going to sleep), that you were not actually going to sleep. This is not the spot on accurate version, but it's close enough. Turns out, you were indeed awake later on in the night at 2am. Chatting on the phone for about an hour. Nvm, about this, maybe you didnt mean to lie when you said you're going to sleep. Maybe the person called and woke you up. But, when i asked you today: "why are you so tired? i thought you slept very early yesterday?". WHY did you tell me "I woke up in the middle of the night. Dunno why."

Your younger brother told me you were awake chatting on the phone till 3 am.
"wasn't he chatting with you?"
ouch.

It hurts that you lied. It also hurts that you were so disinterested in talking to me on the phone these days; last night. 1 hour? I dare not fantasize about having a solid chat for 1 hour with you. Because you are most of the time distracted. or more interested in doing something else.

..

I will be asking you about this. Definitely. It's not my style to leave things unsaid. But i really wonder how you will react. lol, get angry? maybe... i think you'll heave a huge sigh and ask... "do we really have to do this?" lol... pardon my selfishness. I just have to get it off my chest. Want me to stop? Easy. Don't do such things. Your girlfriend is a psychic. Oh. Another thing i wonder about. who is it? meifang? jamaine? lol..

I also want to ask you, what exactly do I mean to you? How is your girlfriend different from a normal female friend? Cux where you are concerned, the line seems to be pretty blur/ porous. Except of course, the obvious physical contact differences- I'm talking about emotional differences.

To put a line in for your defense: maybe you are doing what you think is the best thing to do. Especially after the big big fight the day before, where you walk away yet again with the impression that i am hugely jealoused and extremely sensitive to issues where meifang is concerned. Maybe that's what you thought. I will appreciate the thought bu not the action. But I won't get angry.

I won't get angry.

yes, i wont get angry.

I just want the puzzle to the mystery.

I like things clear cut.

Even if it's meifang on the phone, it's alright right? He can have his girl friends and chat with them on the phone casually. right? it doesn't mean anything. right?

Bullshit. If only i can really subscribe to this idea.

Ah.

I have issues, You're very messed up.

But will we be happier off without each other? Maybe. Maybe not. But your ah gong made a point. "neng zai yi qi shi yi zhong yuan fen. bu ke yi zhe yang. (bu hao jiu bu yao, zai zhao ling wai yi ge.)". Well said ah gong. Exactly my point. I. still don't wish to give up yet.

to sk: Target the issue, not the person. Remember.

---------------

I regret something that i did though. I regret telling your brother everything that i've told him,. i really shouldnt have done that. If there's a way I can turn back time and redo things, I will definitely not do that. But it's a bit too late i know. I hope there's someway for me to revert this mistake.

hai. angry people don't think. I shouldn't have allowed myself to be angry.

I'd better go talk to him again, and set things straight. Restyle the image of his brother to him. justify the pic and tell him the good things. Correct the moral picture and let him know that just because we are doing certain things, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

get those things straight. PARAMOUNT.

----------------------

ok, i'm gonna start studying now. =D I need to be happier. lol. SERIOUSLY OK. self talking is GOOD FOR HEALTH! =DD

I dislike how my re-entry into the blogosphere is done. =/ But ah well. =D it will change one day! I. WILL. BE. BACK. PROPER.

Hello 2009 [procrastination]

2009-01-04T00:35:00.002+08:00

I am here to offer anyone who reads this blog a fresh definition of the word: PROCRASTINATION.

i wrote the post below at the end of the previous year. it's my usual habit to wrap up a year and look forward to the next one on my blog. When i was single, lonely and w/o much freedom, this is what i did to quell away the lonesome feelings on new year's eve. I did this last year, but didn't manage to complete it then. VOILA! it's been a year now and i STILL havent gotten down to doing it. I shall leave the post as it was and post it now. So to however is reading and to SK2010, the next time you tell urself "i have got no time to do this now. let's stash it and come back later.", please slap urself immediately and finish whatever you are doing first. because more often than not, the "stashed aways" dont get done- like this post. RMB THAT.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello 2009.

Goodbye 2008. It's been a bittersweet year.

2008 zoomed past before i could fully grasp the works of things. I believe this is a sentiment shared by many other than myself. Or rather, many of those in my social circle. I guess this is mainly because everyone was plunged into a whole new life and a set of whole new experience, hence the rush. For me, change was plentiful; both apparent and inapparent.

Lets see, 2008 saw me starting off on the other side of the classroom- as a teacher rather than a student. I must say it was really quite an enriching and fresh experience. Really puts things into perspective. And no, teaching is not as easy as it seems. Though it pays well. Super well (for a temp job. Ah~ all those tax payers' money spent on people like me. AH~~~ I had my fair share of good and bad experiences. Teaching at Swiss Cottage sec was a once in a lifetime experience. First. We all know how it feels when you're thrown with this group of well bonded ppl, and you feel like the sore thumb. that was what it was like at swiss. Most of the relief teachers were from the school and knew each other before hand. I started off with prejudice, and much unwillingness. But of course learning this important lesson that it's all in the mind was well worth the time spent there. eing completely new, I had to learn the ropes of teaching, learn my way around the school, msot importantly, learn to socialise quickly with complete strangers. I came out of that teaching stint feeling much refreshed and altered. Swiss Cottage was a wonderful school. The staff there were honestly the friendliest and most bonded i've seen by far. All smiles at anyone you see, regardless of whether or not you knew them. I still remember getting so used to this and feeling silly cus i continued with it when i went over to pj. Smiling like an idiot lol. Mr Liew from Swiss was a one of a kind principal. He's the kind of person who would fade into the background. seemed like it. Until he speaks. Mr Liew speaks the language of sincerity and conviction. When he talks, people really do listen. And lol, picture this, He's the kind of principal who'd walk by a normal tech class; see the students go "eh Mr Liew!" *wave*, and happily wave back. This same principal can also walk by the same class, during a lesson, see the same scenario, and step into the class to warn the students to pay attention. No it's not schizo. It's knowing there's a time for work ad play. An old man who can chill. Admired. The relief teaching experience extended into PJ, where i taught Bio. I honestly think i performed far far far below what i expected of myself. I feel as though i failed my students and teachers. So let's not go there. It's one regret that i'll always have. My conclusion after the long relief teaching experience: I don't think i'm cut out to be a teacher. I enjoy the job no doubt. It provides the satisfaction that can't be found anywhere else. But the amount of patience and stamina seems too much to handle. And honestly, I doubt it can hold my interest for very long. Imagine repeating the same content to different classes again and again until you know it by heart. No joke k! It's amazing how teachers do it.

Post relief teaching came the time of undergraduate studies. I now read Pharmacy at NUS. Managed to secure a scholarship with MOH health sciences. Well, what can i say. Friends who hear from me would know how stressful and tough i find the course. It's no easy business. My grades at the end of the first sem was not satisfactory by my standards. And even worse, i worry about losing the scholarship. Hai, Up till now, i still think back to ppl telling me "uni is so much easier than jc!!!", then swear in my mind "damn you bull shit!" traumatising. uni is an eye opening, life changing experience. I am still trying very hard to get used to he system. I lost my streak of discipline somewhere along the way, during the transition of JC to work to uni. So uni was really tough shit for me. i CANNOT wake up on time to gett my 8AM lectues. i blamed everything i could blame. blamed my mum for not allowing me to stay in hall. blame myself for not applying. scolded the transport. internally whined about why everybody must go to work at this time. etc etc. well, willy-san said something which is always stuck in my mind. "it's not that you cannot wake up. that's impossible. if you wanted o wake up you definitely can. it's because you think it's ok to wake up late and go to class late. that's why you can't wake up" logical enough. But i didn't see it until he mentioned. It all runs down to discipline. MY best takeaway from the sem was the understanding of how important it is to have discipline. Must be disciplined enough to wake up, pay attention, print notes before hand, read before hand, find out tips from senior, find qns and solutions, source out text books, read and memorise every single day. DISCIPLINE. i failed this last sem. really. i lost to myself. Because i had no discipline. That's not gonna happen a second time. I will hit above 4.5 next sem. Hopefully 4.7 to 4.8 cap. SK JIAYOU!

Other highlights of this hectic year:

1. Being chosen as valedictorian for PJ. this was crazy. i still think it is. But ah well~ at least the crowd enjoyed my speech. that's all that really matters to me.

2. got back A level results. got 3 As 2Bs. I must say the results were quite satisfactory. though i wish i could've done better for gp but i'm not complaining. I rmb the scenario that day. It was frightening to be so lost as to what to do and how to behave. Thinking of A levels always makes me think of my study group. KK Josh Edwin Eileen. I'm proud of us! and thank you guys for always being there. It's a blessing having you guys here.

3.Got accepted by MOH for scholarship.

4. took part in NUS rag dance. This is kinda a once in a lifetime experience too. first time i participated in a large scale event of this nature. performing nature i meant. Was much fun learning and practicing the dance. made some nice new friends here and there. Pity i didn't stick it out with 'em.

5. pharm camp. got to know the ppl i hang out with in uni now- my og mates.

6. took up the role as costumes head in Rag 09 exco. Pity it didnt fall through. Pharm rag was disbanded before we could do anything.

7. Became OGL for xperience pharmacy camp. 1st time being an ogl. 'twas quite an interesting experience. BEing the clown of the group was fun. Ha, able to unleash my maternal streak, that feel of being older nyeha. was fun acting older (though i really wasnt much older than the participants. 1/2 year solder only maybe). i was blessed with a pretty fun loving group. really enjoyed myself as their ogl. but the interesting thing was about being caught in a position where i get to watch the exco but not be part of it. observing a different style of leadership. learning from the good, cautioned against the bad.

8. Became vice president for PAC. speaking of which i really need to get my engine going again to organise AGM and do up the website. ROAR. Gotta chiong!) I won't say much about this now, except that i hope PAC will clib even higher, become more active and more recognised in PJ in the years to come. this is my vision my pac for the year. JIAYOU.

9. finally, and the most significant thing that happened to me this year, sk got attached. =) it's been almost 10 mths, and a life changing 10 mths it has been. this r/s has really caused me to changed, grew and degenerated in various ways. ultimately, whether it's been a good or bad thing, is something i'm still trying to decide. i won't talk much about it today. But i'll wrap it up with one word: bittersweet.

there're many people i've met this year. various characters, some of whom i've admired from the bottom of my heart, some of whom i depend on... elaborate further later. but a short shout out to...

ili. you're always the first person to come to my mind when i think of friends. we've drifted apart in the past year. most definitely. maybe it's caused by both of us. But on my part, i know i can't seem to face you in the current state i'm in. i'm not exactly proud of who i am now. i'm still trying to become sk again. till then, you'll be on my mind.

jo. ilu so much! you've always been there for me! so much so that i feel bad, cus on the contrary, i'm almost always absent. sorry dear. you're my love! :) nuf said.

xb. we too have drifted apart, but similarly, you're onn my mind all the time. talk to me more ki hope you're happy...

jiahao. this is really private. but you'll always be someone special to me. not special as in that special kinda special. but special as in, i don't think i'll ever find another friend who'll be remotely like you. i guess this is what ppl call mo qi. talking to you, always makes me feel light and joyful. thank you for being a part of my life.

study group dudes. i really miss you guys!

Relief teachers gang. _____ elaborate later, there's too much to say about all of you. i can't justify how i feel with a summary. =) except maybe with this: thank you all.

Jenny. nah not really jenny. rather, goh JENN Y ang. (jenny ang). =D this was how you introduced yourself to me on the first day we met right? =) Thank you love, for being a part of my life too. i've learnt much from you, and i'm still working hard on understanding you. through this, somehow, i'm starting to understand myself better too. weird. i can't explian or pin point exactly why i love you. but i really do. sorry for all the bitter times i've put us through, let's hope the future will be better k lao gong? =) ilu~ we won't give up. things will get better.

and many many more to come. kiv.

-------------------------------------------------------------

HA. HA. HA. sk u're full of bull! =D

Rainbow connection =DD

2008-09-05T02:24:00.000+08:00

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that
and someone believed it,and look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing?
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
the lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell,
we know that it's probably magic....
Have you been half asleep
and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
the lovers, the dreamers and me.
La, la la, La, la la la, La Laa, la la, La, La la laaaaaaa

--kermit the frog

happiness.

2008-08-28T23:13:00.000+08:00

i suppose happiness is an entirely subjective thing.

i also suppose that the benchmark for happiness will vary with time.

so, it'seither that my benchmark has heightened, or that i'm starting to see things in a different perspective- one that didn't use to be my own.

sk

change.

2008-08-23T00:07:00.000+08:00

Another week flew past, and looking back on the past two weeks, i think i have done many things that leaves much more to be desired. I'm not just talking about school work per se though.

School has been intriguing! I really do honestly enjoy learning new things with each lecture. I am having fun in lectures! =D So let me dedicate a short something for each of my lecturer.

Physiology: my lecturer's one funny man! seriously! his sense of wit, sarcasm and humour is unparalleled, [yes, even by me! =D]! I haven't once sat through a lecture without wondering in amazement, what sort of person he exactly is. Lol, like for example, when he was teaching us about how multiple excitations from various neurones can arrive at a single post synaptic membrane. He links this to multi- tasking. "how amazing the human body don't you think? that we're able to do so many things at one time. Like how i find it exceptionally amazing that some students can be looking at me and nodding, while their fingers are typing away on their phones!". talk about catching us unprepared! =D lol... fantastic lecturer (yes, he's extremely clear in explanation!)

Physical pharmacy: my lecturer reminds me of agnes! =D she's SUPER CUTE! =D wahaha, she's from hong kong, and so she speaks in my ever-favourite hong kong accent! n lol, because she' teaching us about phases- solid liquid gas phase- whenever we get a bit too rowdy, she'll without fail, crack the same joke (ev lecture! =D) about howwe're all in gas phase and need to get back to liquid, if not solid phase. And lol, i think she's probably the only lecturer who'll..... (during our lab briefing) "you MUST remember to bring your lab coats! if not... i will LAUGH at you!" *cracks herself up into fits of laughter =D* how funny is that man! =D

ppda: er, the lecturer seems to be a pretty jolly and nice guy... i'm presuming la... cus i actually need to understand what he says before i can form any sort of impression... =D yes, he's a russian, so his accent is a bit tough for us to get used to...
it's super amusing during lecture, when i turn back from my front row seat, to see an entire lt of blur face, shock n open mouths. literally! (no kidding!). i LAUGHED out loud k! =D but he's realy patient i think... ppl can pulll him back for up to 20mins durng lecture... i think i wld've told the person to talk after class...

anatomy: havent had any proper proper lectures as of yet... but! so far so good! went to the anat hall last week! had a close up encounter with a cadeva! (unsure of spelling). it's woohooo amazing k! i can swear i know each n everyone of u inside out! yes! i know how ur guts look like! :D we also visited the anat museum which has MANY MANY preserved body parts and samples.... the most memorable being the development of the foetus... couldn't help thinking how many babies must have died before they had such a nice collection in good chronology... i swear you'll be amazed how tiny u were! at 12 weeks! but yet, how distinctly clear each finger of yours were! extremely intriguing... also got to see the human brain! picture this! you right cheek. then slowly mkae a 180 turn, and imagine nth there, so you can see right through to your brain! WOAH ok! plus all the skulls had their eyes opened! scary like anything!

so ya, u probably can tell, i do enjoy lessons! just that, i think uni is lacking in the FEEL good factor... yes, emphasis on FEELings... the sense of cohesiveness you used to have to is simply not there... though the people here are probably the most friendly and open group i've ever met... but it's not all about just having fun... i'm sure you know what i'm saying... you might be able to tell how much more tame i've become... cus i don't have my friends to indulge me! so yes, i miss YOU! --> with you being generic.

------------
on another note, how hard do you think it is to change your frame of mind? or worse, change a manner of being? like telling myself not to imagine and guess at underlying implications; like asking me not to be insecure; like asking me to have faith without anything substantial proof. how hard is it really? ultra hard i think. i've grown to depend on proof. call it ego, but i only believe what i see for myself. with exceptions to very few ppl who can convince me that they're views are right. i'm used to proving things for myself. no proof= no truth. Having to have faith simply by the belief of it is tough. super tough. but i'm trying. For a cause that i still deem as important to me. i'll be even better!

but trying to do it is tearing me apart. =S

i'm tired.

RAR!

ok that was bloody emo =D. ignore and onwards!

-------------------------

i hope everyone's doing well! stay healthy n don't fall sick! =)

sk

THE SHOCK DOCTRINE

2008-08-20T19:57:00.000+08:00

Hello Earth!

Indeed, the almighty important one has been missing in action for a substantial period of time. But they all say- absence makes the heart grow fonder aye? =D I'M SURE.

So here i am, attempting to once again, resurrect and keep to the commitment of updating this place. Hopefully. =)

Anyways, I'm currently reading this book called THE SHOCK DOCTRINE, by Naomi Klein. A background on this book: SHOCK. Yes, shock is the all and everything that embodies the contents of this book. No, it's not what I'll class as fiction. It revolves around events that are occuring in the here and now of the world today. Having said that it is not fiction, i must say, that the contents of the book is about as unreal and shocking, if not more, than fiction. In fact, the reality of the situation is what enhances the sense of shock one should feel when one reads the book. She reports to us the dirty little secrets of the real world that people, or rather, I, dont pay much attention to.

I'm barely at the first chapter, but I'll say it's a worthwhile read so far. Here's a short preview:

Disaster Capitalism: "He( Milton Friedman) observed that "only a crisis - actual or perceived- produces real change." [...] once a crisis had struck, the University of Chicago professor was convinced that it was crucial to act swiftly, to impose rapid and irreversible change before the crisis-racked society slipped back into the "tyranny of status quo" "

Here, crisis refers to any sort of disaster that befalls on a country, be it economic, or natural etc.

Doesn't sound too evil right? I thought so too, until things were put in perspective- think tsunami 2004, Sri Lanka.

"I(Naomi Klein) travelled to Sri Lanka, several months after the devastating 2004 tsunami, and witnessed another version of the same maneuver: foreign investors and international leaders have teamed up to use the atmosphere of panic to hand the entire beautiful coastline over to entrepreneurs who quickly built large resorts, blocking hundreds of thousands of fishing people from rebuilding their villages near the water."

"In a cruel twist of fate, nature has presented Sri Lanka with a unique opportunity, and out of this tragedy will come a world class tourism destination."

Personally, other than the loss f lives itself, i never really thought about what other troubles await after the disaster. It was a sort of assumption that things will eventually go back to normal. But apparently not. It's a frightening realisation...

=o.

ok, i'm not really doing justice to the book. =.= But hopefully I've ignited a tiny candlelight of interest somewhere! Just read it! I don't think you'llbe disappointed! =)

ANYWAY, I AM AN UNDERGRAD NOW! and *(%(, i don't particularly enjoy the new system, where everything is up to you. I suppose i enjoy having a direction to follow. I've always been more of the person to set a goal and slog towards it. Now, the goal is a bit blurred, because the scope of study is so wide. Bu ah well, i suppose the ultimate is to LEARN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN- no wait, change that to- LEARN AS MUCH AS THE SMARTEST PERSON IN YOUR COURSE CAN! yea. It's fierce competition yo! But, i must say i'm not completely in hell la... the pharmers are nice people... I'm not used to travelling, so i'm considering taking up a residence next year..(note: residences are not the same as halls. :) they're more anti-social) BUt i havent decided! =D must first get over the big M hurdle (go figure!).

=D Alright, so you can probably tell that i've ran out of things to say. I'll just stop HERe-

sk

Paper butterflies

2008-04-12T10:30:00.001+08:00

new phone!

2008-03-02T12:07:00.000+08:00

I ALMOST FORGOT! GUESS WHAT MAN?!?!?!?!!

I GOT A NEW PHONE LALALA!!! =D got bluetooth! and connectivity to com! =D yay-ness! =D so, just to haolian that i can FINALLY connect to my com, here are some pictures!

dropped by vivo with xb sarah yesterday after we went to pay up for the ocean's butterflies vocal course (360 bucks ok! wa lao!) bad idea to say where i took this tho =D the guy came n told me, "no photography please! =)" but sice i already took these, so.... ya la... =D so cute right! esp the 2nd one! =D it looks so blur!! =D pity they didn't have kittens tho..

HAHAHAHAH! i'm a good photographer! sunset!

my boy boys! =D FEEDING TIME!

the return of randomness.

2008-03-02T11:08:00.000+08:00

HOHO! this place has been forsaken for quite a while hur?!

right! cpr attempt no. 1!

so! how has relief teaching for 2 months been? mm, enriching... in a way... tiring definitely. relief teaching isn't as easy as it seems i feel. at the very least, i managed to make something very clear for myself. I WILL NOT BE A TEACHER. no. unless it's an absolute desperate measure (which then brings me to pray all the very best for a decent a level results). not entirely because i don't enjoy the job. i do. i do think that the sense of fulfilment one gets in teaching, is probably unparalleled in other jobs. but the amount of *^*$^#-ness in exchange for that fulfilment, doesn't feel entirely worth the while. ie, i find myself &%#$^$#* rather than OSH! most of the time. so i would say, teaching is emotionally draining- for me that is. probably due to my manner of working. i have the habit of putting in too much of my expectations in the things i do. that just doesn't help me alot... especially when i'm slogging my guts out to prepare lessons, to be understanding to their situation, to alter the way i deliver so as to optimise their learning, only to be met with "yea. so what is it today?" and "can we go yet?" and "=.="""""" " expressions. and the very worst. tell me. who the hell sleeps in small group consultations?! right in front of me! WTH LA. TOTALLY.

i also realised how much i appreciate time i can spend with myself alone. interactions with people are pretty tiring. but the absence of certain ppl (ILIJOS05 WHERETH ARE U GUYS?!) has been most deeply felt.

i ALSO realised, that in working for that certain objective u r trying to achieve, effort and energy, channeled in the right direction, matters. it's like shitting. ever had the experience where u try ur utter best to MMM MMMM, but tears, sweat and wtv else (other thn shit) escapes ur system? yea. that's what i mean. channel the energy in the right direction man! (ok, =D i'll admit. wtv preceded this analogy was FARCE. my sole and only purpose in posting today, was to share with you this experience of mine. that's it =D just so u know that sk is still alive, kicking n gross =D CONSTIPATION SUCKS TO THE CORE MAN!)

next, so that i can PRETEND i'm not apathetic. JI LEADER ESCAPES. crap. the first thing that came to my mind was "oh man, what's gonna happen to his guard?". poor guy. i think this unfortunate happening is made all the worse, considering the fact that we are on our way up the international ladder- organising the youth olympics, the f1 race and so on. like i was asking my brother, do u think information from abroad is being censored? their opinion? no doubt, i agree in this point of time, pointing the finger is probably not helpful, but it happens doesn't it? people will be people. "this should never have happened. i'm sorry that it has."- it was a little sad to watch this.

in any case, our forces are out prowling the streets; measures are being taken to nab this guy. i've received an mms from the police, with mas selamat staring at me from my phone. saw him staring from the bus stop, saw the rousing of youths frm nj to get everyone alert to this staring man. now, we're left to stay vigilant, and pray that he is found soon. are you optimistic about the capture though? how about the possibilities of a guise, an accomplice, or the worrying prospect of the lack of vigilance? (i was slightly *raise eyebrows* when i saw the lady on tv saying sth like, "i think he'll be caught soon, i have faith in our forces")

i'll reserve my opinions for now.

(see, my gp brain has not entirely erroded away- yet.)

till next, take care!
sk

moe teaching internship

2007-12-27T18:10:00.000+08:00

went for briefing today. WA KAO. i can safely say that today is THE! most boring day i ever had to sit through. THE MOST ok! n i've always been very proud of my ability to self-entertain; and today! i couldn't even do that wa piang. dieeeeeeeeeeee how to endure this all the way to uni?! HOW?! =/ tsk.

I QUIT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! =DDD!!

MMMMMMWAHAHAHAA!!

now i can't wait to c ili n jo!! TMR!!! n the 31st!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =DDD cannot wait. seriously. with all the sincerity those 2 words can hold. ahhhhh bored bored bored... lalalala... n this is for the 1st time in this very long holiday lor.. wth... =/

oh well~~ ranting =DD

-

2007-12-12T18:22:00.000+08:00

what the bloody hell u tell me, what the bloody hell omg!! ARGHHHH!!!!!!

LOL guess what happened man, i. just.dropped.my.phone.into.my.glass.of.water.

DOM.

just like that.

what the hell was i doing?!?!?! OMG!!!!! i duno whether to laugh or cry la!!!!!! *whacks forehead** now how? HOWWW??!?!?! aiyo!! WHO in the world voluntaroly throw their phone into their water? u tell me!! ARGHHHHH...

shit la, no phone AGAIN LOLOL! mei you yuan la totally...

i actually find it very funny- except for the cannot contact ppl bit. lol... sigh, i'll go do sth abt it...

sk

love actually

2007-12-11T04:56:00.000+08:00

to the few kind souls who still comes by to dust this god forsaken place::::
hi jason! n bye! phew good riddance =DD nahahaa, just kidding =D
n jiahao, the blog is NOT dead ok! it's WINTER (yes it is, even in singapore) it's only natural to hibernate HAH.
kenneth: oops sorry!! =D got that done now!!
xiaobai: I BLOGGED AGAIIIIINNNNN!!!! lucky pork in israel now! hurmph! future husband =.= u better dun bring back! =DDD

---------------------------------------------

CHRISTMAS IS AROUND THE CORNERRR!!! counting today as tmr (since i havent slept) we are EXACTLY 2 weeks away from christmas. =) i love christmas, i honestly do. it may not have any religious meaning to me, but i love the spirit of christmas, just - literally- for the fun of it! love the joy, cheer, carols (ahh! i dig christmas carols!), etc- absolutely dig it.

so yea, just to indulge myself in the festive spirit a little, i went to re-watch this movie (love actually) which many people have raved about (a long long time ago). i, sadly, on the other hand, never did have as fantastic an opinion of it- that is until today la. i point the blame to!!! a bladder on HIIIGGHH from liquid overdose. oh heck man, my greatest memory of the movie was nothing from the movie itself. it was rather, the way i was squirming on the seat during the final 30 mins of it, wondering "WHEN the blardy hell will it end?!" and also the hillarious mad and VERY LOOONNNNGGGG dash for the toilet with ili, kamielah and a few -i think 3?- other bpians after the movie. (we were at westmall's cinema can u imagine?! right at the end i think! oh goodness...) WOOH! a day of bladder hyperactivity. but osh, i got distracted, my point was simply that, the first time i watched it, "love actually" was farrrrr from being LOVE actually... it was more of a I-JUST-WANT-TO-PEEEEEE-SO-HURRY-UP-AND-GET-OVER-THE-HAPPILY-EVER-AFTER actually (HAHA not funny - but c'mon it's in the middle of the night, give my absent brain a break =D)

but ya, re-running it was nice... =)) it was [generally] the classic uplifting awwww fuzzy wuzzy feeling kinda festive movie.. EXCEPT that i was watching the uncensored version of the movie with some highly disturbing scenes- like seriously- so many many fast forwardings there... i will not go into the sordid details- but ya =S eww gross. as i said, heartwarming on the general feel. i especially like the way the movie started and ended at the same place : Heathrow airport arrivals gate. i'll quote,

“Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at the Heathrow airport. General opinion is starting to make out we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that; seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there- fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the twin towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people onboard were messages of hate or revenge; they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually, is all around.”

awww, sweet ah? other thn the mushy romance stuff, there was also quite a bit of humour peppered here and there throughout the movie as well. billy mack the old comeback singer was always a laugh- "Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. (super serious expression) Don't buy drugs. [long pause] -Become a pop star, and they give you them for free." LOLOL rowan atkinson played this part of a salesperson in the movie as well!! "lovely!" oh man, he was damn funny in the way he tormented the poor dude (his customer) ... anyway, me being me, also absolutely ADORE the little boy sam in the movie. =D (*note: daniel= his step dad; sam just lost his mum btw and daniel's really worried cus sam's been crying alot)

Daniel: So what's the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum or is it something else? Maybe... school - are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam: You really want to know?
Daniel: I really want to know.
Sam: Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?
Daniel: Even if that's the case, yeah.
Sam: Okay. Well, the truth is... actually... I'm in love.
Daniel: Sorry?
Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it. [grave expression wakakaka!!]
Daniel: [laughs] Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Sam: No. [his expression! LOL!]
Daniel: Oh, well, okay, right. Well, I mean, I'm a little relieved.
Sam: Why? [weord look]
Daniel: Well, because I thought it would be something worse.
Sam: [incredulous- HAHAAHHAHA u shd see his face] Worse than the total agony of being in love?
Daniel: Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.

awww!! SO CUTE! =DDD

anyway, the CENSORED version of the movie would be recommended =) u should find it anywhere, just don't get it off the net =) and er, if u need more reasons to watch it, it's got plenty more sweet and funny and slightly sad segments to boot, AND!!! AND AND AND AND AAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!! HUGH GRANT is in it!! AHHH!! i think that's absolutely THE reason to catch it!- if u havent already done so.

so there, be good and watch it to be on the "nice" list ya? =)

grunts off,

SANDY KLAWS!!! [SK geddit?! =D]

on a post note: just cause i'm in the mood for it,

i love u!! =) have a merry christmas!!

SQWAK!!

2007-11-28T12:55:00.000+08:00

i still dont know how to spell that word, but i keep using it, each time with a different spelling hmm. RANDOM!

updates, got a new haircut, jus like SARAH! =D whaha, still in awe of how tiny thgs lyk a haircut can make one feel so different. i'm a new... MAAAN!!! KAW KAW KAW! don back my contacts, mm, did little chgs here thr... yea~ my point is, life is pretty mundane around here lol..

tried out diff genres of music. jason strongly recommended metallica once b4. expecting it to blast my eardrums to smitherins (duno how to spell either- crap), i turned the volume down to mid range, n braced myself. - then i found myself falling asleep. lol. no la not really. just that they were more soothing than i expected, almost like a lullaby, not too bad, not exactly boring, but their songs r loooonnnngggg... n i have a short attention span. =) not exactly to my taste, but i don't reject it. =)

speaking of songs- jay's new album- not too bad, but i still like his 2nd album best of all.. has the nice eccentric feel to it. this is abit too poppish. hmm. but is ok. still like his emo songs alot =D waka, if anything, jay does the word "emo" alot of justice- to its fullest sense- give the guy some credit.

been singing my ass off in front of the com :D

movies [all rented- rather old time movies =D pardon my no-life ness]
pan's labyrinth- quite liked it, but wasnt as sensational as i expected it to be, but nonetheless good. =D neat storyline, lovely scenes. lovely young actress!! thumbs up!

the illusionist- i'm afraid i wont do it justice if i try to comment on it. just- watch it. enthralling plot. fantastic.

rattatouille- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =DDDDD you get the point. i LOVED it!!! they are so human!! watch out for their expressions man!!! the animators were fantastic!! they must have spent ages watching people- the nuances in behavior, tone, expression, all nicely woven in- ahhh~ fantastic one. LOOOVVVVEEEE

the woods- some not very heard of movie. an ok movie i guess, but not very fitting of its genre- thriller. not very thrilling la..

curse of the golden flower- hmm, i think the set was marvelous for this one... grandiose in every sense of the word. very befitting of palace life. the male n female lead were fantastic actors. i especially love the male lead- forgot his name haha.. very powerful air n evthg, awesome acting. i quite like the story line, but in all it wasnt a very on-the-edge-of-my-seat-movie for me... some of it i thought was overdone, like the jay chou fighting against so many other soldiers- ok la, i kinda laughed at the idea of it, but it was tear jerking nonetheless? :D i guess intention was met then. an OK movie..

let's see...

i cant remember what else i watched so nvm.. =D

im bored of ranting.
hmm,.

post a's.

2007-11-24T12:48:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOODNESS-

(WARNING: this is completely random shit =DD reader discretion -if there's any at all lol- is advised =D SERIOUS)

its friggin OVERRR!!! im a free birdy!! tweet tweet!!!! (haha, jo don't say i nv mention u!! tuu wit tuu wit, you tuu wit ur way!! =DD)

ANYWAY! post a levels are... as good as i think they can get =D an entire day of slow paced, nothingness. ahhhh~ tantalising. my idea of a proper life- no life! =DDD haw haw haw.

2 years in JC wasn't exactly a bed of roses. academic demands were crappy, and when coupled with cca demands, school demands, people, etc, it almost threatened to suffocate- but yea, at the end of it all, i wouldn't disagree that it had been a most interesting and unique experience. JC life for me was especially fulfilling. the a levels period saw me working my ass off (not literally- though i wish =D quite the opposite hapened HAHA)- which was something quite new, considering that slacker had once been my middle name. (n considering that mrs chiu had threatened to call my parents for nt doing work lol. that woman, damn cute!! =D)

other than the pushing myself to work for grades, JC also saw me working with people whom i found to be entirely different from me. trying out different approaches to handle people, solve conflicts, etc, again, quite refreshing. lol, but of course, when personalities clashed, conflicts are almost inevitable- most ashamed of those times =S.

but i'm blessed- luckier than most i think- to have a fantastic class. odd balls la we all, =D, but fantastic. we have jason, the life of the class (NEXT to me of course haw haw haw). always armed with a bag of laughs, n funny noises (tweet tweet!! LOL mr lim!!), n full of the bullying factor. SAM-text size got meaning one horr!! BOIIING!, lyn (HITAM! poor thing, always kenah bullied lol at night cannot see u!!), silei (tezt size meaning =D)( her TALL ness lol WAAAAVE!!!) , sarah my dear! i see love in the air!!! =D (edwinium sarate! love this lol) were favorite targets. then we have *intro: JOY TO THE WORLD!!* keh kiong- who, lyk jason, was always armed with a bag of noises, though not very funny waahaha (jkjk!) then we have edwin the PRO PAP! (lol damn funny, ask him "what u wana do after a levels?" he said: "i'm gonna be your prime minister LOLOL) n eileen the chic babe! lol, still water runs deep man, piano pro sia this one!! very fun to have convos with you! =D VERY REFRESHING! joshua the zai one, =D lol, always invade his house to mug lol.. remember that day aft some ppr? =D when ed, kk, me, eileen, josh went to mac n just chat our lungs out. DAMN FUN! =D wahaha nxt we have Xiu-li! lethal combi with silei lol.. always on the lookoout for nice faces! waha, n pinching silei's blubber =D we also have sturdy mrs superman (ya ryt! =D) aziemah, it pro!! the video for mrs lim was lovely! n thanx SO MUCH for the pizzas!! so sweet!! puts ur welfare head ( whoever she is *innocent*** ) to shame =D n our very beloved but also very shor- (er, nvm =)) CM michelle!! wakaka, thanks for everything u did for the cls!!! that's a very BIG evrything k!! =D cus u did a lot. n also, MAFIA henry (RAWR! CHEAT AT SOCCER!!) cool cool one and zihao (KOK!) , lol, always kenah shot by mrs leong.. =D we also have cool cool weikit, whose english is lyk MIND BLOWING. wanyu the prof liar lol, yiying! my dear maths neighbour! wanyu n yiying lol, tennis pro ah?? xiao yu! CHUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! =DDD enough said lol, the earnest student (quoting mrs leong =D) =D PAMMY!!!!! =D (who so totally cannot play hide n seek, cus CERTAIN THINGS (note the SIZE ah =D) just cant b hidden =D) next, moo mooo daniel, (we still havent compete to eat up the school field grass lol) the one who LOVES his "hamster" right? (what's her name ah??wahahaha)*wriggle eyebrows* =DDDD (COUGH!)
also, we have agnes the dutiful citizen, =D quoting mrs leong. bingshao, the PIANIST! (nono, not like the movie) AND weilin my darling bitch! so glad u're happy now!=D bless u! AZUL =D always a bag a fun! lol, when u imitate mdm lin!! u MUST be her in disguise right!! and asyikin! =D fellow fan of fmma n bleach!! =D SYAZZY WAZZY! funky hair!! =D n funky guitar playing rugger! KENNETH!!! haa, SHE ADDICT!! =D lucky pork went to she concert!! i oso wan!! thanx for the times when u helped us book bbq pits n wat nots.. =D n yes yes, u always reply msgs one!! unlike me!! =D waka, one of the very FEW hu reply me evtym i msg the class... =DDD

these dudes made jc life so much more...

there's still more that i wana say lol, but till next tym i feel like writing bah lol..

CYRIL WONG

2007-07-21T19:47:00.000+08:00

went the ARTS HOUSE [old parliament house] for lit yesterday. heard this singaporean poet and found him really good. =D here's one.

Mother Doesn't Get It

I don’t know why I don’t know love.

I don’t know why my sister sleeps with white men and likes it.
I don’t know why I don’t like sex.

I don’t know why I turned into my mother no matter how hard I resisted.

I don’t know why my son does not look at me in the eye anymore.

I don’t know why my daughter used to bring home other girls dressed as boys.
I don’t know why my daughter likes men now and the men are never Chinese.

I don’t know why I believe in God even though He does little to make me happy.
I don’t know why I can say such things and still believe I will go to heaven.

I don’t know why I keep waking up in the middle of the night after dreaming of lying at the bottom of a pool.
I don’t know why even as there is no light in such dreams I can feel I am not alone and that something is waiting to hold me down to drown.

I don’t know why my husband loves to mop the floor to a meaningless shine.

I don’t know why the self is a shadow I keep trying to pin down to point in one direction.

I don’t know why this home is where my heart is no longer.

I don’t know why my body shrinks with age but my loneliness never does.

I don’t know why my children watch me with their father’s hollowed eyes.

I don’t know why I keep telling my son I will kill myself if he refuses to marry.
I don’t know why I never kill myself.

I don’t know why it is precisely those moments when I am almost sure I am happy that doubt pours up inside me like a cloud of mosquitoes through the grate of a roadside drain I saw in India and could not stop staring.

I don’t know why I can almost forget my pain when I am at my busiest and most distracted.
I don’t know why I still believe the dream of the happy life will surely fit itself back inside my body tighter like a screw tomorrow.

I don’t know why the pain comes back.

RAR! =D

2007-07-02T22:46:00.000+08:00

wosh! went visiting at syaza's today!!! BLARDY FUNNY CAN!!!!! =DDD LOL!! there was this 2 super funny videos- 1. "what what my butt!!" some cheapo -erm- hard gay, hillarious, yah. jus DAMN FUNNY LAH! thn another 1 making fun of this bolly wood movie!!! =DD LOL GIRLY MAN GIRLY MAN!! =DD go youtube search 4 it!!! =DD SUPER funny! =D wakaka, lol, it was fuuuuuuunnn man!! wahaha!!!!! n syaza's small bucket of lard is damn nice lah! made nuggets for us summore =D.

anyhoos! JIA you to syaz!! n nad n kam!! JIA you 4 wat pprs u hav left!!! =D JIA you li! 4 da plain fun of it!! =DDD OOOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!!!! all the best man!!! the best as in, vvv GOOD! as in vv HAO!! GOOD GOOD!!! DA BOMB MAN! =D

wah.

tt was damn stupid.

=)

bt nvm, i made someone happy =). karma booster.

sk

RAR!! =DDDDDDD

2007-07-01T20:17:00.000+08:00

BAAAAAACK!

woohoo! the past few days had been pure bliss~~ just slacking, going out, slacking. and slacking. OH YAH! i slacked alot man! =D did i mention? basically! just doing anything except worrying about work =D. SHIOKNESS CAN!!!!!!! =DD

ANYHOWS! ARTY FARTY ME went to the national museum on fri!!! DAMNN COOL LAH! thy had this cool cool "photos" section, where they showed off the various pics taken of old times!! focusing on common personalities then, but of whom are no longer visible now. thn the -erm- SENIORS =) [respect ah!] yah. the seniors shared their story about the past, and their experiences with the ppl of the past, lyk the mah jie etc. so friggin intesresting. thn thy had this super fun section, where they provided templates of inscribed pics of things from s'pore, lyk our airport, the trishaw, SALE, etc. thn! we take CRAYON n PAPER! then scratch lyk mad on the ppr!!!! =DD so fun! woohoo!

o yah! i went to take a brochure bout the museum, wanting to read more at home. thy had a few choices u noe!! gt diff colours one!! =D COOL MAN! eileen n weilin took the yellow ones!! then i thought. "EH! blue colour looks damn nice lah!" so i took the blue 1 =). then the lady at da counter sneaked a peek at me. then i thought" must be the BOY! thing again. =.= should so bring pj's librarian thr sometime soon."

i gt home thn i realised the purpose of the diff colours. the brochure was in malay. =) whee! no wonder. =)

drama mama on fri night! =o! mum woke up in the mid of the night complaining bout the room spinning. she sat down on the couch, n started shivering lyk. lyk. erm. yah. nvm =D she was shivering lyk anything!! [anything!! NOT whatever hor!] she sat down n couldnt sit up, lest say stand. erm. thn, she started to merlion. wheee........... but the scary part was really the shivering, spasming, hands, with eyes barely open, showing their whites. SCARY! yah. hoo! nvm. =S lol... she's bttr now! =DD

slept at 5 tt nyt. 2nd 5am night in a row. =D lol... fainted till 4++ the next day. thr goes sat!! SHIOK! =D

HOHOHOHO!!!!!! wasted time doing some tickle tests yesterday. came across this really interesting quiz : simund freud- i think. =D so cool u know!! it traces which stage of your life has the most influence on your present life. not very surprisingly to me, my results predicted that my character was only shaped after i was 13. =D quite a rare result, since most others were like toddler, infant etc. wakaka! im trying to say, bp has a HUGE influence on my life. =D that's perhaps y the school will always be extra extra extra special to me. =D cus i m who i am after i experienced bp. =D

random. =) what. felt lyk gushing cannot issit?! =D

i realised that the reason as to why im nt so receptive to pj is perhaps because i cant let go of bp =D. i resolved! not to let go still =D. BUT i'll try even harder to embrace what time i have left in bp. quote: " there's only 4 months left" =DD

i want kacang putih.

KACAAAAANNNGGG PU-TEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH!!!!!!!! *cring cring cring cring!!*

EH!!!!!!!!!! tt can b made into a cheer leh!!! =@! let's try!

cheer:

kacang putih

kacang!

kacang kacang PUTIH!

kacang!
kacang!
kacang kacang PUTIH!

kacang putih kacang putih *cring cring!! - cring cring!!*

kacang *CRING!* putih *CRING!*

KACAAAAANNNGGG PU-TEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH!!!!!!!!

damn random.

BUT damn cool.

=)

sk

200 pounds beauty!!!! [part TWO]

2007-06-07T07:56:00.000+08:00

er.

i haffta go clean up my ROTI PRATA breakfast [NYAHA! eat ur hearts out man!!! =DDDDDD woooohoooo!! oh look! multiple chins!!!! get it get it?!?! =D 200 pounds--> multiple chins!! HOHO!!!]

yap! so er, i dun think i'll cont for now. =) i myt do so later tho. till then. prata-s away!

sk

p.s: hun-gray arh? er, no prata for u. sorry. but guess what?! =D !! u can eat the CAKE of dust on my blog. =) ENJOY! BUT!!! b careful not to OVER EAT ( HOHOHO!!!!!!! get it get it?!?! OVER EAT!!--> 200pounds!! =)]

200 pounds beauty!!!!

2007-06-07T06:53:00.000+08:00

OHOHOHO!!!! TIME CHECK! 6:54AM! wooohooo!!!!!! havent slept! =D

RIGHT! under HEAVY [HEAVILY punned=D. sorry, can't help it. HAD to. =)]- right. ANYWAYS! under the heavy reccommendation of joshua low chee poon [HIAK HIAK HIAK], i decided to give the movie- 200 pounds beauty a shot when i couldn't get to slp at ard 3am =) HIAK HIAK! HOO! nice 1 lah! i liked it lyk! lyk ah... lyk... LYK ANYTHING MAN! HOHOHO!!

ALRIGHT! here's a synopsis!! =D 200 pounds beauty, revolves around a [wanna guess?? *wriggles eyebrow*] A 200 POUND BEAUTY ! HIAK HIAK HIAK! oh~! speak of surprises man! =D hoho! anyways! the main character is a girl by the name of KANG Hanna [i have no idea y KANG is CAPS-ed. =/ but the subtitles always CAP-ed it. so wth! let's go KANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *whisper: Hanna*] YUP! Hanna is a girl with a lovely voice, and this voice of hers makes up for the looks that she lacks. She uses her voice to make a living, typically, being a phone sex host [if that's what thy're called. u know da -(speaks): ooO~ wat do lyk me to b?? nurse? waitress? bunny? (reply): *muffled ramblings* (speaks again): OK! NURSE! " *wriggles eyebrows in her voice* it's time for ur shots~~ =)" YUP! u know now! yah. besides being this phone person, she is also a "behind-the-scene-vocals" for this famous singer, ie, i put the "singer" to shame =). In the process of her "understudying" the singer, she falls in LOOOOVVVVEEE ~~oooo~~~~ [sorry. =)] with the singer's producer. then somehow,

AH! er.

AH!

DISRUPTION! UR SERVER IS UNABLE TO CONNECT TO THE WEBSITE, AS THE OWNER OF THE SITE HAS JUST CAUSED THE CONNECTION TO FUSE, WITH HER HIGH-POWER -SUPER -SONIC- LASER-HOTNESS. NYEHAHA-

too bad. =)

sk

p/s: actually, i'm **sound effect: xiu xiu* off to da market for some mudder daughter bonding w [guess hu again?! ] my mum lor. HOHO!

==========TO BE CONTINUED=============== (ooo coolness man! "to be continued" ooooo)

.

2007-04-26T04:30:00.000+08:00

gaa, i realise that i have a problem: i fail to deliver, as a friend. i think i have made promises, promises to "be there", but more often than not, i'm not contactable unless willing to-that is, when time allows. too caught up- i conclude. i'm too caught up in doing the things i have to do, that i have awfully neglected the promises i made.

gaa, is this what you would term hypocritical? putting up a "show" of compassion, but never actually delivering it? would it soften the impact if i say that i genuinely care? that i do mull over it on a daily basis, but i dun have time to translate it into action?

o yuck, i'm already disgusted by myself.

i've said it many times, "it feels awful to say this, but im sorry if it seems like i don't care bout ur stuff. i do care ok? it's jus that i've rilli got much at hand to complete. i'm not saying that i don't have time for you, but ya... i'm sorry...=("

it sounds like an excuse, but, then again, i mean it. as in, i almost already don't have time for myself, lest say others.

i feel lyk a badly oiled machine- feel absolutely fake- cus concern pours out of me in spurts it seems. it is like imhereforuimhereforuimhereforuimhereforu, then, absentabsentabsentabsentabsent. then, im suddenly here again.

sometimes, i think i take extra effort just to show some care for others. is that the way it's supposed to be? is there a guideline as to whether care should just flow automatically ie, that care should be effortless? cus if it's not effortless, then it's just a pretence? i wouldn't classify it as pretence though, cus i do care about whoever i show care to... but, i think i really have to make that effort to make time to care... lyk, i have to: "alright, later i have this this this this and that to complete. i'll try to finish this this this by ___time, then go on to do that. **thoughts stray* o ya, i think ___ called me today n i din get to call back, should call back n talk b4 i cont to do that." yaa, this sort of thing... like i nd to plan my schedule n allocate a time to care. woohooo! my own little "care slot".

sigh. it's not pretence. it really is not.

neither is it an excuse.

maybe i'm trying to console myself, but i see the need for me to account for why things are like that, more of a self evaluation than anything, so that i can perhaps change.

i'm in a sort of dilema. i believe actions speaks louder, and i'm tempted to launch right into a spurt of care influx, the way i do in the past. but, i'm not confident of sustaining it even when the work starts to pile up, when my responsibilities start to beckon me away. in short, i want to help, but i'm afraid that i'll only cause more disappointments.

sigh.

sk

- depression is getting more common than cupcakes.

IT'S OVE- !

2007-04-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

IT'S OVE- ! *gag*

~and the repercussions hit me wave after wave like seismic tremors.~

it's NOT over. YAY!!! :D

oh well! i can't be less bothered =) im deteremined to brighten up my life =)

sk

omg

2007-04-08T22:43:00.000+08:00

i won't usually complain publicly. but THIS, is a bit much. =) just abit tho =) ohoho!

*whispers: i have the tendency to exaggerate =D to add drama =D. bear with me! its entertaining ho! =D*

FOUR TIMES!

tt's 1,

*right. here at this pt of time, you can raise ur index finger*

2,

*mid finger up too. nono! dun put down ur index!! tt's wat I, not you, shd b doing. =)*

3,

*ring finger now... good, u're catching onn....*

4!

*finally, ur pinky up too! =) now do u get a bttr pic of 4? gd 4 u...=)*

right. four times of wat hur? =) 4 times of repeating the same instruction [requirement], a very simple one too! yah. structure of program. ambiguous? maybe, so i said, organisation of participants. ie hw do u organise ur participants. isn't it tiring? =) four times!

oh well, if its JUST the instruction, maybe i wont react SO violently. bt nooooo..... =) being nice n helpful, n at the same time doubtful of th- nvm! *go figure=)* yah, instead of open ended, i even came up w a MCQ structure leh! =O woooh! lyk cool hor!! lyk im da abso best lah! =DDDD lyk for example:

er, do u wan a MASS stargazing? ie only 1 ic w evbudi's eyes on him as he talk, the whole night.

OR do u wan many small groups, each grp with lyk 1-3 ics to go thru stargazing w the participants?

OR do u wan to have stations? thn each grp will hav lyk 1 ic, n will visit the various stns.

*reads back*

*re reads*

*reads out loud*

*and again*

oh! =O! holy!! surpirise surprise! it actually sounds like ENGLISH! =O=O!!!!!

lyk WOW!

thn y cant u guys undrstd?

hmm?

a committee! tho small, i had a GOOD 1st impression of thm. =) cus thy did gd discussions. =) 4 ppl. ok to b fair, 1 was constantly mia-ing. ryt. *restrains fingers* nvm, 3 ppl thn. all competent 17 18 yr olds. one of whom is even an ex__ member. all perfectly capable in the art of english. all passed o level listening. YET. no matter how i repeat my instructions, i. dont. get. wat. i. want. lyk omytian!!!! LOL! im luffing lah!! seriously!!!! jus look at how ridiculous this is!!!!! **starts luffing wackily* LOLOLOL... SERIOUSLY! :D:D

i duno wat to say leh! LOL! [ yea tt's an irony =) considering the length of this post =D]

great man! LOL. i was being nice by allowing thm to set the struct. cus thr's more of tt ownership thingy... i cld've SO easily forced my preference on thm. but noooo.... i didnt =) i think i should've =)

-_-!!! seriously! like o my god!

HAHA! =D sorry, i actually found this V amusing.... =) tt's y im blogging bout it at all. =D btw, i wana exclaim! astro fundraising is gg pretty smoothly! =D SO MOTHER GLAD! =D well, some small hiccup here n thr =) bt thy're alryt. =D

sk

7/4/07

2007-04-07T11:18:00.000+08:00

i was "blog-hopping" around for about 1.5hrs just now, for want of some exercise. [oh heck hopping takes strength man!]=) the "next blog next blog" sort of thing. a few of them really caught my attention. so fascinating to see the various things that people blog about:

politics, photography, anime, music, family, business- in two forms: 1. the kind that discusses, for example, ways to market your products more effectively. 2. the kind that, well, markets themself- very graphic. [MY EYEBALLS!!] Another interesting kind exclaims to the world their undaunted pursuit of freedom of choice to love a member of the same gender. =/ v graphic too. the irony of it one of these blogs was entitled sth like "the simple upright guy". right.

oh oh! can check out these 2 blogs!! interesting people!! =) mm, nth too thick or heavy; simple blogs that rant about their life. i don't usually dig these sort of blogs, but these 2 were kinda nice. =)
http://alifewithgrace.blogspot.com/--> by a mother of 3. surprising hor??! a houswife with a life! =O.

http://docunderdog.blogspot.com/--> a post bacc dude on her way to medicne. mm, quite cool. it's like... a high school drama serial universi-fied =)

oh god i need a life.

lalala, let's see, we received our common test results - a period of time that i ALWAYS dread. Not so much because i fear to see my results, but rather because i'm unsure of how to act around people. hmm, my results weren't satisfactory definitely. in fact they were my worst so far, and they really made me sit up and realise the importance of studying again. but, in all sense, they were not too bad. not complaining! Although i must say i can feel people's disappointments in me. when they tell me i'm too involved in extra curricular activities. =/ but, it's not those that are dragging me down, it's just me. =)

er, have got a few activities going on currently, like the pre u sem and the astro fundraising. plus the need to improve on my work, spend time with my family, friends. yap, occupied. sssssss. nvm! =D ohho!

Many people are down in the dumps recently, and i don't really know what to do ohho! ya, helpless again. =/ so frustrating TSK! RAR! JIA YOU PPL ! JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!

rar. no mood to blog actually. =) blogging for the sake of it =) OHOHO! joshua sth sth sth! thr u go!

sk

21/2/07

2007-02-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

i don't understand. i fail to see what can drive such behavior. i do not see how such evil can exist.

why? i do not see how any sort of behavior can warrant a "i think u should just die. you know why? cus nobody cares."

that's appalling, unacceptable, revolting and the list goes on. what happened to respect? to care for humanity? care begins from home, from a person as an individual. if one lacks the ability to spare a thought for the fellow human beings around him, 1, 2, 3 10, 20.... packets of blood will not redeem him. he will still be as he is- heartless and insensitive. allow me to be frank.

let me first compose myself.

ryt

human nature can take on so many shocking turns. 18 years of my life on the face of Earth, i've seen many different types of ppl. i once thought everybody was lyk my friends- nice understanding and accomodating. i went up to secondary, then i know that tact is a gift. but that was alryt, a few hard slashings, and i've become reasonably immuned. i must say, it even made me a better person. at 16, i thought mindless insensitivity was a heaven forbidding sin. then i arrived in jc. i realise i had all along been living in my lala land of a paraduise. i saw reality. or rather, reality dawned on me, without my consent. i met people who were sinners in the old context; they were nice to see. i was then introduced to malice- an entirely foreign concept.

i started by dismissing it all. i had gullibly thought and believed such evil would not exist. i had been kind as to think the best of everybody; to think that at 18, ppl were mature enough not to engage in mindless bullying. yes, i say bullying. i overestimated the goood of humanity, and underestimated the powers of the evils of human nature. i'm increasingly disillusioned.

i stone and ponder, why does such malice exist? had the agressors suffered some grave injustice such that thy nd to release it on some subject? no. more often thn not, i obeserved, that's never the case. had the victims committed some grave crime? sucky attitude hardly warrants a disregard for the value of your life. no. does this all sound way too feeble to you? it does to me. i came to a conclusion, people don't need a reason to be evil. it's a matter of choice. thy're evil, cus thy're evil.

shocking i think, but thr's hardly anything i can do about it as i cannot remove the seed of evilness withing thm... it exasperates me. i hate being helpless. hate to see ppl who matter to me be hurt in such a way. angry that such evil even exists. just urgh!

RANDOM RAMBLING!! DO NOT READ!! UNLESS U WAN UR EYEBALLS TO RANDOMLY FALL OUT!

2007-02-18T04:37:00.000+08:00

HO HO! this is to any1 hu still checks da blog-> I ROCK UR WORLD I NOE! O YES I DO!
ryt! 4:38am on cny! chu yi! [1st day] I! felt lyk blogging ho! bt i have absolutely no idea wat to rant about =) OSH!
hmmz, currently, i slaying the pineapple tarts frm ili, a layer at a tym, at an uber high rate HO! not much left! DEPRESSING SEH!
ryt, let me rant hoho!

*cricket sings majullah singapura!*

rar! nvm! hoho!
**lightbulb** idea!shall rant bout cny...mmm, rilli wasnt looking fwd to this year's cny, for reasons unknown to me. tried to quote some reasons, bt thy're tooooo feeble to fuel my disinterest n erm if i may say dread for cny. so there! HO! jus wasnt looking fwd lor, nt in da mood i tk. hmmz =/ anyhows, visited chinatown jus now, the action, colours, noise, spirit did tickle my interest for a short moment, but lyk a baby w uber short attention span, da novelty wore off! HOHO!!!!! im ranting! NONSENSE!! GARBAGE! YAY! =D

i wana watch bridge to terabithia. i think one of da characters die in the end. think it goes along da same theme as kotc. im interested.

i think pineapple tarts ROCK. ultimate fav new yr goody

ho! woke up this morning w an urge for spirited away! watched it again for the UMPTEENTH tym!!!!! tt movie is da abso uber best! =D go watch everybudi! or i'll haunt u in ur dreams n brg a vcd player w me!! so u watch it in ur dreams! HOHO!!!! i think im attracted by the sheer impossibility of it all. n da cute FAT baby. n da ugly-looking-make-me-feel-good-witch. n da ABSO! cool central character dragon! n the fact tt their dragon gt 4 legs. n da ppl being turned into PIGS [WOOH! SHIOKNESS! =D] for eating the food of gods. n da magicality in it all. n da awwww~ fweeeling it evokes =)

im thinking of taking on the next few days by doing wtv random slack i feel lyk doing =) no routine. no obligations. no planning. no pre-informing. jus complete spur of the moments. pure sweet hardcore slackwork =) bt by sayng this im oreadi pre planning. heck!

bt i think it wun work BOO!
i've been constipated for the record period of tym! POLL TYM! take a stab at how long i've been shitless! :D

i feel light headed

o ya, u noe ev yr, for my religion la i think, we mus pray to the deities n ancestors at midnight to start off da new year... thn thy have da putting in da 1st joss stick of da yr thingy.

i fell aslp =)

eyeballs out yet?

it's now 4:58!

i have an ulcer on my LIP

o ya, u noe hor, im bloody irritated leh!

i felt lyk saying tt for the sake of it =)

i dun have working earphones! playing music out loud! accompanied by my dad's thunder!

im nt rilli eenjoying lit =/ othello's nt my kinda story.. =/ tho i agree Shakespeare is amazing. bt still. nt my type =) plus da fact he's dead =)

i luv randomness!

wahhh~~ whee~ self entertainment!

2007-01-21T19:50:00.000+08:00

hoho! kop frm nad!! so some of da ans remains da SAME!! y? cus im LAAAZXZZZYYYY

01. Your name --seow ken!! [sumtyms ppl pronounce it as shiow ken, i JUS realised thy were calling me HOT all along hoho!]
02. Hobbies -- Eating, sleeping, slacking, breathing, reading. Practically anything which doesn't bore me and keeps me alive.
03. Gender -- Female, i suppose.
04. School/work -- p Junior College. rar.
05. Height -- 16o cm short. I desperately want to grow taller. Boohoo.
06. Horoscope -- Aquarius. WE rock!
07. Address -- Teck Whye Lane.
08. Email -- ksk_1989@hotmail.com
09. Hair colour -- black n white! wosh! white hair ROCK!
10. Eye colour -- brack, i think.
11. Skin colour -- sh*t colour!! hoho! brown. But fairer in the areas not exposed to the sun.
12. Right or left handed -- Rightie.
13. Status -- Single and loving it!
14. Siblings -- 1 older brother who is most of the times, non-existent.
15. Last 5 digit of your mobile no -- 82876.
16. When's your Birthday -- 21/12/1989. [take away the 1s! [woah! damn cool! ]
17. Age -- 17. Dreading every single moment of it. I can't wait to get my driving license. Woopie!
18. Shio -- Huh? Does shio mean hot?
19. Religion -- buddhist, and proud of it!

[[ have you.. ]]
20. Tried smoking -- Never did. Never will.
21. Drink alcohol -- coke rocks!
22. Been hurt emotionally -- **lips tremble** HOW... can ...u...ask SUCH A THING! WAAAAHHHHHHHH~!!! **floods**
23. Kept a secret from anyone -- Is this supposed to be a rhetorical question? [eheh nad, i dun understd ur ans]
24. Been on stage -- RARR! gues wat i was??!! RARR!

[[ Favorites ]]
25. Color -- Boring colours like black and white. Bright colours like red, flourescent orange and lime green.
26. Food -- Anything un beefified.
27. Town -- I don't dig towning.
28. Numbers -- 2! 22! 222!
29. Cartoons -- Too many to list.
30. Movie -- No preference actually.
31. Subject -- None. I repeat, none.

[[ right now.. ]]
32. Wearing -- Tee and long pants. Oh nono, wearing some fanciful dress.[o mmy tian! nad u dun wear under wear wor!! :o! so liberal AH!?!?! as 4 me, shirt shorts UNDERWEARS
33. Hairstyle -- aunty hair
34. Looking for -- answers to ans this.
35. Thinking of -- answers to ans this [hello!].
36. Listening to -- TANK! WOOH! btw, tank is NOT da vehicle, he's a singer [chi] VROOM VROOM!

[[ do u believe in.. ]]
37. Love -- yes. n i believe EVERYONE around me is violently in love with me.
38. Faith -- Yes, but i seriously lack it.
39. Yourself -- More often than not, no.
40. Ghosts --Yes, but have yet to see one.
41. Angels -- Yes. I can feel them all around.[myself! =D]

[[ in the last 24 hours.. ]]
42. Worn jeans -- no.im too hot =)
43. Cleaned your room -- You mean we have to clean it? Hmm.
44. Cried -- **sobs** YES!! whn u asked me qn no. 22!! WAAHH!!!!
45. Met someone new -- Not really.
46. Last person you talk to on the phone -- mm,lemmi tink.. mm, OH! I NOE! BUT I DUNO! [wahaha was woken up by some littkle gal calling on my hp, duno hu. mus b ANOTHER 1 of my admirers. we happily hello hello hello hello each other for awhile until i BOOM out laughing =D]

[[ love life ]]
47. Do you believe in love -- -.-" piang. stm sia u person setting quiz.qn 37 hello??!! **raise eyebrows**
48. Have a secret admirer -- Keyword here is secret, so how am i supposed to know? But in any case, i doubt i have any cos i'm too ugly.
49. Do you wanna get married -- nah. not really, i've always wanted to live alone HOHO! until i rilli do maybe i'll consider this again =).
50. How old do you wanna be when you get married -- rarrr 100!
51. How many kids do you want -- 2!! adopt adopt!
52. Would you have sex before marriage -- HELL NO. I forbid it =)
53. Do you have a crush -- YES. oreo crush. =)
54. What do you want most in a relationship -- No idea.
55. Pink or Black -- Black.
56. Kiss or hug -- I shall choose kick or punch.=D[wohohohoh!! nice 1 nad!! =D]
57. Summer or winter -- i lyk both leh. summer wooh!! fun! winter wooh! oso fun!! =D
58. Sunny or rainy -- Sunny. Rainy weather makes me cranky.
59. Chocolate or vanilla -- both =)
60. Hanging out or chilling -- Monkeying around.
61. Music or TV -- TBTB!
62. Hamburger or Pizza -- Both. There's no room for choice here.
63. Smile or Laughing -- Both. These 2 are like my lifelines or sthg. hurr?? i tot bth r quite similar??
64. Sleeping or eating -- Both lah. Duh.
65. Mc Donald's or KFC -- Both have their respective strengths so i don't know.
66. Silver or gold -- Silver. Gold gives me an 'auntie' feeling. [PLUS! a very kopitiam towkay fwelling too!]
67. Sunset or sunrise -- Sunrise. sunrise liao cn eat prata =)
68. On phone or in person -- mm, ok la both.
69. Diamonds or pearls -- Yucks to both.
70. Adidas or Puma -- It's got to be Adidas.
71. Band members or models -- Band members. Models give me the 'we-are-brainless-himbos' feeling. [TOTALLY!]
72. Local or International Artist -- International lah.
73. Sneakers or boots -- Sneakers.
74. Jack Daniel's or Chivas Regal -- Huh?
75. Dunhill or Marlboro -- or
76. Clubbing or live music -- My own dancing and singing.
77. Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt -- Johnny Depp.
78. Angelina Jolie or Kate Hudson -- me.
79. Colossal/epic or romantic comedy -- Colossal/epic comedy can? Romance flicks are too generic.
80. BMW or Ferarri -- BMW.[TOTALLY!TOTALLY!TOTALLY!TOTALLY! =D]
81. Incubus or Maroon 5 -- Muse.[lol ans da qn lah nad. fall out boy =)hoho! practise wat u preach man!]
82. Long haired or bald -- Moderate pls. [extremities LOL but bald's quite cool=)as in COOL balding la. chris daughtry's sumwat bald ryt? hmmz]
83. Pop or rock -- mm, no pref la, sounds nice thn i'll lyk lor.
84. Beach or mountain -- rarrr, mountain actually.
85. Nokia or Ericsson -- Nokia.
86. 311 or Hoobastank -- Who in the world is 311?[hoho! ya lor!]
87. Asia or America -- both ok la, bt im leaning towards asia.
88. Tattoo or piercing -- Neither. Guys who have these 2 are downright gays and a huge turnoff.[ya!]
89. Asking or answering -- Asking. It requires less wit and thinking.
---------------------------

---10 Firsts---
First Best Friend: eileen!
First Pet Name: yao guai![monster!]
First Piercing: NONE.
First Crush: mm, dun remember name.
First CD: Like i can rmb like that.
First School: cck cc =D.
First House Location: Teck Whye Lane. Been here since god knows when lah.
First Kiss: Kiss to my parents, i think.
First Car: I'd like to own a bmw!

---9 Lasts---
Last Time You Smoked: Need i repeat myself?
Last Food You Ate: mac fries.
Last Car Ride: tooooo long ago....
Last Movie You Watched: did i say im a NOOOB? n a POOORRRR 1 at tt?!! =S cant remember =D
Last Phone Call: rarrr! funy little gal in da morning=D.
Last CD You Listened To: angela zhang flowers of paradise or sth liddat. still m listening. bt abit sick. hmm..
Last Bubble Bath You Took: Huh?
Last Song You Listened To: fan kong xiao zu. anti terrorist group--tank.[i JUST chgd cd =D]
Last Words You Said: hahaha.

---8 Have-You-Evers---
Dated A Best Friend: erm ili?**wriggles eyebrows SUPER UBER VIGOROUSLY** nah!~~~ cannooooot...noooo... later sum stiock will head butt me =)
Been Arrested: Thank god, no.
Been On TV: If i'm not wrong, yes.
Eaten Sushi: yesh... but NONE of da RAW stuff. LOVE da salty scallop 1!!
Been On A Blind Date: That's insane. But i'd like to date McFly though.
Been Out Of The Country: Duh. Who hasn't?

---6 Things You've Done Today---
Went cc mug.
jog. [i smell lyk crap now. =) HUR?! noooo tt's not possible...=)]
funny exchnge over fone w little gal.
Sang.
cooked n ate=) SAME thing for breakfast lunch n dinner hoho!
Blogged.

---5 Favorite Things (not in any order)---
bed.
stuffed hippo.
coke.
Food.
Computer/laptop.

---4 People You Most Trust---
ili.
nad.
weilin.
HOHO! no more leh! =S sadly, i dun rilli trust myelf! =D make WRONG deicsiong more than half da tym!! HOHO! lyk deiciding to start this quiz at all! =D

---2 Choices---
Vanilla or Chocolate : Chocolate.
Hugs or Kisses: Kicks or punches.

---1 Person You Want To See Right Now---
I feel like being alone at the moment. hoho! same =)

Fall Out Boy - This ain't a scene, it's an arms race

2007-01-16T16:27:00.001+08:00

WHEESH!!!!! i lyk !! ESP-ly DA constipated singign part! WOSH! :D

Coldplay the scientist backwards part 2!

2007-01-13T14:15:00.001+08:00

RARR!!!! this is da "backwards" of the song, with the events "forwards" RARR!

test test test is HOHOHO!

Coldplay - The Scientist

2007-01-13T14:10:00.001+08:00

RARRR!!!!!! PWETTY old song rarrr!! waahaha jus trying out da post video sect of youtube! whee~~!! o ya, btw, da [cute! =D] english teacher in da china sch i visited used this song to teach ya... damn sad song... rilli awww~~~

RORRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-12T02:29:00.000+08:00

i jus woke up.

i woke up really depressed, upon realising tt today, i have got tons of work tt nds to b done, n still undone. upon realising tt china ppt is today.

i checked my fone.

thn i started luffing. =D almost wanted to CHEER! wahaha!

no, it's not the sms-es.

i simply saw tt it was 2+ only.

duno y. but im MOTHERhappy!

MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!MOTHER!!

hmmz, MOTHER!! repetition makes mums sound lyk ppl catching moths as a profession. RARR! random ROMDNA RANMOD!

sk! RARARARA!

In the face of death, all stands trivial

2007-01-07T03:10:00.000+08:00

life.

ends.

eventually.

i count my blessings many times a day, for having all my loved ones by my side. for being alive.

at 10, as i light up those joss sticks n pray for blessings. i wish for success in my studies, my life.

at 15, i started to pray for everyone in my family. n started to feel tt i've slightly matured n became less self centered, starting to care for my family...

at 17, i pray for everyone in my life. thn i realised tt caring for others, in an indirect sort of way, is my way of being selfish.

bt selfish i'll cont to b.

i won't deny, i fear the cycle of life n death. i fear it, reject it, and try to ignore it. but death has time n again stared me in the face, such tt i cant help but acknowledge its presence. i'm frightened by the fragility of life. by how easily life in a person cn disappear, the way i can choose to shut down this computer.

i cannot stand the thought of losing someone. cant stand the thought of anyone losing something as valuable as life. can't stand the unfairness of it all.

bt i understand that it's inevitable. that 1 day, the one most important to me will pass on. tt one day i will pass on. it's simply a matter of tym. if fate dictates it to b so, i may die in my sleep afterwards. i may, cant rule out that possibility. but if fate decides otherwise, i might live on, n rise to see the sunrise tomorrow; and pray my buddha, see my family once again. for one more day, everyday.

in a way, it boosts me to strive, n work, n leave no regrets. i have to leave one day, my loved ones too. bt we're not leaving behind a life of regrets. no. i want to have everyone look back n smile at the life they had. n perhaps, after that tumult of sadness n despair, we cn smile at wat had been.perhaps.

the human spirit, is irreplaceable. that fighting spirit, that ability to shower care, that strength in adversity. i've witnessed ppl go thru death in remarkable strength. i truly salute them. i'm unsure if i can be the same, bt i hope tt i cn be, for the sake of myself n others.

right now, let me live life fully, with no regrets. live a life of fulfilment. to put it pesimistically, i'm preparing for my n other's passing on. if i cn chg the situation, i will. n i'll try everything. maybe one day during my funeral, ppl will hum to "i'm walking on sunshine... oh oh ooh..."

i'm thankful i can still type. thankful my mum cn still nag.

wat's da greatest wealth in life? the ability to eat shit n sleep. it's true.

i noe it will all end one day. that the day will come, when grades, wages, jobs, gst, politics, terrorism will cease to be of importance. i'm jus refusing to admit it. let me live in denial, up to the day im forced to face up to reality.

i have not been thru the pains of parting.... so i perhaps cant understand as well... bt, i understand enuf to noe... tt it's not sth i want to understand yet.

live on, n live on strong. until the day i lose u, or u lose me; whn tt day comes, we'll live on even stronger thn before. take each stride in life with more confidence n strength, guarded by blessings of our loved ones, whether or not thy are physically thr.

b4 i run out of tym. i love u. to everyone in my life.

sk

p/s: i was struck by the sudden gush of helplessness against the vicious cycle of life. wahaha i had to pen [or rather, type this down. i name this day, the day i once again woke up to the truth of life!! =D rarrr, dont worry, i'm not thinking of suicide, just in case anyone worries about tt. i'm perfectly calm, n i'm aiming to live on to a ripe age. just, facing up. =) really =)

haa, i myt just decide to do sth completely unlyk me. sth out of my world. something crazy. wahaha. ALL IN THE SPRIT OF LIFE! =D

finally, i apologise fr this out of the ordinary post :)

UP NEXT! cloned cows moo moo!!

2006-12-31T11:49:00.000+08:00

RARRR!!!!!!!!! wahaha, jus read tt cloned food cld b up for sales in america next yr!! RARRARARA!!!!! cool idea huh??! all this CLONING stuff!!

whee, imgine a few yrs frm now rarrrr...

no nd to cry over spilled guts!:
wah seh!! my dog dying sia!! HOW? CLONE! old dog? nvm la...

no nd to cry over empty stomach!:
still v hungry!! clone la! clone clone clone kill kill kill!! EAT!

no nd to cry over lack of ppl!
s'pore is undergoing a low birth rate, aging popu era.. n in our view, the most viable soltion wld b to... CLONE!! CLONE you!!CLONE you!!CLONE you!!CLONE you!!CLONE you!!CLONE you!!CLONE you!!CLONE you!!n maybe clone lots n lots of ME!!!!! RARRR! world dominance!! go mo jo jo jo!!!!!!!

dun even nd to cry over lack of $$ for enuf clones u noe!!!!
i save money...make ONE clone... we both go work!! make more money!! each 1 makes ONE more clone! so now, we hav FOUR! work work clone clone work work clone clonework work clone clone work work clone clonework work clone clone work work clone clonework work clone clone work work clone clonework work clone clone work work clone clone!! RARRR!!!!!! thn thr'll b lotsa lotsa ME!!!! doesnt tt sound lyk binary fission??!! =D YESH??!!! YAR!! cool ryt!!! now we r as gd as BACTERIAS!!! RARRRR!!!!!!!

i love cloning. right.

ks

p/s rarrR! m friggin bored... pls pardon this post n make yourself blind =)now, i shd've said this at the top of da post ah? ok lor! clone n paste above then! =)

LOOOOOng qnair kop frm nad =)

2006-12-26T02:12:00.001+08:00

Describe yourself in 7 words: smart gorgeous king of the world sk-ish [ tt jus means the best in evting in all degrees=D, don’t tell me I exceeded 7 words! No! =D hu cares bout the word limit anyway?! =D]

What's the best feeling in the world? Being around friends!!

Who do you consider your bestest friends? RARRR!!!!!!! Mmm… haha… nad-my wife! Li-my black! Cal-my comrade! Qp-my bitch! Weilin-my bimbo! XY-my pee!! [haa she jux sent me a farni msg!! "friendship is lyk peeing in ur pants, everyone sees it but only yew can feel the true warmth of it"LOL!!! =D

What do you think of most? Hmmz… think of most? Most what? Most ppl ? most things? RARRR… nvm…tt’s how I 1st undrstd it… mmm FOOOD!!!!!!! Definitely! RARRRR!

Who do you think of most? Rarrrr . I duno leh…

Why do you think people love you? ___________________________________________ [fill in da blanks =)]

Why do you think people hate you? Ahhhh hate me?? NO….. =D… maybe cuz erm… aiya I duno la! Pek chek leh! How m I supposed to noe??!! RARRR!!!!!!! If thy hate me thy wun tok to me wun tell me y thy hate me wun noe y thy hate me wun b able to type anything…thn I’ll jus have to ans aiya I duno la! Pek chek leh! How m I supposed to noe??!! RARRR!!!!!!! If thy hate me thy wun tok to me wun tell me y thy….

What could you live without? Mmm, I cn live without erm, erm, erm. I cn live without a world without food n friends =)

What do you regret most in life? Being so forgetful n disorganized!! =D bt thn again, sumtyms it’s quite fun la…=D

What say you of your first sexual experience? Oh it was jus great man!!!! orlando bloom really loved it =) RARRR!!!!!

Would you rather be alone or be with people you can't stand? Hello!!!!!!!! Alone!! At least I owaes enjoy my own company RARRA! Self entertaining man! I’ll die if I had to live a single day w/o myself =)

What don't you understand? Why I’m doing this quiz =D RARR!

Who was your first love? What happened? Erm, my love had a couple of aliases…lyk…sk la…skae la… seowken la…nekwoes la…

What's your best memory? Memories of my secsch yrs =)

What's your worst memory? Memories of dreams in which I lose someone dear =S SCARY!!!!

Is there someone you need to forgive? Errr…if I need to I wld have done so la… thn thr wld b no more ryt? =D bt rather!! I have ppl hu nds to forgive ME! RARRR!

What's your earliest memory? I gt 2!! =D damn cool! 1st !! me sitting bside my mom, in front of our coffee table in the living room. I was watching her make newspaper cuttings! [duno y…=S] n most mportantly!! I was in a super UGLY hair!! WAHAHAH damn farni hair!! =D n erm CUTE[ya, erm cute without much of da adorable la hor…=D]! =D yellow shirt n red shorts!! =D. 2nd!! Having my bro ask me y I lyk to cover myself up so closely whn I slp. I went “cosy cosy!” I still gt hell for that “COSY COSY!” WTH! =D

Change something. Change ppl’s inevitable want to change every little something RARR!!!

What do you fear most? Losing someone important to me.

Who can you count on? NADHIRAH!! =D flat enuf to write on! =D wahaha so cn do maths!! [count??!! Get it??=D]

What do you do in your spare time? Rarr doing nth bttr to do quizzes lyk this one!! =D [no, not rilli, I actually have a llife =)]

What flatters you? Myself? [FLATter =D]

What pisses you off? A full bladder!!! RARRR! It goes PEWSH!!!!!!!!!!!! Off man! **spray spray!!**

NP!- catching on the tide of nostalgia b4 it recede

2006-12-23T03:53:00.000+08:00

RARR!!! had a BBQ w da dudes on tues[19th] bit sad tt not many ppl turned up...=( bt nvm tt!! =D was way nice to c da old faces agaiN!=D RARR!!!!

haa...tt day xy passed me a cd of fotos to pass to nad... n pass i havent, bt looked thru i did.. =) b4 u say i was peeping... i sorta had permission to ok!! =D me:"i oso wan da pics!! " xy:" thn u cn gt frm nad wat!!=D" i presume it's this same cd ...so yap... lkd thru it....=D. i hope u dun mind!! =D

wahhhhhhh....i rilli rilli rilli miss it.. those days... those buddies!! those jokes, quarrels, punishments, drills, cis, ncos, cadets...=) I LOVE NP!!!!!!!!!!! rilli rilli do!!!!!!!! ahhh~

haha...lk thru da pics... n remembered many many things... haha... saw da ci's video's!!!-got...ade jinhui honglim qihui hongyun junjie junwei mu liang- FARNNY!!!haa... speaking of CIs...im very interested to noe!! n owaes wanted to ask... what happened then ah? haha i seriously have bad memory... all i remember was tt 1 moment we were joking, playing.. all nice, friendly... thn it all became hostile. what happened? was it something we did? or did not do?? hmmz... it continues to baffle me... wahhh... a yr ago, mm i myt b slightly irritated now, recalling this...haa, 2006 has done lots... i feel ready to discuss this man!! jus tok bout wat happened, wat went rong, possibly laugh at our then childish ways, n thn walk away with a gd impression of each other...=) idealistic ? maybe bah... =) bt i dun tk it's TT impossible ...

another thing, our squad... haa... sometyms... i wish our NP life ended at sec3 level. really. tt of cus is nt possible, bt im allowed to have impossible dreams ryt? =D i dont noe... but i think, in sec 4... we all drifted apart ah?? into our starting to form cliques, whr the noisy n irritating gets noisy n irrtating-er [i noe i noe...meme!! :D], the quiet gt quieter, the isolated, gt erm isolateder haa... it's saddening tt our final yr turned out lyk tt... all the conflicts, b it in the dark or light...all the TOs..[o my tian!!]...the worsening rapport w da CIs...it's almost heart wrenching... tt's one thing tt hasnt chgd since the past... what happened?? hmmz... i have no idea...

haa... i'm trying to resolve unresolved conflicts here man!!seeking answers for unanswered questions.. =D really.. haha, cus i didn't want myself to b thinking of the same things as i m now, when i recall the best time in my life...say 5 yrs down the road...

anyhows! i want an NP camp!! i want the sweat the mud the internal swearing the laugh the camp! =D [effect of lking thru atc pics] let's have one nxt yr dec k?? pls?? haa... thn let's do the same old things over again man!! pitch tent!! [dang !!i miss pegging!!=D]haa, let's invite da CI n NCOs back to torment us man!! =D RARRR!!!!!!!!

sk

shit tt was TOTALLY random...LOL..=D

which reminds me... have u eaten a stingray today?

hmm... nth..nth much... jus asking... random qn..=)

i will carry my crimes.

2006-12-22T23:27:00.001+08:00

it's ancient. and i most probably shouldn't rake this up n open up old wounds. but, i don't want to leave things hanging.

why did i allow it to end that way?

why did i make it so?

im sorry.

my secondary school years- especially the times i had with my np buddies- was, is and most probably will continue to be the best time of my entire life. that still hold true, the only difference now, is that i'm starting to see what lies underneath the pretty facade. the blood, hurt, pain, sadness of others. i plead guilty.

i'm sorry.

i'm aware that no amount of apology can make up for the hurt i've caused. but that's the only thing i can do within my powers. im sorry.

i really didn't mean to hurt, or spoil that special day for u- our one and only ROD... really didn't mean to. neither did i mean to cause hurt with my actions, but trust me, our intentions were not as you thought they were. in fact, we didn't intend anything at all. but it's the unthinking that really hurts i understand.

i didn't know how much hurt i was causing anyone. i was oblivious, and you can say- and i won't deny- i was too caught up in myself. i didn't see you, nor your pain. it only came into view that I was being accused wrongly, and that made everything worse. i only saw myself, saw my side of the story. i failed to see your pain, or the insecurities that pushed you to think the way you did. it's all clear and logical now. it wasn't then. ahh...it's coming back to me now... what happened... vicious cycle. now that sounds like an excuse.

i had shamelessly forgotten about whatever had happened; became blind when the hurt i caused throbs on. i wasn't even aware.

have you forgotten? i hope so. and i sincerely hope time has healed... i'm ashamed of what i had been, what i had done, what my childishness had caused.

i'm sorry that your memory of something so magical and memorable had to be tainted by me. it's too late to make amends now.

i'm sorry that i allowed things to end the way they did.

i sincerely wish that you never have to meet anyone else like me in your life ever again. may your life be ever blissful. but can i shamelessly request? can we bury the hatchet? can you forgive me? and let everything return to when we were 14? haa i'm being childish again- my living in the past. haa... nvm i said tt. =)

sk

2006-12-15T13:43:00.000+08:00

The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss.

--langston hughes

love this poem. wahaha guess da title man!! =D shd b quite obvious...

The Negro Speaks of Rivers

I've known rivers:
I've known rivers ancient as the world and older than the
flow of human blood in human rivers
My soul has grown deep like the rivers.
I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young
I built my hut near the Congo and it lulled me to sleep.
I looked upon the Nile and raised the pyramids above it.
I heard the singing of the Mississippi when Abe Lincoln
went down to New Orleans, and I've seen its muddy
bosom turn all golden in the sunset
I've known rivers:
Ancient, dusky rivers.
My soul has grown deep like the rivers.

by Langston Hughes

wahaha... reading abit of poetry here and thr....=D quite fun realli... when you want sth to do...=D mmm...chk out langston hughes!! and emily dickinson!!

ALRYT!! haa...nad asked for a post...lol..ya...so i randomly put sth up...=D wahaha I FRIGGIN' ROCK AYE?! =D

now for da poem's title!!..

**drumroll**

suicide's note.

beautiful aye?

my 10 laps under water on a single breathe

2006-12-06T22:53:00.000+08:00

wahaha...

plenty has happened... n erm, lemmi jus blog bout it la hor?? =D wahaha lazy to beat about the bush as usual la.. =D

ALRYT! **warning: u myt not wana read what i wrote la.... it's not interesting lol...seriously... not in a proper writing mood... jus diarhhoea for my own pleasure... ya...aft all tt constipation in china...so erm...pls dont read it... it'll bore u... dont say i din warn u ...=D da china trip part esp-ly lols..**

china exchange trip

well... let's see.., it was a short but long but memorable trip. let's c... i wasnt excited about going realli... but it turned out to be pretty interesting an experience.. let's see.... we did the standard stuff: the walks in the park; up the great wall; shopping ( my tian~ those dudes r serious aunties whn it comes to shopping!! bargain bargain!! MORE SHOPPING!!lol...=D) thn we also had the standard exchange trip stuff: the lesson observations; pottery n paper cutting; n well, MORE lesson observations [trust i was erm, observing the lessons... MOST INTENTLY! =D o yes i was!! =D] can u tell i'm v lazy to update by now??=D WELL! for want of sth to do...i shall trudge on...=D mmm let's comment la hor.. wahaha

went to 2 schools: shida FU ZHONG , n SHI DA

FU ZHONG: pleasant place la... mmm... they were well, flushed with cash; or at least as flushed with cash as flushed with cash can get in china... =) but the school realli was quite cool la... had PLENTY of exhibtions. it was basically a museum-cum-billard centre-cum-science centre-cum-etc... yap... nice new labs.. had interesting [what do u call tt?] samples?? erm... wtv u call it la... those things u dissect n put in glass bottles... *pardon me!* but i found tt realli cool lol... erm, saw quite a few things tt were interesting: foetuses; preserved animals [hell! they were well preserved ]; intestines ya... thy had nice butterfly beetles samples too, along some corridor thing. ya. the ppl were, well, erm, polite? =)

SHI DA: haa...love this school... it wasn't as well off as fu zhong -less heaters!- but i felt warmth in the cold winter there. haha... simply welcoming. *big smile!!** =Ddont think i nd to say too much la... it was a wonderful place. =)

too lazy to cont. haha... let's see..

PEOPLE! wahaha we were a team of 24 students, 4 un-teacherish-teachers, 2guides, a busdriver, n 2-erm- LOVELY!! -o yes!! =)- agents =)

students:

let's see... haha, ppl i should count my blessings for... haha, i rilli think im quite blessed... havent been made to work with anyone whom i horribly hate [HAH! ALLI- u noe what i'm gona say la hor...=D] mm, these were the ppl who made the trip so enjoyable la... met many new faces-never seen b4 1s... good lot they r... good lot.. lemmi list ah...

joey yannming anqi **cough cough!!**==>> lol, non sleepers at night haha, astrology pro's the 2 guys, esp joey ... n apparently yannming's da china gal type... my tian!! 2 schools!! BOTH schools!! all da gals went gaga over him!! my tian... if thy came to s'pore... =D haa, u noe what's worse... din tell many ppl this =D but haha...the gals in one of da schs even found their maths teacher cute. [imagine curly hair middle age kopitiam gg uncle with maths knowledge. AN ABSOLUTE TOM CRUISE! =)] speaks much bout yann ming doesnt it ? =D wahaha...

deborah weifen liwei==>> SWAN LAKE!! =D let's recount. *imagine millitary museum** it was a nice typical patriotic day in the museum... the exhibition hall was apparently empty... oo, nice glossy floor! NICE ECHO gg!! lovely empty space... perfect setting for a dance. n dance we did. swan lake!! titititititititiTITIITITIII.!!! can guess what happened la hor... **u r nv alone~~~~** haha, 1 bunch of crazy dudes!! =D so much fun with them!! =D luff luff luff until i got six packs i think!! =D damn farni!!! =D haa...did plenty of stoopid things w/ them...

jieying n xiaoxin!! **careful!!=D** haha jieying!! my fellow noise maker...until she lost her voice LOL! xiao xin!! =D da zai 1 lor...=D lyk dunid slp 1 leh!! =D meeting for speech she owaes the most awake 1!! wahaha farni woman...=D i shant start bout falling asleep during meetings...=D

celine alice bixia!! =D haha celine another mad 1...=D so thin u dare complain u fat!! dammit la u...alice!! =D gifts com 1...=D frenship bands made how many?? =D standard la... haha i noe i kp buggin u lor..soli boss soli..=D finally bixia!! =D haha jian gui ah!! **quoted=D** powderful la! rarely c her wear gloves lor...=D cold lyk mad summore...=D

michelle n jesmine!! =D wakaka michelle oso abit crap la sumtyms...=D haha...big listener to chi music too!! =D jesmine!! lol..SORRY! haha, cracked her cam lcd screen...=S **feel bad**

wenzong kai SIANG ang SIANG XIANG rong wen XIANG ian: lol... the super niam gay gang =D lol...do evthing together la thy all... haha.. shop oso thy shop the most...my tian... wat's rong w/ all da guys on this trip?! haha, super pro at taking random farni fotos...=D n i suspect!! ang siang n wenzong!! =S haa, n im nt alone wor...=D hahaa... funny grp of ppl!! =D still remember the HEART ATTACK! =D LOL!!!!!! ian : XIN ZANG BING!! wahseh, n da farni actions for silent heart attack...wah lau..=D

edmund n skai==>> lol, quiet zai dudes...chiong all da way la for great wall!! =D wahaha lol... v noble spirited oso... volunteer to wake ev1 up leh!! n i still remember skai 1st nyt funni..=D call just to say... gd nyt!! LOL...=D

florence ivy==>> farnni gals!! =D haha super vain la...=D take foto liao still mus foto shop...lol.. n super evil at truth or dare dares..

damn i miss da freedom i had thr...=D

hahaha, typing diarhoea... i seriously hope u din jus read thru tt... it's realli nt interesting at all...=D just for my own entertainment...

astro chalet

wah seh... lazy to type too much... 1st day...we took 2 hrs [ryt?] trying to start da damn bbq fire...wah lau... hungry lyk anithing!!

2nd day!!haha...damn fun!! cycled lyk nobudi's business...[HELL YES I CAN CYCLE!! on a double bike.. =D NOO...u din jus c tt..] ANYWAY! cycled to chngi village on the spur of da moment... haha, edwin damn farni...

me + some1 else: eh! we cycle to changi village la!!

ed: ON la! wan go anot?? chop chop!! let's go man!! chop chop!! [wah seh...we were not v serious bout it... cus nobudi knew the direction...=.=]

n guess what?? we rilli din know the directions LOL!!... know what we did?? we cycled around the perimeter of changi airport....win liao... thn went down a spiderweb full path [doesnt tt scream WRONG WAY!! my tian..plenty of ppl cycle to changi v frm east coast lor...lol..] bt we wennt on anyway....kp asking taxi drivers for directions... thn finally when we were about to reach [by some good grace from above ]... passed by these few changi bungalows ah... DAMN SPOOKY! looked freakin haunted la!! seriously... hu wld "pour" creeper plants out of their windows n porch... **imagine windows w/ creepers climbing out...** thn weirdly shine spooky white lights from ground floor onto the building, nice idea man... it looks great... added plenty of beauty!! =)!! =.=... ANYWAYS!! we went thr expecting to meet some ineteresting ppl*ahem* , bt we reached at 4.30. =.= woah...i met plenty of cats... LOVELY! anyways... we got so tired...nobudi cld cycle back la...haha...thn xiao chien came up with this brilliant idea... lol..HITCH A HIKE! n hitch a hike we did.. [brilliant wasnt it??!! LOL....=D] haha we were eyeing this lorry tt happened to pass by...thn it stoppped... out came the uncle...went to buy kopi...thn we laid in ambush around his lorry....n...n...NN... whn he returned.......................WE POUNCED!!! haha.... a super nice man... super touched...super hapy..=) thanx uncle!! =D he was in a hurry la....bt he took pity on us anyway... aww so nice!! =D MY 1ST HITCH HIKING experience!! damn cool!! =D

metro -SIF santaland duty

i will not elaborate too much... blogged for too long hahaha.... mmm, out of the 4 days i went, 3 days the machine play punk w/ me sia....=D lol... erm, shant comment too much on the ppl hu refused... thy happen to b well, nvm... but hu says s'poreans lack compassion?? esp da older ones...=) nice response!! realli loved it!! =D haha... 2 of the donors [feels odd] left me with a v deep impression.

1. mr nice guy

haha, some 1 approached him for pic... he" im too old for da pic la.." me:"how bout just a small donation?? **thn go on bout da charity cambodia etc**" haha... he donated 10@@!! note: each pic was 5.. so nice!! =D bt tt's not the most oomph thing.. aft donating he "whr r u guys frm?" me"pioneer junior college" he:" ahh~~ good good...keep it up..=) im very proud of u guys..=)" ahhh~~ felt uber nice=)

2. nice family..

haha, im guilty of judging ppl from how they dress la... cus i din exactly wana pressure any1 into donating if thy dont want to... so i normally go for those who look more well off..since they prob have more to spare... ya.. bt i still target any1 hu fall into my zone...so ya...thr was this family... didnt dub prada gucci, not even hangten bossini...in fact, thy went about as branded as bibi n baba.. bt i went up to thm anyway... =) haha...thn did my standard speech...thy too refused da pic...thn i went donation? thn the family [entire family mind you, mother father child child] nodded at each other..=)n guess wat....thy donated 40...n even refused da voucher booklet.. [haa...bt i forced it on thm la...=D]wow.. tt simple gesture taught me quite alot... ya... wow... amazing ppl...

BUT, thr were the shit la... esp whn the machine go UFUFUVUJFDDTUFUJ&%&#^$&R&^... ya... tio scolding oso...haha...but nvm!! the customer is always right! =.=

yap... thn went on to preps for presentation on china trip... tt was much much much slower paced... **my breather =)**

tired. drained.. hhaa...shall go now..bubbye! =D

i hope the sun never set =)

for i shall cease to exist

wahaaha booored=D

2006-11-17T11:05:00.000+08:00

Your Brain is 47% Female, 53% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

You Are Pretty Logical

You're a bit of a wizard when it comes to logic
While you don't have perfect logic, you logic is pretty darn good
Keep at it - you've got a lot of natural talent in this area!

How Logical Are You?

You Are A Loyal Sidekick

While you aren't the most visable one in your group...
You're always up for a good time or conversation
And you stick with your friends no matter what
You may feel underappreciated - but it only seems that way!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

You are 67% Aquarius

How Aquarius Are You?

43% wackio??

You Should Drive a Lamborghini

A true daredevil, you're always in search of a new rush. Clearly, you're a total speed demon... just don't get caught!

What Sports Car Should You Drive?

Woo hoo!

Your Inner Blood Type is AB!

Your personality is hard to define - you're very unconventional.
And even if your personality could be defined, it would be completely different next week!
Outgoing and shy, sensitive and thoughtless, you tend to have a very split personality.
This makes you unpredictable. You can be a total angel - and a total devil.

You are most compatible with: everyone!

Famous Type AB's: Jackie Chan and Marilyn Monroe

What's Your Inner Blood Type?

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Li is your soulmate.

You truly love Xy.

You consider Qingpei your true friend.

You know that Calista is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Glad for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Weilin is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Naz is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Nadhirah is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Nadhirah changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Jiahao is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Jiahao has a hidden internet romance.

What Do You Think of Your Friends?

Hahaa!!!!! NAD!!! U CHG LOVERS LIKE UNDEWEAR!!!!!! =D lol… ur underwear must stink man!!! HAHA!!!!! =D btw, I don’t SECRETLY think u’re loyal to me… I OPENLY think so!! BOW TO ME!! RYT NOW!!! RARRR!!!!!!

N, XY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MARRY ME DAMMIT!!! =D

this was how i classed u dudes =D

Of all of the people you know, who reminds you of:
1. The color yellow: calista
2. The color orange: qingpei
3. The color red: xy
4. The color white: Li
5. The color green: glad
6. Chocolate: weilin
7. Vanilla: naz [farni!! contrast seh!! =D]
8. A saltine cracker: jiahao
9. A meat snack: nad [wahahaha!!! meat snack!]

Your Emoticon Is Smiling

Right now, you're feeling cheerful and content - without a care in the world.

What Emoticon Best Represents You Right Now?

Your Aura is Yellow

You're a deeply happy and content person, and you enjoy sharing your cheer with others.
While you may seem like a simple optimist, there is a lot of thinking going on inside you.

The purpose of your life: bringing joy and a better life to others

Famous yellows include: Conan O'Brien, Jenny Mccarthy, Jim Carrey

Careers for you to try: Athlete, Actor, Yoga Instructor

What Color Is Your Aura?

Your Extroversion Profile:

Cheerfulness: Very High

Excitement Seeking: High

Sociability: High

Activity Level: Medium

Friendliness: Medium

Assertiveness: Very Low

How Extroverted Are You?

You Should Rule Saturn

Saturn is a mysterious planet that can rarely be seen with the naked eye.

You are perfect to rule Saturn because like its rings, you don't always follow the rules of nature.
And like Saturn, to really be able to understand you, someone delve beyond your appearance.

You are not an easy person to befriend. However, once you enter a friendship, you'll be a friend for life.
You think slowly but deeply. You only gain great understanding after a situation has past.

ASTRO ALL DA WAY!!!!

You Have Fantastic Karma

You are a kind, sensitive, and giving person.
And all your good deeds will pay off - if they haven't already.
But you're not so concerned with what you get in return anyway.
You have an innate caring nature - and nothing can change that!

How's Your Karma?

You Are Chocolat Orange Pocky

Your attitude: funky and flavorful
Rich and deep - yet zingy and zesty
You are the perfect partner in crime

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

wth...=.=" thr's such a flavor??

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

Your Fortune Is

7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

Your Fortune Is

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

Your Fortune Is

Woman who wear G-string is high on crack.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

Your Fortune Is

Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets, not feeling crazy, feeling nuts.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

Your Fortune Is

It is better to lose a lover than love a loser.

haa...i love da fortyune cookie thingy =D

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

haha...words r so over-rated..

2006-11-12T00:04:00.000+08:00

eh~~ hah i dun wana say too much...=D but.. da 2 songs pretty much sums up wtv i hav to say. SORRY IT'S CHINESE!!

有你真好

这时候

最能让我想起你

多希望你在这里

你总是愿意

把你的手心借给我握紧

该往哪里

我总是依赖着你

你是我的方向感

我可以确定

你会带着我朝对的方向前进

i'm thinking of you

我有你真好

你能让烦恼变得渺小

我遇见一个最懂我的人

我会提醒自己把这份爱收好

i'm thinking of you

我有你真好

只要牵着你的手就知道

我不是一个人在这世界停靠

因为我拥有你

在我心里

i'm thinking of you

有你真好

thinking of you

因为有你我看见世界的美丽

i'm thinking of you

我有你真好

只要牵着你的手就知道(我就知道)

我早已经没有任何缺少

因为我拥有你在我心里

一个像夏天一个像秋天

第一次见面看你不太顺眼

谁知道后来关系那么密切

我们一个像夏天一个像秋天

却总能把冬天变成了春天

你拖我离开一场爱的风雪

我背你逃出一次梦的锻炼

遇见一个人然后生命全改变

原来不是恋爱才有的情节

如果不是你

我不会相信

朋友比情人还死心塌地

就算我忙恋爱

把你冷冻结冰

你也不会恨我

只是骂我几句

如果不是你

我不会确定

朋友比情人更懂得倾听

我的胸怀志意

我的有口无心

我离不开darling更离不开你

你了解我所有得意的东西

拆穿我留些意怕我忘形

你知道我所有丢脸的事情

却为我的美好形像保密

i haha rilli dun wana write too much la... =D dun lyk mush...=D

since everyone's doing it...

2006-11-09T08:02:00.000+08:00

I'LL DO A TRIBUTE TO PW TOOO!!! =D wakaka ahhh~~ woke up wayyyyyyy too early n cldnt gt back to slp....bt at least i wont snooze 8-9 tyms....=D**coughs: silei!**

wakaka alryt!! a tribute to pw....let's run through that entire journey...=)

well, personally...=) i m one person who really loves projects....n my -chokes: super uber gullible- take on pw was tt....well, IT"S GONA B SO FUN!!!!

i was so wrong...=D

o yar...entire journey.. ryt. start of pw...
haha...i admit...i was super worried about who my grp members r... n whn i saw my grp....i felt hmm... alryt... looks harmless....let's hope thy actualli talk. N UDUV^&%%&GSDTS%$EFSCHTDYD!!!!!!!!! to my utmost surprise!! they TALK!!!!! n they speak english!! wow!!! i actualli UNDERSTOOD n wat's more!! we cld COMMUNICATE! wow damn it...=) lol... but other than lyn..... thy were all unfamiliar faces n voices ... n **osh! new discovery** thy were from all the diff cliques in class!! =O! haha...lei frm changyu eileen etec clique...sam frm da guys (??!!) clique....weikit frm wk ed pair....me n lyn frm s05 pae grp... yah.....i was...erm...abit...fearful...n v careful..... it was lyk tiptoe-ing on the edge of a volcanoe crater.... haha danger zone for me... (hmm...or issit the same for all beings on earth??...does ev1 find danger in tiptoeing on the edge of a volcanoe crater? I HAVE NO IDEA....=D) yah....i felt lyk things cld v easily fall either way... so i was v careful....with my words my actions...

>>im gona leave out PI since it has gt nth rilli to do w/ the grp...<<

o shit...thn i cant remember wt's nxt
**chks slei's blog**

OK! gpp! =D haha...we chose wk proposal on the s-league... welll erm... let me re-do tt... we EVENTUALLY chose wk's proposal on the s-league.... god noes how many tyms we chgd our proposal... but yah.... even aft we handed in our gpp we were thinking of chging it ryt!!! =D haha cuz we all, except wk.. were noobs whn it came to soccer....n esp-ly s-league...=D [haha at least lyn now noes tt da cute dude she sees in front of da goal post is lionel lewis... or wait..as lyn wld go...OR issit lewis lionel??!! lionel lewis lionel lionel ya...=D LOL!]

along came WR...this for me...was rilli da hardest part la....bt thinking back...i wld conclude tt...it was rilli da highlight of the project for me!! =D haha it was damn memorable la!!! =D esp-ly da surveys!!!! =DLOL!! i still remember da survey ah.... we went to mac 1st.... gt ili to pilot run da survey...n damn it!! so mani frickin mistakes!! =O!!!! =D lol...n all [was it 56??] da surveys were printed out!!! OMG!! n guess wat we did....one by one edit with pen.....WAH SEH! i omost peng...=D thn we went on to doing da actual survey.... haha went to cck MRT.... ask ask ask.... thn tot... hey!! maybe interchange will be bttr!! =D ...n so we went to da interchg. n. erm. NVM! we went back to da MRT station...=D wahaha damn hot...=D bt nvm!! thr gt tis lady singing[basking....sumhow an image of suntanning popped out..=S] ...v nice!! =D celine dion song sumore... haha.. ok. nvm...bt it got TOO hot... n so we went to lot1... o yay....we were happily surveying... [n we made da conclusion tt uncles lyk me best....=D... WAHA!] yah...esp-ly happy cus got aircon...[ahhh~~] survey survey survey. along came da security guard. [i tk security guards rilli hate my face =S owaes gt into trouble w/ thm....=D if not thn thy wld gt be just urgh! remmber amunching race?? YA LA!! tt man!! grrr..=D] ya. anyway....along came da security guard. first....he skulked around... thn he waited..... n whn we went up to a lady n ask...hey ma'am... hey cam n use his walkie talkie antenna [walkie talkie dammit! wat! i v dirty ah!! huh! =D lol.. ] w/ a frickin condescending expression...he started... **indian accent** "you cannot do surveys here... u have to leave" =.= ok. fine. =.= ya i noe he's doing is job....but wat's w da condescension!! [**sob** u try la survey!! **slap forehead**] so. guess whr we went?? =D ya. mrt stn again. [3rd tym!! =D] haha....okay....this recount is taking way toooooo long...=D i'll exercise my amazing summary skills! =D alryt... haha so we finished our surveys...n took extremely long breaks...[longer thn we took to survey i tk lol...=D] n we went to do our data analysis. CAN DIE!!!!!! haha work until wat 4?? =D lol... slei n I.... haha zombied da nxt day.... O. n id i mention this is only the 1st round of surveys? yah. we did another round. *peng* BUT! thistym....we stayed faithful to da MRT....=D haha... alot of crap la surveying!! =D haha u noe da MRT survey form thing? da 1 w a blank face in front? red colour?? yah.... gt bored of surveying...=D thn went to draw tt.....n we dong EVting into da survey box...=D we were trying to hlp man!!! =Dwe noe how hard it is to get feedback frm da pubic [waha! i did tt onpurpose...made this mistake for my PI...n i forgot to chg it **omg*] o yes we did... yah.... haha da whole surveying thing was osh man!! :D lol....alll tt green tao huey...=D n excitement over green tao huey.... n da stone small small ice cream thing...n the EXCITEMENT over how da machine delivered da ice cream... [damn cool! :D ooo!] n da buying a sweet just so we cn buy da ice cream lol....**slapforehead* FUN! BUT in all...WR was tough. so tough... i omost snapped la...TT wk!! i remember... my temper was lyk... osh! at least in da mornings whn i went to sch aft nt slping... lol...1 wk!! 3 days i thk!! =D slei stayed up oso .... wah lao...hell la...so many drafts...=D finally... da entire WR...felt real good.... i noe how to use excel now!! :D self taught leh!! :D dam proud of myself **pats myself on da back** SK U ROCK MAN!! :D

ahhh tribute became a freakin recount... :D lol.. nvm!! if not i'll forget all about it!! it's good i suppose! :D

thn came OP. wow. i was so aamazed w/ how evting flowed...:D n i rilli mus say this... :D i thk we owe quite alot to slei's slides...haha 1st one to make da slides...:D lol... it set the benchmark pretty high for the enitre grp...**stress stress** so...we slogged for the OP too....:D LKF rilli liked it tho!!! :D im happi la...n proud of our grp...happy tt we finally did sth tt cn make her happy...i think we owe her too much... too much... but anyhows... :D OP was smooth sailing all da way.... went way bttr thn WR did i tk....maybe cuz we had more tym... :D haha...the day before da OP was da best man!! :D total slack day actualli....ate like anithing in the world.... bit lazy to type too much....so i'll run thru it... =D...ya....aft da tech run on tues... [bit of hiccup cuz da entire cls tot it's 2-4 whn it's 10-12...lol...call call call.... n erm.. had sum1 vvvv UNEXPECTED n abit freaky call me...**cough** cant say it here....bt da pw dudes shd noe la hor...:D] we were wodering if we shd go ahead w/ da expt tt we had in mind frm the start of prep...jus tt...well...we nv did do it...:D lol... partly cus we cldnt gt jersey......pat bp naz all din hav...so was bit unsure if we cld gt any soccer jerseys.... but in the end...JEROME!!!!!!! ahhh!!! i owe u big tym!! :D lol... ahhh~~~ yap...sms-ed jh n jer...n jer replied he has 1!!! :D happi lyk aniting... n so....me n slei went to bp to get da jersey frm him... n so it all begins... 1st we went to da ntuc to gt him chocs...n slei bought sweets... n thn to bp we went....aft we gt da jersey...went on our way to woodlands...lyn's hse...to take a vid... lol... haha...went past cck...[tk lrt...] decided to alight n eat tea leaf egg...[cha ye dan!! :D] thn play w da hamster...:D haha thn went to woodlands to take bus to lyn's hse.... on the way...went to causeway to eat old chang kee..... thn tk bus to lyn's hse...ACCIDNETALLY!! alighted 1 stop earlier.. stopped at pasar malam..... we were resolved not to eat more actualli....bt TT GAL!!! she HAD to walk pass w tt waffer hotdog... ya , so u noe wat happened... LOL.... SO! =D we finally got to lyn hse at 3++ [we left sch at round 1 =X] n erm... well, while waiting for da homeunited jersey frm da homunited player cum liyana neighbour dude to come home..... we watched princess hours vcd!! :D n erm...well, since it's raya... we well... let's just say thr was a lotta goodies at lyn's hse...thn we were afraid thy'll go bad... =D n erm...wait till around 5+++ lol...we saw da neighbour mother leaving da hse!! **target leaving target leaving!! get ready ambush!! ** so we gave chase...haha n she went back to da hse w us to get da jersey. n GUESS WAT! :D tt dude was at home all along......=.= YAH. so we tk da vid.... n lyn cooked [argh! more food!=X] n we left her hse at 8?? ya... bt!! da expt was rejected....all da HARD WORK! [it was hard ok!!! :D] went down da drain...bt nvm....

thn came actual op... hai..... u noe wat thy say? the higher your expectations, the harder u fall.... im not being ego here.... bt i rilli felt our slides were gd.....re affirmed by mdm lin too.... n well, we were amg da best in our cls...if nt so... bt we messed up la...on tt day.... it was ...depressing.... so...ya.... tho the others left da cls all smiles....ours was the only grp hu left it. with . well sadness? yah...was disapointed la... bt it's oer liao.... at least we noe we tried...haha maybe slei... lyk wat u said... u win some u lose some... WR was tough...bt it came out well.... so smooth sailing OP, jus had to kick us in da butt whn we least expected it to...WELL! nvm!! it's all over now!! :D

ya... n so... this marks the end of our pw journey.... n i rilli must say... i ...grew up ...quite abit....learnt alot... so yar. dun abolish pw!! [ POOH! tt was all shit talk...actual fact... if we had to suffer... y shdnt da juniors??!! :D BURN!! BURN!! BURN IN HELL YA ALL!! :D] haha.. if aniting came out of pw...i found a new friend!! :D haha no its not u slei... :D

ya so. bye bye pw!! :D

9:11 now...i started at 7.30 omg!

i still have 1 more thing to say!! :D nostalgia nostalgia.... :D no matter how nice the present or future may be... the past will always...always b nice.... in a different kind of niceness.... it's like a quiet loyal comfort.... sth u cn count on...sth u cn turn to... sth tt i wld always love... :) .... did i mention i woke up way too early today?? ya... 6... i woke up at 6... [haha jia hao like slept at 6??] :D lol...anyhows... my bro. jus ORD-ed... so saw some [alliteration! HAH! :D] of his stuff.... KIWI... ahh~~~~ n guess wat i did?? :D i took out my own boots... n started polishing... it's a thurs morn....bt it felt lyk a sat early morn... whn i crawl up to prep my full u for np... it was nice... i was smiling as i polished..[hell!! tt was freaky...!!!] but ya... i still miss np.. still miss bp...still miss t1...quite alot too... while i must say...2006 was fruitful...i learnt alot... more thn i ever did perhaps? but i lost alot too i felt...haha im gona strive to get thm back!! :D but erm.. 2006 wasn't easy....it wasnt happy.... no.... sec sch was.... i din noe much... bt i was contented thn... happy... nt knowing so much doesnt rilli matter la... to me... if anyone asked me whn was da best tym in my life? i wld say my sec sch days....w/o a doubt.. :D bt if thy were to ask me which was the tym i feel the most...well... erm ahhh~~ about..[da kinda ahhh~ sigh u noe whn u've accomplished sth..?? :D ya tt... :D] i'll perhaps say jc...

bt ya!! :D hail to all da dudes in my life!! :D i thk hu-eva's up thr for the ppl u brg into my life... :)

sk

9:24 now... HAPPY BIRTHDAY EILEEN!!!! huh?? =O!! u JUST turned 17 ah?? im gona 18 soon leh... =D

shit tt was so much mush. CAREFUL! dont sink in it!! esp-ly for all u DENSE ppl! :D

all da songs playing on shuffle is so nice... or maybe im just in a gd mood... :D

FLYING WITHOUT WINGS (Westlife)

Ev'rybody's looking for that something

One thing that makes it all complete

You'll find it in strange places

Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children

Some find it in their lover's eyes

Who can deny the joy it brings

When you find that special thing?

You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing ev'ry morning

Some, in their solitary lives

You find it in the works of others

A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You find it in the deepest friendships

The kind you cherish all your life

And, when you know how much that means

You've found that special thing

You're flying without wings

So, impossible as it may seem

You've got to fight for every dream

'Cause who's to know

Which one you let go

Would have made you complete?

Well, for me, it's waking up beside you

To watch the sun rise on your face

To know that I can say I love you

At any given time or place

It's little things that only I know

Those are the things that make you mine

And it's like flying without wings

'Cause you're my special thing

I'm flying without wings

And you're the place my life begins

And you'll be where it ends

I'm flying without wings

And that's the joy you bring

I'm flying without wings

argh shoot 9:33 now.... 2 hrs blogging.. omg **slaps forehead**

SORRY.

2006-09-14T20:55:00.000+08:00

to whom it may concern:
i begin to realise, just like da sacred 3, "sorry" loses it's value whn one use it excessively... pray, trust when i say i mean every sorry i say... cuz i do... n i do blame myself for wtv is worth apologising for... tt encompasses a lot... i have a lot to apologise for, perhaps more than any amount of apologies can make up for...

but. it does not necessarily mean i think im da only one at fault.

i m starting to get tired of being the 1 who seems to realise her faults; when sometimes, other equally guilty parties are oblivious to their inherent flaws. crudely put- i expect apologies, yes, apologise. that alone can, for me, clear anyone of their crime. is that too much to ask? an acknowledgment that u r not the best n so u make mistakes?

it irks me to have to handle your apparent lack of self knowledge; sensitivity; EQ ; respect; yadah... da list goes on... sir, hu, if urs truly would allow me to ask- r u to "give me permission" to do as i lyk? tt, just in case u din realise, is insulting; almost lyk, we cant b trusted to do wat's ryt w/o ur permission. ouch. ouch no. 2 wat- if i may ask- position r U in, to "forgive" me [oh, i thank God's grace for sending this blessing to Earth- some one who forgives me for my atrocities. o yes.]. or r u so busy extending ur abilities to c ev1's feelings n do wtv will hurt thm most, such tt u cannot c ur own flaws? awww, im so sorry tt u hav to undertake such a burden. i forgive u =). haha.

speaking of which, may i have your permission to just add in tt u rilli r da most sensitive person i've ever met. thank you! for indirectly pointing out the inferiority of the people [generally] of my gender; thank you too for helping me to waste tym, tt i so desperately wish to waste, as i so did not wish to use it to study n prepare for my upcoming promos. im referring to getting me to do work... tt is supposed to b "handed in"[for lack of a better word]- n thn completely ignore it. thank you =).thank you too for coming to me when u realised tt i needed tym alone. thank you for all the general condescendsion [hah! cant spell] u've shown... i tried to hide it...so hard! bt how did u noe tt being made to feel inferior is one of my pet hobbies? awww.... thank you...=D cant thank you more...

btw: refer to my 1st note on how excessive use of anything can lead 2 its devalue. thank you.

lalalala...

>>change mood<<

while i m generally displeased with your behavior, i must put in a word of justice for you[no more sarcasm! i mean wat i say here lolx. just in case =D]. after much deliberation, i realise tt i too m at fault- which was y i even bothered to apologise. i m extremely guilty for all the sarcasm tt i've been showing; i tink tt needs no explaining. im bad. bt of course, im nt so bad in real life. haha blogs give u da license to shoot your mouth off man...=D ok..lalala....tt felt good...

sry. i HAD to do tt. urgh. precious tym wasted. ought to be hanged... hey you! ya...ryt...rm hold this.... yea... erm...a little higher.... tt's gd tt's gd... little to the left please..... nono...nt too much ....now to the ryt.... bit more .... a weeeeeeny bit more..... OK! now pull!

/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/vvvvv______________________________________________

my fairyland

2006-08-31T16:39:00.000+08:00

you smile.

sunshine in my heart.

or so i remember.

you laugh.

music to my ears.

or so i remember.

your face.

give me comfort and support.

or so i remember.

your words.

wisemen of ages can never compare.

or so i remember.

i saw.

you smile.

sunshine beyond my heart.

i saw.

you laugh.

music to my deaf ears.

i saw.

your face.

comfort and support for what i know not.

i heard.

your words.

wisemen of ages may not bear.

i felt.

--were we ever like that?

or had nostalgia sculpted a fairyland of my past?

i fear.

as i floated.

away.

im lost; scared; my source of solace seems like something i made up to comfort myself. or did i not? i dont know. what im working for; towards.

y does it feel like im living on a different frequency altogether? y had i gone w/ nostalgia bt returned w/ negativity? y?

no more.

please.

lols....this was done quite some time ago.... rilli long ago.... date was 8/31/2006 on da diary... haha 1 of da saved drafts....erm... well... quite forgot wat this was about rilli.... haha...dun bother to ask... lol..i cant remember either =D pms la i tk....=D haha dun worry....im nt in pms moody mood now .... =D lol....i'dquite liked da poem!!!! =D so yar....i decided to share it. for awhile....will take it off in awhile too....=D wahaha doesnt fit da general mood of my (non-existent omost ) blog...:D so ya. THR! autographs later! :D

i can do it too with can do --note: sk SINGS this... [haha li xx xy shd gt this..]

2006-08-19T16:46:00.000+08:00

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesnt make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 10 people to play this game too.
5. Bold the questions and answers that swack

How are you feeling today?
more than words - westlife
well, today IS a day which i rilli cant describe with words la... or maybe it's just my vocab dam small... haha... yah... erm... u c uc !! im erming..!! rilli cant put wat i feel into words la... but erm... it's good? haha... i feel... erm.. some wat at peace w myself n my world... ya... tt snds chim =D

Will you get far in life?
i just called to say i love you- stevie wonders
erm... huh? abit no link ah player...[ ya, now im communicating w the media player too... in addition to birds...=D] ok... tt means.. **bang bang bang -cant tk of sth to crap**
so i suppose no? cuz i spend my life calling ppl to say i love thm? tis means tt some random person i randomly called might randomly call the police and randomly put me in jail, n bcuz of tt i wun get far in life...? erm ya...=D

How do your friends see you?
things left behind- nana kitade [must b frm some random anime... hmmz...din even noe i hav such a song]

erm... tt's a bit sad leh ..lolz..=D but to lk at it in a positive light, it might mean tt my fwens see me as sth left behind n SO! come over to involve me n nt leave me bhind! AHAH! [i gtting gd at crappin out ans..=D] hahah , anyway... i dun think so [hah! stoopid player , YOOOOU r dumb =D] , cuz i believe in my fwens =D wakakaka

Will you get married?
that's where you find love- westlife
erm, so yes? haha... ok... thr's no nd to crap anything 4 dis ah? =D it screams yes for itself...=D

What is your best friend's theme song?
li kai wo [leave me]
erm.. hmmz.. i believe thr's sth tt she wans to get rid of in her life; get it to leave her... erm ya.. lolz..=D

What is the story of your life?
houki boushi- younha; bleach
haha... houki boushi = meteors ryt? LOLS! astro!! astro dep. head la... hahaha tho v cmi, bt still... haha... =D so it means meteors r the story of my life... ahhhh~~ astro dep head for life!!! =S [drool ah li? =D]

What was high school like?
Symphony No. 9 (Scherzo)- ludwig van beethoven, composer.
well, listen to it... it's a grand song...=D da kind u hear in balls wakaka.. no... but frm the title ryt [since tt's wat im supposed to lk at] symphony.. so tt means it's v... erm synchronised.. a lotta instruments [people] playing together [working together], seamlessly to produce a great piece of music [ a great time ] AKA. high sch rocks! =D i cant agree more...=D ** paint my world maroon n white**

How can you get ahead in life?
my funny friend and me - sting
haha! yea... s'pose[lk lyk im ryting spor ryt? =D ...~in da spirit of patriotism(-has no future- sry! sidetrack to debate...haha...1st jcdcmotion=D)] dis means tt i need da lethal combi of me n my funny [black] friend haha... ya... ok to b bit corny... i nd **chokes** haha li to pull me thru life... true la..hmmz...

What is the best thing about your friends?
Wu xie ke ji- energy
erm it's chinese... did i mention my cheena not v gd? so... i dun rilli noe da exact meaning of wu xie ke ji... bt i tk it means like the best in sth or some field bah... so... the best things bout my friends is tt.. "they're the best ah!" =D

What is in store for this weekend?
reflection- christina aguilera
**gasps** dis is getting creepy.. **= 7th month! =D** lolz... ya... so i will b doing quite a bit of reflection la... erm.. make tt did.. hmmz.... ya... got a lot to think about;a lot for me to reflect on- my behavior my life...

-insert: wa lao... juz now da screen went blank..scare me... tot evting kenahed deleted... =S

What song describes you?
you've got a friend in me- lyle lovett
ahh~ sth nice.. erm... this means tt im a friend la, to some / all..haha... **ego boost sia =D lolz...no la..** ya.. i try my best to be a good fwen to ppl... n i hope im doin an ok job? lolz... u noe u wana nod lols...=D

To describe your grandparents?
LOL.. this is farni...
beauty and the beast- from beauty and the beast. haha.
LOL! luiterally ...it means tt 1's a beauty n 1's a beast... haha [if need be... it might not b tt female= beauty **gulps** sry! haha..=D] lolz....but metaphorically[ litlit!!=D] it can mean tt their relationship is true n erm nice? lyk beauty n da beast ? **tryiong my best lols**

How is your life going?
if you're not the one- ???
erm.. how's my life gg.. if im not the 1.. abit random again...**slaps forehead -wagaga**.. so my life is going if i'm not THE ONE... ok... so my life will go on so long as im not in the matrix la... will do... **lame**

What song will they play at your funeral?
long time coming- oliver james
wah lau... ppl tot my death was a long time coming? so thy cldnt rilli wait for me to die la... grr... or maybe thy tot i wldnt die until a long while later? erm.. nemind... crappy...

How does the world see you?
graduation day friends forever **sobz**- vitaamin c
so the world tk thy r always friends w me? haha... im cool w tt..=D... erm... reflects ev1's luv 4 me lor...=D

Will you have a happy life?
motherland- crystal kay; fma
erm... huh? hmmz is tt a no or yes? song doesnt sound v happy... so no? n since y life's stuck in my mum's land... it's prob no too? lol...

What do your friends really think of you?
alone- fullmetal alchemist
somehow the instrumental's named alone whn it's instrumental-ed after a russian song [fma movie] named brother... ok... follow alone... so my fwens tink im alone... spose tt means thy tk im not tellin ppl much about myself? well, tt's somewat true la... im struggling w tt, bt cant deny its truth...ssit tt obvious? **gasps*&

Do people secretly lust after you?
shut up- BEP
ok fine. no thn.
LOLS.

How can I make myself happy?
xiao shi hou[childhood] - nan quan mama
so it's tellin me to always kp tt child in me? gd advice rightly given [ooo shit...being adviced by a random media player? now TT's being stoopid, lyk a child..haha..]

What should you do with your life?
true to you heart- 98 degrees
i should be true to my heart... OK....so i shd just b true la.. n thn kp being true to my self n i'll survive... even w/o eating shitting la? LOL. ok....trying too hard i noe...=D]

Will you ever have children?
spongebob square pants theme song!!!
LOL!! i suppose tt means yes? since i supose kids watch spongebob? LOL

lol...WAZA! ok...quite fun la th test...
do it if u want =D i tag u! =D hueva u r.... i suppose tt means hueva is reading this....

o shit! i've just been tagged again! n again n again n again n again n again n again n again n again !!!! lolz... ok lame.. =D bubbye!

paint my world maroon and white

2006-08-17T23:39:00.000+08:00

wakaka, here is YET another [drumroll please]...... RANDOM NO LINK ENTRY!! **claps cheers! ahhhh~**

errr, today for LIT! AHAH! i managed to showcase my wonderful flair for english poetry. after some deep thoughts.. yea deep... as deep as... pam's silicon valley! [u noe it li =D] ---[btw, aHAH! lit!! SIMILE ( yes..yes.. tt's the way to do it... your're getting it... but always remember to ahhh~~~ to end off ur admirations for ME =D)] o ya, anyway, as i was saying... after some dee-silicon valley--eep thinkin, i came up, with a poem. [SQUAD SEDI-CLAP! (kk... i duno how command 4 clap shd sound lyk) p/s: it means CLAP! ] p/s: made v slight chgs...=D

my poem.

the library a sea of black n white-

"be silent!" the librarian screams.

more murmurs filled the library-

i knew it! the library noisy as has always been.

isn't it great? XD YAH! i think so tooo! =D

bathing

go now.

okok.

"SQUAD SEDI- go now! "

DONE!

2006-07-26T21:01:00.000+08:00

whee~ debates are finally over, [at least for our school it is] hwahahaha.... but ya..strangely i didnt feel as happy as i thought i would be... [awww...] esp when ms chong mentioned that the debates soc. will be closed down aft da com [ie. it's gone as in frm now]; tt's just sad lah... sorry... but in my opinion, tt's just abit too ...erm...realistic ? ya? well... if u do wish for our sch debate team to actually start getting some recognition... then wouldnt tt need training n effort? it's all realli nice n sweet of the principal to say that "oh! u hav my support all the way...i m already v proud of u". but ma'am, SAYING tt u support us n SHOWING ur support, are 2 entirely different things... so effectively, i feel tt ur smile n assurance of support is realli just a nicely looking plastic apple- looks good, but is realli nothing... sorry...

next, let me reflect on my time spent in debates... i mus say tt debating realli taught me alot ,esp about skills of persuasion n current affairs. now, i actually know things about th kyoto protocol, the UN- unisef, yadah yadah =D HERHERHERHERHER... this is probably y im not as happy as i shd b... cuz im not sure im happy n satisfied with knowing tt i have alot more to learn n improve on, but thn not do anything about it...

but anyhow, im still vvvvvvv glad tt i hav ownership over my life again...=D tt i cn b a proper student once again [which reminds me tt i have work undone =X] WHEEEeeeeEEEEEeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEeeeeEEEE =D tho we lost at quarts, im still v happy =D haha cuz we beat 2 teams [hueva thy r..] cuz i tot we'd beat none... =D so yar! conclusion on jcdc: goood~~~=D [but it's rilli a hell lot of work man....]

NOW!! da most impt part of da blog entry!=D THANK YOU DUDES! wahahahaha... esp esP eSP ESP!!! wahaha... yo dude... u stayed back rwealli late for all those days i had training... so i bet u were as tired as i was, n irritated too, whn da work seems unending...=D Uber uber uber big thank you seriously for all da support...=D rwealli rwealli... n thk Qs to weilin 4 all da "jiayou sk" tt u wrote evwhr... =D

sk

whee... im getting happy liao wor..=D

today, let's do something u haven't done in a long time...

2006-06-06T21:28:00.000+08:00

WAHAHAHA!!!! GREETINGS FROM PLANET MARS!!

mmm.... i feel it i feel it...I HAVE BEEN MISSED! i know...my followers... you have suffered long... but suffer no more!! i m back to brighten up ur life once more with my incredible life stories!!!

JUST in case u havent already noticed... this post has entirely NO CONNECTION whatsoeva to it's title... y thn, u ask me, did i put down the title as tt? because......this ENTIRE POST is going to be continuous ramblings from the oh so wonderful brain of mine...hence, i felt the need to put some completely random phrase down as the title of the post.... [MUAHAHAHA!! note: this is a literary technique known as foreshadowing.... {it wld b appropriate now if ev1 go "ahhhh~~~" with me...ready? ahhhhhh~~~~~~~}]

well! let me randomly talk about random nonsense in my randomly nonsensical life...jc has been... mmm... OK for me... nothing particularly impactful... still cant help feeling that i'll walk away from 2 years of jc life with nothing but my texxtbook knowledge in my pockets... not saying tt pioneer sucks, but tt i dun quite fit in still... lyk trying to fit a hand into a [erm] condom? when it should b in a glove? [ note no. 2! notice i'm trying v hard to cum up with a nice ANALOGY here {ahhh~~~~~ with me!!} , but i cant find any other things tt allow "fitting in" ...so make do with condom yea?]

i suppose all of u followers would have noticed tt my incessant rambling + self talking habits have not left me...[neither has my love n obssession with myself....as if tt wld ever leave...bet u r all the same too...still v much in love w me huh?] some things NV chg... but some do... well...i cant realli place a finger on what's chgd... bt i tink the past fun fun close close intimate moments r gone n maybe nt gona cum back...tt's abit sad...=( i think i've lost sum of the ppl i cherished...[wahahaha...yes...im still =( by the frens moving on thing...lol...]

anyone in national jc debating championship btw?? tt's lyk the 1st major comp i gona take part in... cuming up late july... wahahaha...dont realli want...but sort of want it too... it can b fun i guess...

mmmm....just had my astro camp...went ubin on fri n came back w 29 mos bites =D...[ahhh~ i knew thr was a reason why i was on nostalgia mode...] yar... had nth to do... so spent some tym counting my mosquito bites... just lyk in sec 2, 3 ... mmm astro camp...to me... was not exactly a success... not even close... erm... ya... did v random nonsense lame tings... [thr's a reason for TT too...i mean...look at it's oic{aka: me}...hee...]mmm... had LOTR marathon on 2nd nyt... was nodding off in approval [**cough :sleep**] of the 2nd instalment... but it was a first for me... to continuously finish the 3 instalments... "it was cool~~ " --[quote from sheene from jimmy neutron the movie from...erm...nickeloden? from erm...america? i guess? from...yar... nvm...i try too hard =D....]

what other random nonsense do u wanna hear? come 'on!! tell me!! i cant hear youuuuuuuuu~~! what? teeth>? OH! MYTEETH~!! well then... episode 2 in: 1 day in the world of skae's buccal cavity...

haha! as u might b able to remember...i had to visit the dentist on a previous account due to toothache... well, i had toothache again few wks back! [diff tooth] this tym... i decided tt i cant rilli handle a dentist trip... the last tym i went i cldnt talk for hours! my fans wld b heartbroken =D... ANYWAY... i decided to tahan the pain... n so i did! n!......the pain!! ahhh...it.....it...IT....went away. =D boy... i was hapy... so i tot : "it's safe to feed on junk food again" ....so i did!! n now... a few wks passed... evting was fine...until! HARIBO came along....YES!! harribo! THAT harribo!! dont u dare underestimate THAT soft squishy nice sweet[adj] sweet[noun-HA!] popped one into my mouth.. n ....

chewed.

chewed.

chewed more.

chewed even more.

chow chow chow.

chew chow chow.

chow chew chew.

and.

part of my teeth... came off!!! [AHHHHHHHH~~!!!!!{note: do this ahhh~ w a diff tone from the ahhh~ b4}]

yar... skae's POV..

harribo sweet went in...chow chow chow... harribo sweet became a bit to hard...started to chink against my teeth... felt lyk sand... wanted to complain against harribo company[u know i wont...what for? jus ryt to newpaper lah! =D ili shd gt this at least ]... decided to collect evidence and safekeep it in case i decided to ryt to anyone...n so...i spat out the sand lyk foreign object... tot: hmm...tt lks familiar... probes... it's white...lks lyk teeth... OMG! my harribo grew teeth?? [**skae receives ur rotten eggs w perfect accuracy**...i know tt's lame...] yar...tt's not all! the other day...i forgot how [ sad... no drama rama] ... another teeth chipped off... n it's the tooth tt went for dental the last tym...

ok!

im done dling episode 22 of bleach....tt's the onli reason y im here in the first place... well, anyhow... im gg now! hope u had fun readin my random ramblings! [final note FROM THE EDITOR {im trying to boost my ego here...dun deflate it...}: literary technique 2: ALLITERATION!!!!! my all tym fav lit tech. =D]

tt's all!

erm... u cn go..

lyk now...

erm...

BYE?

2006-04-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

hello~
im here to update [duh]
haha... anyway, it's gd friday...no reason not to do some bita slackin'...so yup... juz in case ppl say i neglect my blog...[yiling, this is directed at u..haha]
a few updates on my life... im now in ASTRO club , no luffing...i hav , so far, learnt tt thr r 9 planets in our solar system [yes, im sure now] i learnt bout da birth place of stars ---nebulas [trust, i nv hrd of it b4...in da past...astro 4 me...was stars stars stars stars..] ; n meteors, meteorids n meteorites... thr's a diff! i barely knew tt...i tot it was juz diff way of calling stones falling to earth.. lyk ili;li;yilidadali;.... haha=D..ok no more bout astro..let's move on...

onward!

erm..

ONWARD!

erm...

ONWard??

hmmz..da capitalisation din hlp me...thr's nth 4 me to onward w..

wah lan

eeeyur..boringboringboring...i've even lost tings 4 me to poke fun at... hmmz... cn sum1 b nice n curse me a toothache? i'll b eternally greatful n indebted..

haiz...**shakes head**

arh im pathetic....[NOT...stop grinning ppl...u noe it's not true] haiz... i noe most ppl has moved on..BUT...i still miss sec sch...jc's gtting abit too much 4 me...too ovverwhelming...

o yar....anyway, today we had an outing at chi garden...nt rilli...hmmz...make tt chi garden's pagoda...haha...slacked around...v windy...saw alotta kam's relatives...rilli funky ppl thy r too!! [ryt ?] haha =D it was close to good to c aimi again =p [i tried my BEST to lie haha] anyway...i cn of cuz tell ev1 was happi to c me...=p [saw ryt thru u din i?=D] lol...

this week's rating: 2/10 =( ok + 3 aft today's outing...=D thx peep...at least da wk passed...haha XD

it's been a truly shitty week...now i noe da true meaning of shitty... [no..pls dun rilli show me the true-est meaning of shitty...the rating will thn gt a negative...lyk my astro quiz, sum ppl will noe wat i mean...im too lazy to type it out..=D]

thr! i posted!!! no more complains...=D whaha...

2006-03-20T21:52:00.000+08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Seowken!

Seowken cannot swim!
Koalas sleep for 22 hours a day, two hours more than seowken!
The average duration of sexual intercourse for seowken is two minutes.
The number one cause of blindness in the United States is seowken.
Seowken has only one weakness - the colour yellow!
Abraham Lincoln, who invented seowken, was the only US president ever granted a patent.
There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat seowken, though it may feel uncomfortable!
Seowken never said 'Play it again, Sam'.
A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find seowken.
The moon is 400 times closer to the Earth than seowken, and 400 times smaller.

couldnt resist...this is abit funny...

pt 2: i noe i slp 4 vvvvvlong...

pt3: ......

pt4: cuz thy r so DAZZLED by my beauty talent n intelligence...

pt5: c how impt i m? presidents cant giv patents w/o me...=D

pt10: i noe im vast..=D

tt's it....im not gona blog bout my first day in an old but new place; oldly new class...lazy...=D

bye.

dental dental...

2006-03-04T11:16:00.000+08:00

whooo~ it's been a way looong tym since i last updated...but this is REAL exciting...so i'll tell u guys bout it..

WARNING: THE ENTRY IS UBER LONG...I WARNED U..I'LL UNDERSTAND IF U DONT READ IT FROM TOP TO END...[juz dun lk at me if ur teeth mysteriously starts aching]

ok...i've been having toothache 4 quite some tym...now dont say tt i eat too much sweets n dont brush..tt is history!! but since da tooth decay started long ago..haiz...anyway...toothache sucks...big tym...it hurts so much tt i m driven to flinging vulgarities at my pillow... n i'm not TT crude a person...unless in dire situations..i wont swear...[:| i tink] anyway...toothache realli hurts...n yar...i wish tt whoeva is luffin at me now [ or say i eat too much sweets]..will gt a terrible terrible toothache too...wahaha...TT is evil..honest..

ok anyway..i went to da dentist...n he chked out my teeth..thn he mumbled sth bout analgrams n sum no.s n some being tilted [eg. 5.2tilted..]...i duno...but analGRAMS sounds lyk maths to me...lyk paralleloGRAM...[SEE!! i owaes knew too much maths was bad 4 u!!] n anyway...aft TT v mathematical examination...he started tapping on my teeth..[tap tap taptaptap..he doesnt exactly have a great sense of rhythm..]on my part i'll "arh!" in tune with his tapping..[ tap arh arh tap tap arh arh tap(my bad teeth were side by side)]thn he decided tt..[at least i tink he did] he cnnt spot any ting wrong frm da surface of my teeth [note: at dis pt of tym i still din noe it was tooth decay...i juz tot it was super uber ultra hypersensitve teeth]..upon tt discovery...he decided tt an XRAY! was necessary...so ...it was an xray i got..da lady assist. got me to lie down...thn she threw an ultra big n heavy lead bib on me...[i swear tt if a baby wears tt bib...he''ll hardly hav to worry bout dirtying himself..cuz he wun even b able to eat..] ok th ultra big n heavy was ABIT exaggerated..but anyway..aft the bib, thy gave me a pacifier..juz tt THIS pacifier..is also lead! whee.. so yar..aft treating me lyk an uber oversized baby...[ i noe i'm real cute..but treating me lyk a baby is abit too extreme..]...as i was saying...aft treating me lyk an oversized baby da doc came in chk a few things n said..."dont move k"...n he left..n the lady assist left..n thy came back ..n took me out..hmmz...i tot xray would b sth MORE~~ at least put da lights out..but NO~~...thy juz left..n came back to retrieve me even b4 i felt th climax was thr..ok...thn we went back to th clinic..n i lay down on th bed again..thn to kill tym th doc ask...whr r u schling ..i said i'm gg to ajc..thn he said.."wah..tt is so far" **at this pt...imagine a whole crowd og ppl appearing behind him n saying it w/ him (anime anime..=D)]** y da drama? ooo cuz he's da no.-i-cnnt-count-th [not bcuz my maths suck] person to say tt to me...WHEE~~

thn we gt the xray film...here's ur million dollar qn...guess the size of the xray film..issit (a) a5 size[1/2 a4] (b) passport size (c) a4 size or (d) a6...the correct answer is (B) passport size....hmm..juz lyk b4...I expected MORE frm an xray..~~[recall : on tv..xray films r on avg drawing block size...da last tym i took 1..it was a4...] ANYWAY~ my teeth r haywire..uber messy [transparent teeth makes it all the more worse]...i m so ashamed of my teeth...

anyway[again] ... he told me tt the decay was realli deep in...as in REALLI deep in..he had to do sth n remove my nerves..n to do tt super painful procedure..anasthetics were required..myabe it's the toothache tt was distracting me...maybe it's da dentist or maybe, it's juz me..but i din feel a ting 4 da injection...i told myself..

'...antbite antbite...'
doc: "ok close ur eyes..n take a deep breathe "
[he has a nice voice..he shd realli b a dj]
**body tenses**
'ANTBITE ANTBITE!!'
**stares into da doc's mask...n watch the needle go in...n leave**
'i dun feel a ting..!!'
whee~ i m so proud of myself 4 tt..wahaha...

aft tt..it's the procedure of drilling n sucking [irritating sucker..literally..]...n washing...[oo...the doc kp spraying water on my face..] mainly there's only 1 detail left 4 me to recount...th cutting of nerves..

well..as u might noe..da doc wore a plastic mask..n so i cld view th whole procedure..[highly entertaining] anyway..into th climax of the entertainment...the doc came up w/ a razor like needle...[essentially it's a needle with jagged edges] the needle was of normal needle length...[th fine thin needle ] n guess wat? he stuck th entire length of it into my teeth..tho i cant feel aniting..i was creeped out..the needle is so lng!! my tooth was round 1/4 it's length!! exactly how bad was the decay..[not tinking not tinking..]

to top it all off...my dentist trip concluded magnificently..magnificent as a WATERFALL..[u'll noe y waterfall later...read on..]u see..anasthetic..to me at first..wld numb your nerves n perhaps act as an insulator to the electrical impulses to your brain [my theory...im nt sure..] to my wonderful "delight" i discovered it does more thn tt... as u noe...aft the dental session..u nd to rinse ur mouth to remove the debris..[i had fillings]n so i did as i was told--rinse... my top left lip thn felt numb..awkward...like having sum1 pinch your lip lightly n holding on..[i cn c all of u pinching..=D]..anyway, i took sum water into my mouth, n as i bend to start rinsing..the water ..erm..fell..[now u gt it..]yea..i cldnt move my lip!! argh...n so i cant close my mouth properly..YAY~

ok..tt's it..this is an uber long entry i noe...if u bothered to read frm top to end, thx! i juz wanted to share it w/ ppl..so even if u hadnt read it fully, it's ok...[i hope u get a toothache]..erm...tt's it cya~!

whee i tried to update...

2006-02-18T16:08:00.000+08:00

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

koh seow ken

[noun]:

A person of questionable sanity who starts their own cult

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

i tried to update...credit me for the effort at least...WHEEE~~~~~~ **claps:effort!**

if tomorrow never comes..

2006-02-05T22:51:00.000+08:00

If tomorrow never comes..

Sometimes late at night

I lie awake and watch her sleeping

She''s lost in peaceful dreams

So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark

And the thought crosses my mind

If I never wake up in the morning

Would she ever doubt the way

I feel About her in my heart

Chorus: If tomorrow never comes

Will she know how much I loved her

Did I try in every way to show her every day

That she''s my only one

And if my time on earth were through

And she must face the world without me

Is the love I gave her in the past

Gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes ''

Cause I''ve lost loved ones in my life

Who never knew how much I loved them

Now I live with the regret

That my true feelings for them never were revealed

So I made a promise to myself

To say each day how much she means to me

And avoid that circumstance

Where there''s no second chance

to tell her how I feel

So tell that someone that you love

Just what you''re thinking of

If tomorrow never comes

hey peeps...if tomorrow never comes...

just know that i care...=D

haha farni videos

2006-01-30T11:08:00.000+08:00

lol...it's chu er n i'm waitng 4 my fam to get up n go bai nian [chu er = 2nd day of CNY; bainian= visiting] so while i waste my tym away...i decided to surf 4 farni adverts.. chk thm out..!!=D

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=244779989091726735

clops!~a clay action figure action movie hahah :D

http://video.search.yahoo.com/video/view?&h=105&w=140&type=msmedia&rurl=www.dayvejohnson.com%2F&vurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dayvejohnson.com%2FDownloads%2FVideo%2Ftopdui1.wmv&back=_adv_prop%3Dvideo%26va%3Dfunny%2Badvertisement%26fr%3DFP-tab-web-t%26ei%3DUTF-8&turl=scd.mm-so.yimg.com%2Fimage%2F1850691044&name=topdui1.wmv&no=14&tt=47&p=funny+advertisement&oid=9acd98dc5efbeb90&size=1.1MB&dur=114

haha farni cop video

http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/archive/topic/57513-1.html
haha haf a few farni adverts~includes pepsi ikea haha lol…but lemmi clear sth first…I tink one of the ads is not v polite to japs… I dun support tt..but i giv thm credit 4 humour… n i insist tt while their adverts rock, i still prefer coke =D

http://www.santorine.org/adolph/otherstuff.htm

I didn’t have tym to chk out the other videos…but scroll down n try the video "fire" hahahhaha…it’s damn farni …abit twisted but v farni…!!!=P

2006-01-29T02:10:00.000+08:00

quote: haha frm ili
"ever suppressed some feelings to urself? i thk every1 has gone thru dat b4, at least once. agree?

well.. wad did u do?

hmm.. did u tell some1 abt it eventually? did u express urself in some ways? or just kept it in all the way?

if u told some1....did u say out everythg dat's on ur mind? did u feel better aft dat?

or did u just let out enuf to release urself from the unbearable tension inside u?"

hmmz.. qn 1: y m i bloggin on this?
ans: no particular reason...my blog juz needed sum "ressurrection phial" [haha abit too obssessed w/ fable] to make it alive again...so yea...this kinda presented itself as the "phial"...

entry starts:
suppressing feelings...i think that is a part of life ...if not life itself...especially in s'pore dun u tink? suppressing is something i consider a life-skill...i think high eq ppl might acknowledge that...when to say wat n whn not to... it's a matter of holding your tongue...[that i cant do v well..not juz yet...]

but i dun think that is wat ili meant. so, i shall zoom into our main content now... i believe i m pretty much alive [ o wait...lemmi chk... hmm...pulse not thumping...that normal? yea...i'm alive...:D] haha when it boils down to suppressing feelings i think i might just have sum things to say...i dun lyk to express emotions that r unpleasant, 4 simple reason that i dun c a nd to make ev1 else feel unpleasant... i tink by now u might hav noticed thru. the nonsensical crap...i have not reach the main context ... [i forgot my main context liao..nvm..juz kp typing..]there r things i want to say, things that i wan to express...n thr they r...at the tip of my tongue...[beeliee me...mouth's wealli cwowded !! :D] 90% of the tym i let thm slip away... [haha thr's always tt 10 % reserved for whn i get realli pissed...hahah] for me, suppressing emotions isn't realli bad..i tink it saved my butt on a few occasions...tho. i do regret 4 not spking up on certain issues..[still regreting...haha...yah i noe...a life of no regrets...wat crap..]

so 4 me, i basically told no one...[othr than myself...(as sum might hav recently discovered cuz i told thm)...i luv toking to myself!! complaining to myself!! hahah!!:D]how did i express thm? [i told thm to myself in th mirror] do i feel better? haha well...outta a hundred percent, i will recover on an average 75% [15% regret n pissed-off-ness] hah yea...i prefer to ctrl my emotions...[tho. i will let my emotions triumph 4 awhile b4 regaining ctrl]..so yar...i will sweep those evil tots away..[tt's y i hav no tym to clear my rm!!cuz i'm bz clearing up my mind...n dun tell me my brain is oreadi spotless n grooveless]...n sumhow..thy will stay away...

hmm...if i'm a teacher i'll giv this entry a 3/10...FAIL!!! y? TOTAllY OUT OF POINT!! :D.. muahaha

outta pt sk
p/s...to anyone hu might b tinking "shucks... sk cant even share her tots ...sum fren..." haha lol...totally read ur mind!! **sk triumphs internally: hah! i'm psychic!** ok maybe not...but pls dun tink anything on tt line...not u!! it's me!! mE! ME! hahahah!! yah.. :|